UGH! Neighbours!
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UGH! Neighbours!
I know I am supposed to "love thy neighbour" but it is so hard. How about I love thy house...hate thy neighbour.
We have neighbours on three sides (left, right and back). It started last year. The kids were out in the yard playing. I went to the window to call them in for dinner and our neighbour from the back was in OUR yard. When I yelled the kids names he put his hand up (you know what I mean, the I've got this kind of hand). I was stunned and didn't really know what it was about. When the kids came in I asked and they said he was telling them not to make so much noise. Now this was in the middle of the afternoon!
Later last summer when DH was working on the garage and the kids and I were out in the yard it happened a second time. They were playing in the sprinkler so, of course, they were making noise. He walks in to our yard saying, "Who's hurt?" Then he preceeds to walk past me and says to my kids, "What did I tell you about noise? You can only make noise like that if you are hurt." Needless to say, I absolutely LOST it and freaked on him. Our relationship has been strained since.
We have been getting along fine lately. Not friends by any stretch of the imagination but civil to one another.
Then comes yesterday...I'm out mowing the grass and he starts cutting his grass as soon as I did. He cuts the grass behind the garage and I cut the grass by his raspberry bushes. Now, I have cut the grass here for two years now and he has never said anything before. I was also under the understanding that we were responsible for the 5 ft of space behind our property line. I THOUGHT that was the town easement. Since this arguement I have found out that I may have misunderstood and that the town easement was included in our property line. Anyway, he comes over to me and NASTLY says, "I don't want you cutting there anymore." I said that I thought I was responsible for the easement behind our house and he goes on to say that he has been looking after the easement since 1983 and will continue to do so. Several times during the arguement he says, "I don't want to be an a**, but then continues to act like one.
I am so upset. I didn't sleep at all last night. I feel uncomfortable in my own backyard. I just don't know what will set him off next.
What am I going to do? Again, after looking over one of the other neighbours property layout, it does seem as though I wasn't actually cutting on our property but it's not actually HIS property either. It was the town easement but it looks like it was the town easement on his side, rather than mine. It's the WAY he said it to me. It put me on the defensive immediately.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I don't know if it'd be possible for you to do, but there's an old saying--"Good fences make good neighbors." Can you put a fence up? A nice, big, tall 6' privacy fence??? That's what we have and it's great. Sorry I don't have any other advise, but I can offer a hug. Good luck. {{{{{Paula}}}}}
Ditto Cat. I was thinking the same thing.
Good luck sweetie.
{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
(((((Paula)))) I totally understand neighbor trouble.
Ditto Cat, I like my neighbours they are very nice people, but I could not live beside them without a very, very (did I say very) tall fence.
I agree with the fence thing, although with the cost of fences, I can certainly understand if that is not an option for you right now.
That said, though, IMO the guy has a lot of nerve! I think I'd have trouble holding my tongue with him over the *noise* in the middle of the afternoon. Kids make noise when they play, period. And I wouldn't consider telling my kids they had to play quietly OUTSIDE in the middle of the day.
Yes, a fence would be very expensive and would help some but I would still feel uncomfortable on my deck since it looks directly in to his back yard and we couldn't put a high enough fence for that.
I was telling a friend of mine about it and she said, "Well, he is a nice guy most times but he certainly has his days." Then she said, "Just buy him some planters peanuts as a peace offering." In a way she is right, since I don't think I was supposed to be mowing there but this has gone on for a year now and he is just a grumpy old fart.
I'm so upset I'm thinking of selling our home. Here is one I am thinking about...no neighbours!
http://www.royallepage.ca/ListingSearch/ListingPhotos.aspx?ListingID=934647&RLPListingNum=1329874
Regarding the property in the above house. I ABSOLUTELY love the property. It has 8 acres of property, lots of mature trees, established vegetable garden (I wonder if I could still plant it for this year), an older shed with electricity that DH could fix up and use as a woodworking area.
The downsides:
1. It adds another 13km to my already 1 hour drive to work
2. The house does not have a basement, just a crawl space
3. The cupboards are not as nice as the ones we have now.
Okay, the latest episode.
He rings my doorbell today with papers from the town in hand b/c he wants to show me something. As I suspected, what I was mowing was actually on his portion of the town easement. So, it is not actually his property but is closer to his than it it to mine.
He had put this UGLY metal stick up so I wouldn't mow near his saskatoon bush. I moved the post to mow around them, thinking I was doing him a favor. I've done this every time I mowed this year and it has not been a problem. I always put it back up when I was done. Yesterday he came out b4 I had a chance to put it back up. He actually accused me of shaking his saskatoon bush (or my kids...I'm not sure who he was implying had done it) to knock off the berries. The man is off his rocker!
As soon as he came to the door I apologized for yesterday saying that when he spoke like that to me it immediately put me on the defensive. Not once during our conversation did he apologized for his behavior. He went on and on AGAIN about his stupid bushes. I explained it was all in how he approached me and his explanation was if he has a problem he will make sure someone knows about it. I tried to explain that you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar but he wasn't interested.
Then he goes on to tell me I cut my grass wrong. The neighbour two houses down cuts his grass as low as mine and his looks like a carpet, it's beautiful. The grumpy neighbour tells me that this guy is doing it wrong also. This other neighbour used to be a greens superintentent for a golf course...I think he knows what he is doing.
The grumpy neighbour doesn't like fences and when I mentioned that it is something we are considering he said we don't need to do that. I'm worried that the kids might get too close to his bushes and he might freak on them.
I'm so stressed. I've been in tears since this conversation. I burnt supper while outside having him explain things to me. My husband is away. I start a new job tomorrow and need to commute an hour to get to it and be there by 8:15. I'm about ready to blow.
Yeah,no major neighbour incidents today 
HI paula
You are having quite the time with your neihbour eh?
Well I would put a fence up at all the required, heights and exactley on the property line. Can you post a picture of your back yard?
I work with older people and they can get snarky at times, so what I do is act like I really really need their help and I would not know what to do if they were not thier, I have had much success with going this route, I find the most miserable people are puddy in your hands, they just want to be needed, ( even if you just want to throttle him! lol. Try it you might be suprised. If you could post a picture of your yard that could help us in vision it better, hope it gets better for you
I agree a fence would be best. It was one of the best things we did when we had neighbor issues. If you can't do a wooden fence, plant a living fence, hemlocks or arborvitaes grow big and make a great privacy screen.
I don't know about where you live, but where I live, the neighbors have no say in how you cut your grass, or if you put a fence up, as long as the fence is approved by the local codes, etc.
This guy sounds like a psycho to me. LOL Personally, I wouldn't play mind games with him to try and make him friendlier, I'd stay as far away from him as I could.
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