My dh travels alot, he has been under alot of stress lately. He is 42 and has a strong family history of heart attacks. He takes lipitor for high cholestorol and already had a stress test about 7 years ago where the tests came out ok but showed that he may have had a "cardiac event" sometime in his past that went unnoticed, but the test was inconclusive.

Dh is out of town, I didnt get a call from him last night but since I was at a school board meeting and my cell phn isnt working I didnt think anything of it. I called him this am and got his voicemail and he called me about an hour later. He had been in the er til 3 am with chest pain up in Portland and didnt call because he didnt want to worry me. We already had an appt set up for next Wed because he has been having intermitant chest pain and pain in his left arm. But on a scale of 1-10 the pain was only a 2. All the preliminary tests from the ER came out fine. I totally lost it, all I could think of is that if it HAD been the "big one" I wouldnt have known until the sherriff had shown up at my door to notify me that he had died. Through tears I was able to tell him that we both know how fast these things can go bad and that I couldnt imagine having that stay with me for the rest of my life. To have the chance to tell him I loved him one last time but not being able to because he didnt want to worry me. I made him promise that he would never not call me again. So I forgave him over the phn told him I loved him and hung up. Then I threw up, and then got a horrible migraine which I have been able to take a few vicodine to calm down since my stomach has stopped rolling a few hours ago. He is still flying out to Oakland for a meeting this evening, his stress test isnt until Friday when he gets back to Portland. He has his vacation the last week of July and he told me that he is now trying to arrange to start his vacation monday and take 2 weeks off instead of one.

I am a mess. I am normally a great person to have in a crisis. I stay level headed, make good decisions, all of that. Right now I cant even think straight and I am so WORRIED. I feel like I cant trust him to tell me that he is in trouble and so I cant calm down.

And for all of you that are going to give me advice on making him do this or that, he is stubborn and I cant MAKE him do anything. He knows that this job is killing him, my saying it doesnt help, he just gets defensive and depressed. And since it probably is stress that is doing this I cant just yell at him either.

So prayers and good thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks for listening to me.

By Kay on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 05:04 pm:

You definitely have my support, encouragement and prayers. Men are definitely stubborn creatures.

BTW, I just got put on Lipitor a few months ago, and I'm 46. (they also found high blood pressure and early stage osteoporosis). I certainly don't mind sharing this with my DH - not sure he would return the favor, though. - same reason - not to worry me.

By Heaventree on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 05:07 pm:

Kristin, sorry you are going thru this, no advice, just hugs. My DH travels a lot as well and doesn't always call as often as I would like. He doesn't have any health problems that we are aware of, yet tends to put work before all else.

I hope that your DH will see the light and realize just how much you love and need him around.

By Kateg on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 05:18 pm:

So sorry you are going through this. You have lots of hugs from me. Hang in there.

By Kernkate on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 05:24 pm:

{{{Kristin}}}So sorry to hear about your DH and I bet you are worried as anyone would be.
My Dad had the same problems when he was in his early 40's (he's now 70)he went to doctor after doctor then finally to a heart hospital out of town and they could find nothing. Just relating it all to stress from his job, he was a police officer. Maybe its all stress as well for you DH.
Your are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 05:26 pm:

{{{Kristin}}} Deinitely hugs and prayers here. I so understand not being able to *make* them do anything...my DH has high cholsterol, and his dad had his FIRST heart attack at 42. (DH is 38.) You'd think the boy would go to the doctor, wouldn't you?! Think again. I try not to nag, but every once in a while I do a little preaching. As a matter of fact, I did just last night. I'm hoping it did some good. (It usually doesn't.) I'm glad your DH is okay. Maybe it scared some sense into him. {{{More hugs)))

By Tink on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 06:14 pm:

I hope that everything turns out alright and that your dh's tests all turn out fine. Maybe this will be the wake-up call that your dh needs. Many hugs and prayers and hopes that all ends up well. We're here for you anytime you need to blow off some steam or get some understanding.

By Jann on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 06:46 pm:

((((Kristin))))

By Amecmom on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 07:21 pm:

Hugs Kristin and prayers.
Ame

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 08:14 pm:

Many hugs, Kristen! My DH is stubborn too, so I can relate.

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 08:24 pm:

All I can tell you is get him to a cardiologist for a complete workup - this could very well PREVENT him from having a heart attack.

My DH had one 5 years ago at the age of 47. Both of his grandfathers passed away before age 50 of heart related conditions. My DH was a heavy smoker at the time, high cholesterol, which we were unaware of, and had been having intermittent chest pains, but decided to ignore it. His right coronary artery was something like 90% blocked. His heart attack resulted in an angioplasty with a stent implant.

The worst thing is, the actual heart attack COULD have been avoided if he had only seen a cardiologist when he first started having symptoms.

When he gets home, go with him if you have to, but do try to make him see a doc!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 08:26 pm:

(((((HUGS)))))

By Missmudd on Wednesday, July 13, 2005 - 01:38 pm:

Update on mrmudd. He is feeling better, will still go for the stress test on friday. I am feeling better too. It was funny, he told me that one of his coworkers had told him that his secretary was really upset and couldnt stop crying. He sounded amazed that everyone would be so worried. I felt like calling him a big dope, that people actually are concerned for him and that this should be a wakeup call that he needs to stop working like this. Hopefully the stress test on friday and then talking w/ his doc on wednesday, (dh respects his doc and the doc doesnt pull any punches) and taking a little time off will get him to realize what he is doing to his health and that he needs to stop being such a workaholic. Hopefully he will relax when he is off and wont end up on the cell phn.

Thanks for all the kind words, they helped alot.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, July 13, 2005 - 09:27 pm:

Glad he is feeling better. And I hope he does take the time to relax and reflect.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, July 14, 2005 - 12:03 am:

Will keep him in my prayers! How scary!