My dh was in the Army before I met him and he has decided that he wants to go into the reserves. He wants to talk to a recruiter and see if there are any positions around here for a chapplain's assistant. I have been so against him going into the reserves but I told him that if that is want he needs to do then I will support him in it. I know it sounds selfish, especially to all the people waiting for someone to come home, but I am so scared that he will be sent away. I don't know how I could live without him if something were to happen to him. I know chapplains assistant aren't really out on the front line fighting but it still doesn't seem safe to be anywhere near there. Anyway he says he will only do it if they can give him the position he wants and we don't have to move, so we'll just see what happens. I guess it seems silly but I am just nervous about the whole thing. maybe when I get a little more used to it I won't be so nervous. I mean it is only the reserves, not full enlisted. Any opinions or encouragement or even telling if I am bieng selfish would be great. Thanks for letting me get this out.

By Latonya on Friday, August 5, 2005 - 10:36 am:

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

By Crystal915 on Friday, August 5, 2005 - 10:53 am:

Your concerns are well founded, since we are experiencing a back door draft of our National Guard and Army Reserves. Many are being activated and sent to Iraq, or sent to other areas of the country to cover for the active guys who are away. I can't say for sure with Chaplain's assistants, but it is common for most AR and NG. Personally, I'm all for the military if it will be a benefit to the family, for example, if the civilian job market is not able to provide you with the opportunities you need, but with any enlistment you have to expect the possiblity of deployment. Why does he feel the urge to join? This is a decision you have to make together, because it can be very difficult on your marriage and family if one spouse is not ok with it. Good luck!

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, August 5, 2005 - 11:27 am:

I don't remember, Latonya - is your husband ordained? If not, he may request "chaplain's assistant", but might not get it.

By Latonya on Friday, August 5, 2005 - 02:47 pm:

No he isn't ordained. We are Buddhist and the organization we belong to does not have preists and things like that. We are just lay people learning and praying.
I am not sure how I feel about it at this point. part of me is praying that they say they can't use him and the other part knows that this is what he is good at and what he wants and I want to support him in that the way he has done for me. I just can't imagine him being gone and if he does this it is a real possibility. I know that this is something that I need to chant (pray) about and go form there. Thanks for the help.

By Crystal915 on Friday, August 5, 2005 - 03:12 pm:

Does your being Buddhist conflict with war? (I'm not being smart, I just haven't studied it enough to know) I actually had to ask DH if Buddhism was recognized by the Army, he said it is. (They can be fairly traditional, and ignore some religions) I saw in your profile he is a SAHD, how would the kids react to him being gone? How long has he been out? N had been out 2 years, and re-enlisted, but it was a serious hassle. Of course, he went back to Active Duty. Hugs, Latonya, this is a difficult decision, I hope you guys work it out!