Does it make you feel stupid when you call somebody up, and they are sleeping? Let me rephrase, I dont mean late at night or early morning. I always tend to feel stupid if I call somebody and interupting something, sleep, a meal. Of course I dont know thes things ahead of time, but when I hang up I always feel like Ive done something wrong LOL.. I know so immautre of me to feel this way. I guess Im bringing it up because I just recently called a friend(somebody I dont talk to everyday, who lives in town)and the phone rang and rang and I was about to hang up but she picked up. This is 12:30 in the afternoon. I asked if she was sleeping and she groggily said yes, I apoligized and told her to call me when she had some free time.
Its not the first time Ive interupted something(not with her, with other people), and it always leaves me feeling stupid.
Anybody else feel that way?

By Kaye on Friday, July 1, 2005 - 12:56 pm:

Stupid isn't quite how I feel, but I do understand what you are saying. What I try to say now is when I call is " hi this is kim, do you have a minute to talk?" this way they get a chance to bow out if they need to.

By Mommmie on Friday, July 1, 2005 - 01:02 pm:

My mother is so afraid of interrupting something when she calls someone that she rarely makes an outbound call. When she does the first two words out of her mouth once they answered and said Hello are "I'm sorry" as in "I'm sorry are you busy" or "I'm sorry are you on the other line?" something like that. When she's at work she will do anything possible to not make an outbound call which is difficult when you are in sales. My mother has very very low self esteem.

So, while you are not as extreme as my mother (is anybody?) it still might be a self esteem issue. It's not like you are calling in the middle of the night! They didn't have to answer the phone. You haven't done anything wrong or improper. This is why we have phones.

By Emily7 on Friday, July 1, 2005 - 01:12 pm:

I don't think you should feel stupid or bad if you call in the middle of the day. I think we have all interrupted something with a call or had something interrupted.

By Happynerdmom on Friday, July 1, 2005 - 01:26 pm:

I know what you mean. I used to hate calling people for this reason, but I've changed a bit. I have learned (thanks to my dear husband) that you don't HAVE to pick up the phone if it rings! You can choose not to be interrupted, and so can they. If someone is taking a nap, having private time with their spouse, etc, and they really don't want to be interrupted, they can turn off the phone, or just not answer. This has been a very freeing revelation for me, LOL!

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, July 1, 2005 - 04:18 pm:

If someone calls me, the way you did your friend, and gets all apologetic, my response is "Look, you had no way of knowing I was (sleeping, in the shower, whatever) - don't worry about it."

And I agree with Michele (Happynerdmom), and her husband. I learned that lesson - my phone is my own and I will answer it if I feel like it - when I was bathing my then newborn first son and the phone rang. I picked up my son and wrapped him in a towel, and answered the phone - only to have a heavy breather on the other end!

It was a hard lesson to teach my mom, when she was taking care of my bed/wheelchair bound father. I finally persuaded her that the answering machine would pick it up and she could always call the person back - and if it was urgent she would hear the message from the person calling and could pick it up then. It took her a couple of months, but she finally got the idea.

By Karen~moderator on Saturday, July 2, 2005 - 12:16 pm:

I don't feel stupid.....I would think the *other* person would feel stupid for sleeping the day away! LOL Just kidding, but seriously, you have no way of knowing what the person you are calling is doing, so lighten up on yourself.

By Jann on Saturday, July 2, 2005 - 12:35 pm:

My b/sil ALWAYS answer their phone, regardless of what they are doing, and then have the nerve to say 'uh, well this really isn't a good time' and make you feel badly for calling. Uh, how could I know? Don't answer the phone if it's a bad time! LOL (and they do have an answering machine)