My next door neighbor (we share a carport and front porch, so it's almost like a duplex) is nice, but I'm having trouble with her boys. She has 3 kids, a 7 y/o, a 6 y/o, and a 3 month old baby, and the 2 older boys are outside all day every day. Since we moved in they have been driving me CRAZY!! They ring my doorbell all the time to see if my kids can come out, or if I'll bring the chinchilla outside for them to see, or just to see what we're doing. Sometimes they start ringing the doorbell as soon as we wake up, and every time I go outside to smoke they ask me 1,000 questions, one of them always being "Can the kids come outside?" They are nice little boys, but they are too old to really play with my kids, and my kids are too young to play outside alone, so telling them "Not right now" all the time is wearing on my last nerve. I don't want to be mean or anything, I'm just busy with the kids and the house, I don't have time to keep answering them all day long. It's also a bit annoying that every time we sit down to dinner, or start to watch a movie, the bell rings. They gave Nate a hard time yesterday because he wouldn't climb up on their roof in the rain (using the trash can) to get their ball. It's always something, and we've been here less than 2 weeks! When I do tell them no, it's always followed by a bunch of "Well, why?!" things. For example, the chinchilla... I brought her out so they could see her, little kids are always really amused by her. They ask me over and over why I can't set her down to play on the porch, and no matter how many times I tell them she will get away. Then they have started asking me to bring her cage outside so they can watch her. I've told them it's too warm for her to stay outside very long, it can kill her, but they persist. Ugh! Their dad is in Iraq, and mom is inside all day with the baby, I've only talked to her a couple times, so I don't even know how to broach this topic with her. I totally don't mean to sound miserable and cranky about this, but I cannot entertain them all day long! I don't mind letting the kids play with them occasionally, but there needs to be boundaries. Any suggestions? Thanks!!

By Kaye on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 05:36 pm:

I think in your most upbeat positive voice you need to say "boys, it is really nice having play mates for the twins, BUT they are still very young, just like your baby sister and they don't get to play that much. How about we make an agreement that you only ask once (or twice) a day to play. If I say no, it is because they are just babies and that how it has to be". If that gets you no where, it is time to mention it to the mom...

in the same sweet voice, your boys are so sweet, they want to play with my kids all the time. But you know how it is with little ones, it is a bit much. Could you talk to them about only ringing our doorbell once a day. They go to bed early at 7 and we don't really get going until 10 am. I would really appreciate it, you know how hard it can be with little ones, and gosh I have two and they drive me crazy when we get off our schedule.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 06:02 pm:

Thanks Kaye! It's so hard for me, because I know their mom is under a ton of stress, and we're new here, not to mention I really don't know how to handle school age children. LOL, I haven't quite gotten to that stage yet!!

By Claire on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 06:04 pm:

You should make a little red light and green light thing to hang on your doorknob - green for when they are able to come over and red for when it's not a good time. They are old enough to understand and I think it's nice enough for the mom not to get upset.
HTH

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 06:16 pm:

Claire! Hey stranger, nice to see you!

Ditto Kaye & Claire. I especially like Claire's idea with the red light/green light thing. Or hang a smiley face on your front door when/if it's a good time for them to come over. Explain it to them. They're old enough to understand. My kids are 6 & 8 (almost 7 & 9) and they do NOT go over to neighbors' houses uninvited. They've been taught it's not cool to do.

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 06:50 pm:

I like Claire's idea! Wish *I* had thought of something like that years ago!

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 08:55 pm:

Also...maybe you can help them find some other kids in the area that are their age? With mother's approval, of course.
The red light, green light should work though. You could even set up a once a week time where you can show them how to bake cookies or something. Seems like they are starving for interaction/attention.
I bet you wish it would rain, huh?

By Melanie on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 08:58 pm:

Wow, what a great idea, Claire! You are good!

By Annie2 on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 09:24 pm:

We had a similar problem with some neighborhood kids. At the first sign of day light they would be ringing the door. I politely told them that if our garage door was down, my kids could NOT play and the do not come to the front door. I also mentioned it to the parents when I saw them.

I agree that the green light is a great way to start. They are old enough to understand. If they do not get it then I would tell the mom. They are not your kids to have to entertain and mess up your schedule, as well.

Good luck!

By Kaye on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 10:14 pm:

Annie too funny. We had some neighbors in ohio who mentioned that to me. I had never heard of the garage open/closed thing. We leave ours closed all the time, unless we are pulling out.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 11:42 pm:

I have had the same issues. Mine is teen boys (12 thru 15) wanting to hang out with my very cute 8 year old. So not cool. I just came right out the other day and talked to them about it. Like, Exactly what do you have in common with my 8 year old? do you think you like the same things (music, movies etc)?? The girls to big guys like you are borring. And I am sure that you don't have much else to do but I am going to have to ask you not to come around and just "hang out". I then gave them instances that it would be okay to be out here, LIKE when DH and/ or Dill are in the yard (seeings that these boys are Dills age after all JESH!!) Anyway. Just tell them that the kids are two little to play with them the way they play and that you need to ask them to stop coming over so often. AND this is very very typical and you better get use to it. The older they get the more kids they drag home... LOL The joys of mother hood.