I was reading on the Disney board(family board ), and there was a question that sparked interest.
Have you taken vacations, whether it be a full vacation or just a weekend/overnight without the kids?
If not, will you in the future?
Ive always found this an interesting question,and always thought I was the oddball here. There were about 30 something responses, the majority of them said they would not go on vacation without the kids, I think 4 or 5 said they have.
We have been married 11 yrs and have not gone on vacation with out the kids. I just couldnt imagine leaving them. I know Im a sap. Probably the fact that we have no family here. My parents are older 71,73, and wouldnt be able to handle all 3 kids. My husbands family would never do it. So really, its never been an option for us and nothing I ever think about .
My thoughts are, my kids will be grown up and moved out before I know it, and then I will have a chance to travel alone with my husband.
Where do you all stand on this issue?

By Tonya on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:17 pm:

We have gone before no longer than 2 days and are going again in June and October. In June we are leaving Friday morning to go to the races and Timmy is joining us Sunday morning for the rest of the weekend. And in October we are leaving on a Thursday morning and going to be gone until Sunday afternoon. The kids will be staying at our home with my sister in June and at my grandparents in October.

Before this June we haven't gone anywhere really without the kids since a few years ago and that was again for 2 days unless you count like going out for the day and the sitter keeping them.

I don't see anything wrong with it if you trust whomever has your kids and I think it is healthy for parents to get away without kids every once in a while if they have the chance. Parents need grownup time too.

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:17 pm:

We went on a 4 day cruise without kids when they were toddlers. NEVER again! I just like vacationing with my kids. The memories we create are things I hope they look back on when they are grown. My hubby and I agree on this. All vacations are with the kids. We do not hire baby-sitters either so being with the kids is a high priority with us any way.

By Melanie on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:21 pm:

Dh and I are going to Hawaii for five days this summer without the kids to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. We are flying my parents out here to stay with the kids. We have gone away for a couple of weekends through the years but this is the first real vacation we are taking without them. They have always stayed with grandparents while we are away.

By Lorebunde on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:41 pm:

We also do not go anywhere w/o the kids (14, 8)
I mention it now and then, half-kidding, to my husband but he said he would never leave them.
Its true, pretty soon my 14 yr old will probably not want to go(?) so I enjoy it now. I know people that it seems that can't wait to get away from their kids!

By Truestori on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 02:10 pm:

My husband and I went for two nights last year to Catalina Island. It was very nice but I really missed them. My mom is coming out in June and we were thinking of taking a two day trip without the children, but everyone might end up coming along..LOL

By Jann on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 02:22 pm:

Yes, my husband and I have traveled quite a bit without our kids. Our relationship came first, and needs to be nutured, not put on the back burner till the kids grow up.

By Vicki on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 02:36 pm:

Yes we have gone on trips with out dd. I think the longest was 4 days. And yes, we will do it again in the future!! It is so healthy for our relationship to do that sometimes. I will also say that we still take a "family" vacation too. If we could only do one trip a year, it would include her. But as long as we can afford to go once in awhile alone, we will do it!!!!

By Mommyof4 on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 02:49 pm:

We have went on trips several times over the last few years. Dh is a sales rep and his company has sales incentive trips every 18 months or so. We have gone to Ireland for 7 days, Germany/Austria/Switzerland 8 days, Aruba 5 days, San Deigo 5 days, a couple of weekend trips to Las Vegas, a 4 day cruise for my 30th birthday and of course there was the 14 day trip to China last summer to bring our son home. The girls have either stayed with family...both sets of Grandparents and 5 sets of Aunts and Uncles all live within 30 mintues of us OR they have stayed with one of my very good friends. We do take a vacation every year WITH the kids as well.

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 02:50 pm:

Like Vicki, we also go on a family vacation every year, (at spring break) but I also cherish the vacations that DH and I take alone!(Our longest vacation w/o the kids was a 7-day cruise.) Family vacations are great, but I think it's also important to get away with your spouse every once in while and feel young, sexy, and in love. Well, at least in love, LOL!) IMO, it's healthy to get away from the kids sometimes...It might sound weird, but I love the feeling of actually missing them, and looking forward to seeing them.

By Missmudd on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 02:51 pm:

Have gone on 1 overnight away since our honeymoon. Our good friends gave us a gift certificate for an overnight at a neat little cabin. We would probably do more except that we have 4 and getting someone to watch the hordes is very difficult. Dh travels all the time, so if we leave to go do something minus the kids he feels like he is cheating them and himself time with the guys.

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 03:36 pm:

Dd is only 11mths and we haven't yet, but are making plans to take a week-long vacation (like the old days, LOL)one year from now. Sure we will miss her, but I agree with Jann that it's sooo important to have that time together. Especially if it's something you did before kids, like we did. We love to travel and look forward to lots of *family* vacations once she is a little older, but there will still be at least one vacation a year for just the two of us.
The only thing we HAVE put on the backburner is our travel overseas. We did that before dd came along and we wouldn't feel comfortable a)being quite that far away or b)doing it on one income. Those are the trips (unless she comes with us) that we will take when she is a quite a bit older or on her own.

By Frasersmama on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 03:48 pm:

DH and I took a vacation to Costa Rica for 10 days without DD (14 months). It was hard missing her, an actual physical ache, but it was really nice to have 10 days to ourselves without any responsibility. DH and I are big on travelling and had always wanted to go to Costa Rica and didn't feel it was an appropriate place to take a toddler. Plus, we have begun TTC and figured we better go while we had the chance.

By Rayanne on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 04:06 pm:

We haven't taken a vacation without Rylee. We haven't even taken a vacation with her. We might be going to Georgia in October, but are not 100% sure yet. If we do go there, we are taking Rylee.

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 04:43 pm:

DH and I have gone away on a few long weekends without the kids but wouldn't want to do it any longer than that. There are very few people who we trust to baby-sit and we don't want to burden anyone with our kids for more than a few days.

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 04:47 pm:

We have lots of family nearby. There's no way I would go without family as babysitters. If we didn't have family near, she would just go everywhere with us and we'd never get a vacation.

By Eve on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 05:04 pm:

No, we've never vacationed without DD. We actually enjoy doing things as a family. I am not opposed to taking a short trip just DH and I though. I would love to get away for some alone time, but it's difficult to make that happen. My Mom usually takes DD overnight, but she lives 2 1/5 hours away. It's always just been too much trouble. Maybe it's time to plan something!

By Tunnia on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 05:15 pm:

Yes, every couple of years we will go away for about 4 days without the children (usually for our anniversary). We started doing that when our oldest was two years old. I get so caught up in being "Mommy" that I need a little time once in a while to just be me. I do miss our dks, but I feel it is really good for the relationship for me and dh to connect again as a couple and our dks love being spoiled by their grandparents while we are away. When we go on a regular vacation we take our children with us.

By Bellajoe on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 05:28 pm:

I would love to go away for a weekend without the kids! We have not done that yet though. It would be nice to go up to Niagara Falls for the weekend.

I am hoping that when they are older my dh and I can go to Hawaii for a week. He says that if we go to Hawaii, we are bringing the kids. I say no, because it is supposed to be a romantic vacation (at least to me it is ). Oh well, wishful thinking. We won't be going there for a really long time anyways. Gotta save up that money!

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 05:31 pm:

Eve, We'd be happy to take Syd any time.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 05:32 pm:

We have been married for 17 years and really haven't gone anywhere by ourselves, at least for more than a night or two.

By Debbie on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 05:37 pm:

Yes! Dh and I have taken long weekend trips without our dks. My parents are always more then willing to take them. We always take a family vacation each year. But, dh and I enjoy our alone time together also. My dks love spending time with my parents and dh and I trust them completley, so it is a win, win for everyone!

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 06:58 pm:

We would never go on a vacation without our kids. No desire to. I've seen in some of my magazines where the parents only take vacations without the children. They said vacations are for them.

Our dd was a year and a half when dh and I got married, and we went on our honeymoon to Gatlinburg, TN, about 2 1/2 hours away from home, for 2 nights. The entire time, we were thinking about what she would like, and we ended up leaving Monday morning, instead of evening as planned, to come home. We couldn't wait to take the trip with her because we had seen so many things she would have enjoyed.

I couldn't imagine leaving the kids home for a vacation. Our biggest thrill is seeing the kids' enjoyment, especially at experiencing something new.

My husband and I had to make too many two and three night trips alone to different hospitals during the three years I was so sick. We were forced to leave the kids then, and we were all miserable, so I guess we just don't want to do it when we have a choice.

Not to say I wouldn't enjoy having a one or two night visit without the kids, but both of my children hate staying away from home, even though my parents live next door, so we just don't force them.

Sooner than we would like, the kids will be grown up and we will be looking back on these memories. At least we'll have plenty of our family adventures.

By Unschoolmom on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 07:54 pm:

I haven't gone anywhere without the kids for more than an evening really. We have left DH alone for several days while we visited my parents but that's about it. It would feel weird to take a vacation without them.

I too think this is time for the kids. It's not as if my DH and I are leading different lives and we'll look at each other in 15 years and not know each other. We share interests and time right now and nurture our relationship now. We just happen to include the kids in that as well.

By My2girlygirls on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 07:59 pm:

Dh and I took a 10 day trip to England and Scotland last summer. Our kids are almost 10 and 7. The oldest one was in summer sleep-over camp for the first 5 days we were gone and then went to DH's moms' house for the remainder. Younger one was at a friends' house and in Zoo camp with her friend during the day for the first 5 days and then at my Mom's the remainder. We had a great time, I did miss them, but I knew they were in good hands and having a great time. I don't think it's a bad thing to take trips without your kids as long as you do plenty with them also. We take day trips and weekend trips to DC and stuff quite often. So, I don't feel guilty.

By Children03 on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 08:10 pm:

We have taken one cruise trip without Emma and Olivia before and that was for 5 nights. We took one trip last year and only left Morgan with her grandparents because she was too little to go on that trip. All of our other trips have included our children, we just got back from Florida. It is nice having a small break without your kids, but for me I missed them so bad when they were not there!

Rayanne, if you come to Georgia, what part are you going to visit?

By Rayanne on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 09:30 pm:

I'm not sure yet. My friend's Mom's Boss has a cabin that we can use for FREE, but I don't know where it is exactly.

By Kaye on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 10:24 am:

Yes I have and hope to again.

I never thought I would, but it is nice.

When dd was 15 months old we had planned a trip to alaska. We planned it when she wasn't even a year, we didn't buy her a seat. Well comes time for our trip, I am now 7 months pg, our flights had been changed, we now had a 10 hour layover in seattle, 3 plane changes, not a fun idea for pg me, much less holding a baby in my lap. But we were going. My parents called and said, let us keep her, we will come to your house, we want to do this. After much thought we said okay. Well it was hard, I missed her, but we were able to do things we couldn't of done with a toddler. So it was nice not to have her with us. But most importantly, this was time that was so IMPORTANT to my parents. They bonded with her in a whole new way, and her to them. My mom died 2 years later (my dd was 2 1/2) she still remembers this time with her granny. I can't imagine now, not giving them that opportunity.

So it was good, but fast forward a few years. We are moving from tx to ohio, have to house hunt, flying, looking at 50-70 house in 3 days. We again leave the kid with dad (and new wife). It was really a necessity, not a luxury. I had a miserable trip, but the kids were fine. Did the same thing when we were moving back.

The other big vacation we have taken was to Vegas for our 10th anniversary. It was an amazing trip and really great to reconnect with mmy hubby. We have a date night now and again, but it really took 2 -3 days for us to talk about us and not so much about the kids! That trip was a real blessing to our marriage.

So yes I would leave my kids, but not often. I think there are some important notes about it. First you have to have family (or friends like family) for this to work. It is as good for the kids as it is for you. You have to pick a non kid place. I can't imagine going to disney without the kids. Also it just really depends on their ages, I wouldn't leave my babies again, but my little guy was 4 when we left him, it was good. We also went during the school year, so it was easier on my dad and the kids to have their normal schedule.

I think it is an important character building time for kids to stay away from mom and dad. Some people do this via camps and friends. But if I am willing to let my kid sleep over with a friend, why not with family, and all of them so hubby and I can have a nice night?

It is important to your marriage to spend quality time together, this doesn't have to be a vacation, but I will say that a full night away from the kids is amazing. And for me it takes a couple of days to stop being mom and start being wife.

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, June 2, 2005 - 05:39 am:

Only did it once with my X, have done it with my new hubby, but then, my kids were already teens when we married.

That said, I think vacations/weekends/overnights without kids are extremely beneficial to a marriage! Gives you time to reconnect - and we all know how scarce *alone* time can be when you have a house full of young kids!

AND - there is absolutely NO reason to feel guilty for taking that time - after all, your marriage is the foundation your family is built on! So it really benefits the entire family. Yes, family vacations are important and fun and necessary for family fun and bonding, but so is nurturing YOUR relationship, as was mentioned above.

By Annie2 on Thursday, June 2, 2005 - 09:23 pm:

We go away for a night or two each year for our wedding anniversary. Not far, just downtown to a hotel or maybe a casino town about an hour away.

I also arrange for the kids to go on sleepovers on the same nights so dh and I have overnight/morning couple time every couple of months.

We have no family here so I do rely on the kids' friends' parents to help out. I found out that if I said " dh and I want to have a night to ourselves, such and such a night, would you be willing to watch so and so? We'll do the same for you on your night's choice". It works like a dream! Most parents on in the same boat.

Go for a night, to start. You will sooo enjoy yourself.

By Pamt on Thursday, June 2, 2005 - 10:26 pm:

We absolutely vacation without our kids...at least one weekend a year if not a few long weekends and/or a week. Our marriage is first priority. We don't worry about the kids missing out because they would gripe and complain about all of the walking or the horrible food in England or "why do we just stay in the cabin" during our romantic getaways in the Ozarks. We take grown-up friendly vacations for us and we take an annual vacation or two with the kids. DH and I are going on a mission trip to Nicaragua July 28-Aug 3 and then we'll be gone 7 days for our trip to NYC and Ohio Amish country on sabbatical in September. Can't wait!! The kids have a blast too. They'll be spending fun time with my sister, her DH, and my 2 nieces during the Nicaragua trip. They really enjoy hanging out with their cousins, aunt, and uncle, plus my BIL is the director of a cool historical park and they have fun going out there. In September they will alternate between grandparents (both sets of grandparents live in the same city 3 hours away, both have pools, boats, go fishing, to the beach, etc.). It's a great way for them to spend quality time with the extended family and win-win for everyone. As a matter of fact, my 2 nieces are with us for 7-10 days right now. My sis and BIL are taking a group of high school students to Europe (sis is a history teacher and takes a group every other year). Since my nieces are 13 and 16 and DH is a youth minister we have hooked them up with some friends. One went out for coffee with a group of girls last night and they each have plans for movies and trips to the mall this weekend with newfound friends. I'm teaching them how to quilt, they are helping me out by watching the boys on the days I work, and we are watching chick flicks together. We'll probably go to the local water park this weekend and canoeing on Saturday. Fun stuff!

I'm not trying to stir the pot (really!), but I sometimes get a vibe on these sorts of posts which we've had in the past that "bad" parents hire babysitters, vacation without children, etc. and "good" parents don't. I love my children and we have a GREAT time vacationing together. I have really fun enjoyable kids and love spending extended amounts of time with them. Just because I also like to be alone with my husband doesn't mean that I don't enjoy family time or that my children are not a priority. Just wanted to clarify that since those issues have been brought up a few times. And...I don't have family nearby either. We have pretty much lived at least 12 hours from one set of parents our entire married life and currently 3 hours from the closest relatives, but we make it work.

By Eve on Friday, June 3, 2005 - 09:30 am:

That's a great way of putting it Pam. No, I don't think anyone is a "bad" parent for hiring a babysitter. I personally wish I had one! LOL!