My friend's DH is still away at war. It has been 13 months now. She is so depressed. I help her out any way that I can, but it never seems like enough. I talked to her the other day, and she was crying. I wanted to do something for her right then and there, but I didn't know what to do. I listened to her and let her vent, and gave my advice and everything. I want to get her something that says that she is doing a great job.

Does anyone have any ideas? TIA

By Kernkate on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 10:53 am:

Does she have children?? Maybe you could get her a gift certificate for a massage or something to that effect, and then if she has kids tell her you will watch them for that day so she could get a massage and have a little time for herself.

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 11:06 am:

A massage is a great idea...it's a great stress reliever.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 11:56 am:

I think a massage sounds great & maybe if she does have kids Chris could watch all of them & you two could go to dinner.

By Boxzgrl on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 01:12 pm:

Help Rylee make her a Thank You sign for letting her DH help defend our country. Little things like that make a military wife's day a lot brighter. Just the reassurance that their DH's are there for a meaning bigger than can be explained gives us a sense of pride for being "Married to the Military" so to speak.

If she has kids, a day at the spa or anything pampering would be great.

Why has her DH been there so long? Is he suppose to be home anytime soon? I know the Marines are only doing 7 month tours there so 13 months sounds strange for me.

By Rayanne on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 03:01 pm:

He's time up is said to be in September, but he says that he should be back before then. If he is gone until September it will have been a total of 18 months that he was gone. He is with the National Guard, so I don't know if that makes a difference on time or what.

She just had a day at the Spa for her birthday, and she loved it, but she is a routine person, and that is what holds her days together, so I don't want to break up her routine. I like the sign idea. I think that I will do that. Any other ideas are welcome.

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 09:31 pm:

Go sit with her and have a cup of coffee. Maybe take her to the coffee shop, your treat. Tell her you think she's doing a great job. Buy her husband some phone cards to call home with, or help her prepare a care package. Honestly, it's a lonely thing, especially if she is a Nat Guard wife, because they aren't as used to it as most active couples are. Spending time with another adult can be lifesaving. The likely reason his deployment is so long is training to prepare, and then the tour. Did he get a mid-tour (come home for 2 weeks)? Most Active Army units go for 12-13 months, but we've had a few from Ft. Hood go much longer, as well as back to back tours. It sucks, there is no way around that, it's just a tough situation. I really think just hanging out with her, giving her some company even if it's while she's going through her routines, would make all the difference.

By Bea on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 12:39 am:

By Feona on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 06:24 am:

that is beatiful poem bea..

By Insaneusmcwife on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 04:45 pm:

I agree just go sit with her. The company alone will mean a lot. The hardest part of the deployment is being alone. Does she like to do crafts, play cards, anything to keep her mind busy that you can do with her?

By Meltonmom on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 07:59 pm:

I just finished reading "The Red Hat Club" and it is a great book!! All about these ladies who meet once a month and get into all kinds of mischief. Maybe ya'll could start a "Red Hat Club" with her.

I am thinking of starting one locally myself.

MM