I need some major advice please. Rich has always loved working on race cars. He worked for ARCA for 2 yrs while we were apart and for the NASCAR Busch series for 1 yr then we got back together and he stayed home and got a job. We he was talking to a friend last night that he knows through NASCAR and the friend told him anytime come on down he will have a job for him. He was so excited he wants to do this so bad but in the long run that would mean moving away from my family (Michigan to North Carolina) or him commuting from home being gone 3-5 days a week. If he were to do this I could be a stay at home mom after just a year of him working. But I don't know. He has always dreamed of doing this FT and I know there are allot of people who do this for a living and they have families so it can work but i am torn.

I am so close to my family I just don't know. What do you suggest. I want to say wait 6 months and let us get to the point where we can survive on my pay and go for it. (it would take a month for him to get settled into this new job and start getting a normal check.) And then if it doesn't work doing the long distance thing then he can come back home and get a job. But the job he has now he has had for 4 yrs and he is established there if he leaves it who is to say he will get hired back if need be.

I am scared and just don't know what to do. Please give me your advise!

By Rayanne on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 09:17 am:

I really don't know. If it was my DH and he was offered this position, I would let him do it, because he LOVES NASCAR. If your DH doesn't want it, see if mine can take it...LOL. Anyways, no one can really tell you what to do here. This is really up to the two of you, and if you are willing to make these sacrafices. Good luck.

By Vicki on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 09:32 am:

I agree that no one can really tell you what you should do. But I also think that a once in a lifetime dream job is not something to just blow off. If I were in your shoes, I would encourage dh to go for it. Chances like that are few and far between. Not tons of people in the world who truely LOVE their jobs.

By Jann on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 09:38 am:

To have the opportunity to do something you have always dreamed of is quite a gift. Yes, it would be hard to move away from your family, but it's not like you not ever see them again. Having a happy husband does wonders for a marriage!

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 09:55 am:

Boy, there's nothing like a man who is doing his dream job!!!
Do what you need to do to save up enough money and make sure the job and income is legit, and then GO FOR IT.
You'll survive without family...trust me. And, you'll meet a whole new world. How exciting!!

AND...being to be at home with the kids will mean more to you than anything....

By Melanie on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 10:03 am:

You need to do what is best for your family. By that I mean you, Rich and the kids. It's nice to have extended family close, but it's even more important to have a happy husband and that children live with their dad-not see him only when he visits. And to have the opportunity to become a SAHM? Wow.

Dh and I used to live near my family. He worked full time and I worked part time nights and weekends to make ends meet. An opportunity came along which meant we would have to move clear across the country. Doing so meant I could become a SAHM. We went for it. It was one of the best decision we ever made.

I talk to my parents almost every day. They visit us a couple of times each year and we plan vacations together. It's hard to not have them here for the day to day stuff, I'll admit, but we manage.

It sounds like Rich made some sacrifices when you reunited. What do you think it will mean to him if you make sacrifices now for him?

By Kaye on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 11:36 am:

Some questions I would have to answer first:

How is your relationship? Do you feel like you are truely happy with him and this will last forever? Is he spending time with you, or do you struggle getting him away from his guy friends?

If he takes the dream job, he will be happier, but it will also give him lots of friends, could this be an issue?

I think if you are committed to your marriage it is your responsiblity to follow him. He should be the head of the household...but only if he is acting like it now would I consider it. If you are having to run things and keep him in line now, moving away from your support (and your options), things will only get worse.

As far as living away from family. I have done it, you get used to it. It really puts friends in a whole different light.

By Palmbchprincess on Thursday, May 26, 2005 - 12:46 pm:

I live far from my family, and while it does bite sometimes, it isn't that bad. If this is something Rich would really like to do, I say go for it. After all, it's an opportunity most people would kill for, and the kids would get a SAHM out of the deal.