DH and I are going to Bermuda in October and Timmy is going to be staying with my mom and dad. We talked alot about taking him with us but at 3 years old, I just don't think he'd really enjoy it. Til we got him settled in, it would be time to leave.

Anyways......

I'm not comfortable leaving the states without signing over guardianship to my parents. (just in case) I'm not sure how to go about it though. Can I simply write a letter or does it have to be something terribly official? Would you give just the dates of the cruise or should I leave it open-ended (again, just in case)?

We've got some time but he's my biggest concern while we're gone. I have no fear that my mom won't be able to handle anything that comes along. However, I'd like to make it as easy as possible for her.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 - 11:30 am:

I don't know about temporary guardianship - that is a fairly serious matter and I think you need a a lawyer for that. However, your parents should have a document allowing them to make health care decisions for Timmy. Your local hospital (the ER your parents would use - heaven forbid) should have a form for this purpose. The form should also work for your pediatrician.

Other than that, maybe a notarized letter, signed by both you and your dh and both of your parents, stating that your parents have temporary custody of Timmy while you are on vacation and specifically that you authorize them to make all medical decisions and other necessary decisions for Timmy on your behalf. The reason for having all the signature notarized is so that if someone gets really picky and wants to be sure the people presenting the document are really the grandparents who signed it, their notarized signatures are on it.

Remember - I am not a lawyer and am not "competent" to give legal advice. Nor have I done any legal secretary work in domestic or custody arenas. If you think this is not the only time you will be doing this, I strongly urge you to contact a lawyer about temporary custody arrangements.

By Brandy on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 - 11:33 am:

I'm not sure how my mom went about it when they took the kids to disney world but i know it didn't cost me anything for a notary public because i went to my bank.Now if the actual paper cost her anything i'm not sure of..I put the dates from June 1= July 31 or something like that but now that i think about it i should of left it open because she does have the boys sometimes on the weekends...we are only a little bit away from them but still..have fun = )

By Kaye on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 - 11:54 am:

I always write a note saying that so and so has my permission to seek any important medical care on these dates. I leave a copy of the insurance card.

By Dandjmom on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 - 12:04 pm:

To my knowledge a notorized letter should do it. Your right you just want to mention that in your absence your are giving your parents (there names) temporary gaurdianship of your son and the legal right to make any necessary medical decisions.

By Marcia on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 - 12:47 pm:

I am a specialized care foster mother. The kids are with me always, except for visits with their natural parents. We have letters that have been signed by the parents and social workers, stating that we can make medical decisions in emergencies. It also states that they will be notified as soon as possible. I am the one who takes them for all medical appointments and hospital visits, and I've never been questioned. I've never even had to show the paperwork, but have it just in case.

By Vicki on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 - 12:50 pm:

I have always given my MIL and FIL this when they have kept dd for us. I have it notorized and also leave them a copy of our insurance cards, doctors and dentist numbers, birth certificate and shot record. Figures that covers everything the could possibly need!!

http://www.legaldocs.com/docs/child_1.mv

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 - 04:52 pm:

When I sent my child to Kentucky and to the horse camp, I had to sign a thing that they could seek medical care. That is very important!

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, July 20, 2005 - 07:55 am:

I think the medical care is more what I'm looking for but got a bit carried away.

I'd just like to make sure I have my bases covered. In our family it seems that Murphy's law reigns supreme.

By Amecmom on Wednesday, July 20, 2005 - 08:07 am:

You should already have a will appointing a guardian for your child.
Ame

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, July 20, 2005 - 12:21 pm:

HHhhmmm...when I took care of my little brother the past 2 weeks, I just had them write something that said that I had medical permission and that he was under my care. They put that on the copy of his shot records. It worked just fine when I had to get him checked for strep. Otherwise, they will have to call you on vacation. (You DON'T have to have it notarized...just write it and sign it.)

The doctor that saw Austin wanted to know his shot records (including tetanus), his SS#, his parents' address, a copy of the medical card (front/back), any allergies, and DEFINITELY a signed sheet saying that he was under my care and that I had permission to make decisions on their behalf.

It also might help if you give your parents the phone number/address of his pediatrician in case the doctor's office needs to check any history.

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, July 20, 2005 - 01:11 pm:

You all will laugh but I've already started a list of numbers that I'll need to give to my parents for that week. Timmy will be staying here where his pediatrician is so they will have all of his records and I don't have to worry about that. I also thought about calling their office and letting them know that I'm out of town.

I need to leave daycare's number and make sure that they know that I am out of town. I've also got friends that have volunteered to be my mom's backup, just in case something happens.

I can't think of anything else right now, but if any of you do, let me know. Can you tell that I'm just a little bit nervous about leaving him behind?

A will..... this opens up all sorts of mortality issues with me. I guess I never want to think about something happening and my dh and I not being around for Timmy. We have talked about it and to my mom and dad and if anything happens they know that we want them to take care of Timmy. My sister knows that she would be our next choice. However, we've never discussed it with anyone else.

DH's family will be disappointed and probably hurt. And not that this is right or wrong but DH and I were raised differently. We both agree that we would want Timmy to be raised in the manner that I was. Money was tight but we always managed to never know it as kids. DH knows that he was poor. He can remember going without dinner and my heart breaks thinking that that could happen to Timmy.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, July 20, 2005 - 01:52 pm:

Amanda, if you and your husband are certain, then you need to meet with a lawyer and draw up wills that cover this situation. And also think about a financial trustee - the guardian could do this, or it could be a separate person whom you trust, who has financial expertise, and who would follow your principals on how money for your child should be spent. If you don't put these things in writing, legally, then you have no control.

By Lauram on Saturday, July 23, 2005 - 06:06 pm:

Ditto- you need a will.