How involved should I get? (long...)
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How involved should I get? (long...)
A little history first... I used to babysit a little girl who is two months older than my DS, her grandmother had custody of her when our arrangement started. I came to love the girl and treat her as my own, I love this child... Mom is really unstable, has been the whole time I've known her/them. I stopped watching "C" over two years ago but they still live in our apartments and I still see her on occasion. Recently mom got remarried and had a little boy (he is 7 wks old) and issues have arose again and she is unstable.
Tonight I come home from shopping to hear mother and grandmother screaming at each other and "C" crying hysterically. Our maintence man was able to get "c" out of harms way, both mom and grandma were happy to see me there as a witness... Apparently mom says that grandma came and took "C" without consent or permission, mom was out all day running the roads without either child with friends and new dad (who has figured out how mom is and is really in a position now because he isn't "C"'s dad, we don't know who is...) is left with the kids. Also in the talking I find out that mom was released just this past Monday from a pcsyhic ward for trying to kill herself and has been diagnosed bipolar, personality disorder, PPD, and one other thing I can't remember but refuses to take any medication.
Anyways things got ugly and the police were called (never showed up, we were out there for almost an hour and a half) and mom ended up leaving with "C" after a battle and almost running grandma over with her truck. "C" was screaming in the truck and she was taken without a carseat and was hysterical crying for her "meemee". Once in the time we were all there the mom told "C" that meemee was going to jail and "C" told her she should apologize to meemee and her response was she's a (*(*&*&_( and I'm not sorry. "C" is FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLD!!!!!!!
So grandma and I just sat outside talking for a while about the things that have happened over the past 4 or 5 months since we'd talked and I'm just besides my self with worry for "C". The new baby has his dad who will end up with him if he fights it and I'm sure he is ready to from what was said, but "C" has nooone.  Grandma is ready to once again file for full custody and honestly with the diagnosis mom just got and her trying to commit succide she can get it.
I told grandma tonight that I hoped she knows I'll do what I can to help "C" as long as it doesnt affect MY child's well being. Mom scares me honestly she is a violent person at times... Was that a right thing to do? I told her I would be movning in a month and after that she can count on my help... SHould I have said that? Mom won't know where I live then...
I only want what's best for "C" and she's been taking care of the baby and emotionally and mentally abused now for years by all the mess that's went on in her life.
Sometimes I wish I'd never gotten involved in this whole mess, but you can't turn back time. I just want what's best for "C"... Anyone have any thoughts, experience with this type of things?
Thanks for reading.
Wow Christy what a horrible situation. I think that I would have said the same thing you did. I would want to do everything I could to make sure the child was okay. Did the cops ever show up?
I feel so bad for both these little children, I hope that the Grandmother either gets custody or the mom gets the help she needs.
I would certainly call the child protection agency if they haven't already been called. If I understand how these agencies work, they should protect your identity. And if it were me, I'd be on the police chief's office complaining loud and long that the police didn't come in an hour and half - there was a child at risk, for heaven's sake. This woman is clearly a danger to others, especially the child, and the police should be made aware of that.
And, if it were me, I would get involved. I think your caution of not getting involved until after you move is wise, given this woman's highly unstable condition - after all, she almost ran grandma over. I applaud you for your concern for this poor little girl.
I'm curious, how did custody get back to mom, after grandma had custody?
Hugs Christy - what a scary situation. Ditto Emily and Ginny. I'm not only worried for little "C", but the newborn. Call CPS and the police again.
Domestic situations are never easy. I really admire your courage and willingness to help.
Ame
Call CPS immediately!
Emily - the cops never showed up, I'm going to see what I can do about this after I make sure today that they never showed up at her house.
Ginny - from what I understand "mom" had been doing better but after the baby was born it's been a fast downhill spiral. "C" has been taking care of the baby they think and she is the one who found her mom when she tried to kill herself.
Amecmom - the baby will be fine, apparently the new husband is older than "mom" and is really responsible and has parents that are willing to help him with the baby, "C" only has her grandma because who knows who her father is? (it was found out in January that the dad that has been helping support her and visiting her isn't her biological dad). Thankfully this guy is a good one because I don't think grandma could handle two and especially an infant.
Grandma is going to come visit me today when I get to work and i'm going to ask her about the police and what she wants me to do. CPS and the courts have been involved for three years now but they need to know about this latest incident.
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