I saw this on another messageboard. I thought it was interesting. Is your spouse your bestfriend? I would say that my spouse is NOT my bestfriend
I do not consider anybody my bestfriend. I do have some very good and close girlfriends, but nobody I call bestfriend. I guess Im the odd one here though.

By Tink on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 04:12 pm:

I would probably say no. I have one person that provides more emotional support, another that is a great person to go out with. It isn't a deliberate action or a hurtful position on his part, just a difference in the male/female brain, I guess. We have a great marriage and I get what he can't provide from other friends. He isn't social, but he supports me going out to dinner with my friends. He doesn't know what to say when I'm upset about something but he'll hold me while I cry and keep the kids out of my hair while I call a friend that will sympathize. He may not be able to provide everything I need but he supports me in finding what I do need from others.

By Missbookworm on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 04:17 pm:

My partner is my best friend. We were best friends for a long while and it evolved into a relationship. We've been a couple for a few years now.

I could say more but I've answered your question simply.

By Crystal915 on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 04:20 pm:

I'd have to agree with Cori. He's not my best friend, but he loves and supports me, and I do the same for him.

By Missbookworm on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 04:21 pm:

p.s. I do have a girlfriend who I am best friends with that I call when I have things I feel like I want a female perspective. There is nothing I can't talk to him about though.

By Kateg on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 04:43 pm:

My DH is my best friend. We've been through a lot together and it has strengthened our friendship, as well as our relationship.

I do have a girlfriend who I am really good friends with that I, too, can call or e-mail when I want to talk about anything.

But, I, too, can talk to mine about anything. He may not understand, but he's there for me & will hear me out. My first marriage we weren't best friends...so, I've lived and learned & was really lucky the second time around.

By Anonymous on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 04:50 pm:

No. He has no close friends. His parents have no friends. The poor guy was raised in a household where friendship had no value. He has no clue how to be a friend. He has a huge fear of being vulnerable. His mother always used any weakness against him. I seek my friends outside my home. I pity him.

By Colette on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 05:00 pm:

My dh is my best friend and I am his. I have other friends but no one knows me as well as dh.

By Anonymous on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 05:05 pm:

Its sad, but some of my close friends no me better then my husband. I should say I tell them more then I tell my husband. My husband and myself dont see eye to eye on ALOT of things, we have different values and such. So I dont share a whole lot with him. I feel more at ease telling my friends my feelings then him.

By Pamt on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 05:16 pm:

Absolutely! DH is the first one I want to rush to and tell good news or bad news to, we "save" movies for each other (i.e., when we go to the movie with other friends I'll say, "Let's don't see that one. I promised DH I would watch it with him."), we enjoy just hanging out together and running errands, and we talk about our hopes, dreams, values, and debate almost every night. I do think there is a special place for every woman to have a best girlfriend or two also, because that female camaraderie is a very different sort of thing. However, NO ONE knows the good, bad, and ugly about me like my DH. We have a long history together (we've known each other since 3rd grade and dated since 11th) and we can read each other's minds.

By Trina~moderator on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 05:30 pm:

YES! Ditto Colette and Pam. DH knows me best. As Pam puts it, "the good, bad, and ugly". LOL! We get along well and out of ALL the people in the world, including my best female friend, I feel *most* comfortable with DH.

By Andi on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 05:33 pm:

I would have to say I agree with Trina.

I do have one very close Girl Friend that I talk to everyday but when it comes down to it I would have to say DH is my Best Friend.

By Karen~moderator on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 06:19 pm:

Ditto Pamt & Trina.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 07:00 pm:

Ditto Pamt. My dh is my very best friend in the whole world. We do everything together, he knows everything about me, knows my thought before I say it. We've been through so much together. I have other girlfriends that I'm close to, but he's the one I'd rather be with. When I have an issue, he's the best listener and the best counselor I know. I really LIKE dh. If we weren't married or romantically involved, I would LOVE to be friends with him. I admire and respect him more than anyone I know.

By Amecmom on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 07:36 pm:

He is and I am his. We have other friends, but there is no one else I want to share the ephemera of the everyday with.
Ame

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 07:37 pm:

YESSSSS!! There are things I discuss with my best friend back home in Colorado, just to get a female view, but my DH knows everything and is very supportive in my decisions.

By Luvn29 on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 09:07 pm:

So totally. As cliche as it is, he really does complete me.

We have the best partnership there could ever be. We have the best of all worlds, because not only are we totally in love with each other, physically attracted to each other, best friends, but we are mentally attracted to each other, also.

Our first year was a very difficult year, but since then, we have grown together so much. We have been through so many trials and tribulations that we have no control over, but they have only brought us closer together.

He is the first person I can't wait to tell about anything. We talk about everything. He knows me almost better than I know myself. He always knows when somethings bothering me, or when I am so happy, without me even having to say a word. And he always knows just what to say and do to make things better.

He's also my cheerleader when it comes to my health problems, and me reaching my dreams anyway, by going back to school.

I have no other girlfriends that I am close to because I would rather spend my time with my husband. He doesn't care for me going out with the girls, and such, but I have no desire to.

Funny thing is, before we started dating or even flirting with each other, I remember thinking, wow, I sure would love to be his friend. It looks like he would be a lot of fun to hang out with. And you know what? He is!

By Marcia on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 09:18 pm:

No. While he is a great guy and gets along with everyone, I don't feel that he really listens the way a female friend does. We do share everything in our lives, and we're probably better friends now than we were even a month ago, but I still couldn't do without my girlfriends. I know that I can say anything and not be judged, and they will be totally honest with me, whether it's what I want to hear or not.
If I didn't have the strong female relationships that I have, I don't think that my marriage would be as strong as it is right now. Girlfriends are like therapy to me.

By Kay on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 10:54 pm:

My husband is absolutely my best friend - he was my best friend before we began dating, and the move from being 'just' friends to dating was so seamless that it's always felt right.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 11:37 pm:

Well, I don't know if he is my BEST friend, but he sure knows everything about me and we do like running errands together and going to movies together and stuff like that.

I have known my friend Edie longer than I have known DH. She also knows everything about me and is probably the second person I would go to with GREAT news.

The even more wonderful thing is that Edie's family and my family are all best friends together and nothing is better than all being able to get together for Friday night pizza! Ted and Gary love to debate with each other about computer stuff and digital cameras, gas prices, and stuff like that! They can have friendly disagreements, but no one ever gets mad.

I guess I have the best of both worlds with my husband for a spouse and Edie for a girlfriend.

By Tunnia on Saturday, August 20, 2005 - 11:42 pm:

Yes! My dh is my ultimate best friend and has been since well before we were married. I also have a female best friend who, as dearly as I love her, ranks below my dh.

By Anonymous on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 12:10 am:

Used to be, not anymore...

By Cocoabutter on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 12:56 am:

Totally my best friend. Unfortunately, we are more like friends than lovers lately, but that should change when ds goes to school... ;)

My dh is very strong, emotionally, and he has helped me through a lot of hardship.

When we moved to the city, I lost contact with my girlfriends from school. I don't have a best girlfriend. I thought I had found one, but as it turned out, she was just using me. I am such a sucker.

By Eve on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 12:40 pm:

My DH is sort of beyond a best friend to me. I don't know anyone else who I feel as comfortable around. I wouldn't trade him in for anything. I might clone him though. LOL

By Eve on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 12:41 pm:

I forgot to add, I think you need girlfriends too though.

By My3cuties on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 02:01 pm:

DH is definately my best friend. He listens and knows my needs and wants. He is the only person that I can go to and talk about things and not worry about him telling everyone else. I trust him (not in the beginning but we have made it a long way). He is a great guy and I couldn't imagine another man (or woman for that matter) in the world that I could confide in like him.

By Laurazee on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 06:49 pm:

Yes, if Best Friend = the person who

• Gives you the better of the two choices
• Holds your hand when walking down life’s scary pathways.
• Helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you.
• Thinks of you at times when you are not there.
• Reminds you of what you have forgotten.
• Helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer.
• Stays with you so that you have confidence.
• Goes out of their way to make time for you.
• Helps you clear up your mistakes.
• Helps you deal with pressure from others.
• Smiles for you even if they are sad.
• Helps you become a better person.
• Is the most completely trustworthy person in your world.
• Puts you in your place when you need it the most.
• Knows you inside and out - and still loves you.
• Understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 06:54 pm:

That would definitely be my DH, given those terms. He is definitely there with a hug, if I have had a bad day. He is also the person who saw an apple-shaped cookie cutter and bought it for me, since I'm a sucker for cookie cutters!

Some of these would go for Edie, too, though, but like Laura said, you see DH far more, so he is often the friend of choice.

Edie and I get busy sometimes and can't make time for each other.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 01:04 am:

Yes my DH is my very best friend. From the moment I met him I was comfortable with him and that feeling has just multiplied over the years. He (as someone else said) completes me. I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world.

I will save my opinions on female friendship for another day because I could write a book and this isn't about that...

By Happynerdmom on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 09:49 am:

Yes. Ditto Pam. We are each others best friend. We started off as friends before we started dating in high school. As others have said, he knows me like no one else, even the best and the ugliest parts, and still loves me!! I guess everyone's relationship is different, but I can't imagine being married to someone who wasn't my best friend. It makes life so much FUN!!

By Lorebunde on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 11:15 am:

I guess DH is my best friend. Sometimes though there are things I wish I didn't tell him, he'll go on and on or throw something back in my face. But I don't really have a lot of Close friends so I guess I'll have to say "yes".

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 03:06 pm:

Yes, definately!

By Latonya on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 03:20 pm:

My husband is my best friend. We talk about everything. He is the first one I talk to when something happens and I am the first one he talks to. I can't imagine it any other way.

By Kernkate on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 03:37 pm:

DH is my best friend.

By Kaye on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 03:50 pm:

Yes. I do have a very good girl friend that rivals him though. We joke often that when we are old we will live together (after the spouses are dead). I have to say though we have been going through some rougher times lately and that friendship part is the first to go, I feel like a 5th grade girl some days, "i just don't like you anymore" LOL

By Anonymous on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 03:52 pm:

I want to say its so nice to see how many people consider their spouses their bestfriend. These posts were really touching to read. I dont consider my spouse my bestfriend(OH Im original anon). I realize alot of it is my problem. Im a very insecure person, with low self esteem. Sometimes I dont tell anybody my problems as I worry what they would say. I dont take rejection well, and I dont like people saying negative things. So in turn, I keep alot of stuff to myself and do not even tell my spouse. He isnt the first one I run to when I have news, good or bad. Actually I dont run to anybody with any good or bad or important news. I internalize alot of things, and when Ive thought it out. I then decide who I want to share my news with. Sometimes it is not my spouse. We dont agree on ALOT of issues. Sometimes when there is a problem I choose not to discuss with him as I get tired of the same old stuff being said. So in turn I either maybe discuss it with a friend, or just keep it to myself. My spouse is a very nice person though.

By Bellajoe on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 04:52 pm:

No, i would not say he is my BEST friend. He is a typical man who "listens" when i talk to him. But later i find that he really was not listening. It hurts my feelings actually. I feel like what i am talking about is important, but to him it is not important...or at least he acts like it is not important to him.
He does know me pretty well, and i know him well also. I am pretty predictable so he knows what i am going to say or do before i say or do it.
My best friend is my sister. I tell her everything and she listens and cares.

By Jayne2 on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 07:04 pm:

Absolutely! Rob is my best friend. We were friends first. It's been 21 years that we've been together and I can't imagine my life without him. I am so grateful our relationship...we work really hard on it.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 09:27 pm:

Well, yeah, I have to say sometimes he doesn't "listen", when I talk! LOL! He is thinking about 10,000 other things! I just take it in stride, because he still is a nice guy.

By Imamommyx4 on Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 12:05 pm:

YES, YES, YES! I married him 7 months after I met him and never regretted it. Wanted to pop him a few times but never wanted out. But just like any human friend, male or female, he will let me down a little from time to time just cuz he's not perfect. But he is a good shot at it.

I have 3 best girlfriends each from a different time in my life that I hold very dear and have shared and still do share alot with. But dh is the top banana of friends. If I have to make a choice between them, it's dh hands down.

By Juli4 on Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 12:34 pm:

my dh and I have started dating when I was 13 and then seriously when I was almost 16 and we basically grew up together. I definetely tell him everything and he is the first one I tell.

By Breann on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 12:21 pm:

Yes! For sure I would rather be with him, at ANY given time, than any of my other friends. I'd even prefer to go shopping with him! He is my very very best friend.

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 01:59 pm:

Anon, I'm sorry to hear...it would be hard to listen to the same responses or not feel that connection.
Is it just that he responds negatively?

By Anonymous on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 02:25 pm:

Im original Anon.. No I wouldnt say he responds negatively all the time. Its that I take things very personal, I get my feelings hurt alot(easily). So, on some issues, where I feel are important, he may or may not have a negative response but sometimes doesnt see my point of view. I know everybody doesnt see eye to eye on everything, I understand that. So many things I just keep to myself. There are many times I have strong feelings about things, good or bad, and I just keep to myself. I dont tell him, or anybody else. That way if its something good thats happening, I wont have to hear somebody elses response how its no big deal. If Im going through something bad, then I still dont have to hear somebodys response that "its no big deal".. So instead of getting my feelings hurt, I just keep alot of things to myself.

By Cat on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 02:31 pm:

No. I wish he was. But there are just some things he just doesn't understand and he's too stubborn to listen! We are really good friends, and very comfortable around each other, but I can't say he's my "best friend".

By Happynerdmom on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 03:01 pm:

Anon, I think you need to go to counseling. If you get your feelings hurt every time you and someone don't see eye to eye, you would have trouble in any relationship, not just your marriage. You sound VERY insecure, and, IMO would benefit from some counseling. (((hugs)))