Some of you may remember me talking about my son possibly having add and being held back in the first grade. Well we have decided to hold him back. I finally got dh to see the big picture and he is taking it better. I would rather do this for now then put my son on meds for add. If it still seems like next year he is struggling with his concentration then we will have to revisit the idea. My son was reluctant about it at first but now he seems okay with it. He wanted to know if it would help him understand his math better. So I think he realizes he has some problems. He was telling his friend the other day that he just needed more time to learn some stuff. I guess he has been listening.

His speech is still not up to par either and I think in second grade this would really become more of an issue. They also found out towards the last semester that he has issues with phonemic awareness. I think now that there is more work concentrating on that he will have an easier time with sounding out words for reading.

The only issue I really have with it is that he will repeat with the same teacher. There were things that I did not like about her. She is not a terrible teacher just can't quite put my finger on what bugs me. They seem to think this is important especially in a kid like my ds who is kind of shy and takes time to warm up. Supposedly he will already be comfortable with her. I guess I don't want to rock the boat either because I want my dd in another year to have who ds had for kindergarten. If she gets her then she will have the same 1st grade teacher, that is just how they do it. I think my daughter do fine with this teacher she as a completely different personality from my son. So hopefully it will all work out. Thanks for your support before and I just wanted to let everyone know how it worked out.

By Bemerry84 on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 03:36 pm:

Beth, how old is your son?? I too have a 1st grade son, whose b-day is Nov. 28th and here in MI the cutoff is Dec. 1st. We had him tested and they said he wasn't ready for kindergarten so he went to Young 5's before kindergarten.(This was a hard decision too). We are also having trouble with the concentration and he hates math but is definitely not ADD, he only likes to do what he wants to do. He loves spelling and can read pretty good. We just have to work harder with him and keep on him constantly and lately he's been compaining about stomach and headaches(stress?). His grades are average (B's & C's). If your son is on the younger side he's probably not ADD, just not ready for 2nd grade. I think you made a wise decision to hold him back this year. It was suggested to my neighbor to hold her son back in Kindergarten and they didn't, he is now in 8th grade and barely makes it with D's. I couldn't put my child through that and that is what helped us in our decision to hold our son back. I'm actually going to have my 14yr old son tutor him this summer and maybe this will make 2nd grade easier for him. Good Luck to you and your son!!!

By Mommmie on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 03:45 pm:

Be sure and check out www.schwablearning.com since you have phonemic awareness on the radar screen. Oftentimes learning disabilities travel with ADHD. There is a message board over there.

Course, when you are talking about repeating a grade, the question must be asked to the teacher, What are you going to do different this year since we know what you did last year wasn't effective?

(My 4th grade son is both ADHD and LD.)

By Melanie on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 03:51 pm:

It sounds like you are definitely doing the right thing. I am glad to hear your son is okay with the decision.

I disagree asking the teacher what will be done different since what she did this year was not effective. You want her to be your ally, not your enemy. That question will only make her defensive and there will be no effective communication following. What she did may not have worked simply because he wasn't ready for it. I've seen a number of kids held back and things just *clicked* the second year.

At any rate, I think you did the right thing and I hope it all works out well!

By Kaye on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 04:47 pm:

Sounds like the right decision to me too My dd was in a class that had the same teacher for 2 years. I wondered about it, there were things about her that I didn't love, but when push came to shove, she knew my daughter, better than me at times. She got her engaged from the beginning of the year, it was by far her best experience. I would spend some time really sucking up to her...really if she is your friend it will go a long ways.

By Annie2 on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 11:12 pm:

I think you made the right decision. From your post your ds thinks so too. We went through the same thing, as I posted before, with our dd in first grade. She is a star pupil in third grade now performing on two grade levels above third (so actually one year above her age). She is confident, has high self-esteem but still has to study to make good grades. She is where she needs to be. You will see the difference in your ds next year.

We kept the same teacher. Our dd was comfortable in the routine. It was not our dd's teacher's neglect or teaching practices which were delaying our dd; only her age.

Good luck and I look forward to hearing of your ds' success next year! Yeah, mom, for following your gut feelings!

By Conni on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 08:02 am:

Glad to hear everyones on board with the decision! You cant hurt him by holding him back imo. Of course, thats coming from someone who is holding her own child back. ;)

I have one that will be going to college at barely 18 (will be 17 when he graduates high school). What was I thinking??? So my oungest is being held back this yr and will not be starting K at 5yo. He will start next yr when he is 6yo and will be the oldest in his class... Hopefully that will work in his favor.

Making the decision seems to be the hardest part. lol Dont you feel so much better now that its been made???