Hi ladies....been a VERY long time...started a new job about 4 months ago and have NO time to do anything....
BUT.....my husband said he was going to file for divorce on Friday. I think he's blowing a lot of smoke but I'd like to make sure MY information is correct just in case he follows up on this one...I already told him that I wasn't getting divorced since we'd discussed this before we got married. I had already seen 7 kids go through a divorce and I wasn't doing that to #8, if divorce was going to be an option then I saw no point in getting married. At the time, of course, he agreed.
I think I have already found out that he can obtain a divorce even if I contest it on the simple fact that contesting it would simply prove irreconcilable differences...so now my question is ....
does anyone know if west virginia law requires a period of seperation before a divorce is granted?

Would appriciate anyone's knowledge as I haven't been able to find this information and really can't afford to hire a lawyer right now.
Thanks so much
Beth

By Emily7 on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 03:53 pm:

I don't know about West Virginia law, but it would seem to me that forcing your dh to stay in a marriage he doesn't want would be harder on the child than divorce. I would think getting the divorce, getting on with your life & helping your child deal with the divorce would be the right thing to do. Of course this is just my opinion & I do not know the circumstances you are living in.

By Emily7 on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 04:29 pm:

West Virginia DivorceI am not sure if this will help or not.

By Luvn29 on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 04:52 pm:

No help here, cause I really don't know, but just wanted to tell you that it is West Virginia law that she needs...

Good luck Beth, and I hope everything works out to the best of everyone.

By Amecmom on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 05:09 pm:

West Virgina

Good Luck. It's not easy.
Ame

By Emily7 on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 05:23 pm:

I am sorry if my earlier comment seems harsh. You have seen what divorce has done to your other 7 children & do not want that for your 8th child, I can understand that. I have seen what staying together for the sake of the child can do. The child ends up seeing how unhappy his parents are & ends up blaming himself for their unhappiness.
Good luck in & I am sorry for the unsolicitated advice.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 08:22 pm:

Emily, Don't feel bad. I am also a child of a marriage that stayed together for the sake of the children. 16 years to long, by the way. I lost respect for my mother and I disliked my father. I knew they were only married because of us kids. And honestly the day that my mom finally stood up for herself was like a rebirth for me. My father stayed because it was cheaper than paying support. My mom stayed because she was a stay at home mom with no means to support us. By the time they divorced they had beat the marriage horse to death. Staying married because of children is the worst possible thing to do. You aren't fooling your children and it does leave life long effects.

Now as far as eight-kids, why exactly is he filling if you don't mind me asking? Some marriages can be saved and others clearly should have never happened in the first place. I mean really, some people get so caught up in the idea of getting married that they never take the time to really get to know the other person or think through the situation they are getting into. They jump in with both feet and wake up feeling like they are living in hell from the word go. Then there are the marriages that start out right and get lost in life. Not sure which one yours is.

By Christylee on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 10:45 pm:

I totally agree Bobbie and Emily... My parents stayed together for 14 years to long. I as a child knew it and quite honestly it was worse on me in the long run. I didn't see what a normal marriage was all about. I was 22 when my parents finally divorced BUT have a sister now that is 16 and her life has been MUCH easier and more balanced because both her parents are happy versus when I grew up.

I recently split up with the father of my son (we were never legally married but lived together and lived as we were for 5 years) and I can tell you my son is MUCH MUCH happier now that we are happier.

This is just my personal experience. I wish you the best.

By Eight_Kids on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 09:17 pm:

I think he's just really stressed out about a couple of things that have been going on, most of which are soon coming to a close. He has a tendancy to take a lot of his frustration out on me which I know is wrong but .... As far as my daughter, she hasn't been privy to much of this at all. Some days we don't say too much to each other, some days are fine. She doesn't see us argue. She is pretty much clueless.
We did have a long discussion the other night and I think we cleared A LOT of stuff up. I did find a lot of information on WV Divorce Law. Sometimes I think he throws this stuff out for a reaction...which he no longer gets....Things have been pretty good since our conversation. I just keep praying and going about my day.
Thanks for all the advice.
Beth