Today I had a dental cleaning appt for my 16 and my 11 yo. I sent my 16 yo w/ a note to school saying to let him come home at 10 and that he would return to school at about 12 and signed it. Got the kids to the dentist and my eldest says he needs a note from the receptionist saying that he was actually at the dentist. Now let me get this straight, I, his guardian and parent notify the school that he, my charge, is leaving for a dental appt. Shouldnt that be enough? Should I feel like it isnt my son but me who needed the note to "prove" that I actually took my son to the dentist? This really bugged me.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 01:27 am:

I bet they have had too many kids lie about their whereabouts, when they leave school.

We have lots of high-school kids who come to our clinic, that want a note that says they actually were at the clinic.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 06:59 am:

I agree. They probably have kids who forge notes so they can leave school to play hookey. Since you didn't actually go in to pick up your child they're just covering all bases by asking for a note from the dental office.

By Jann on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 08:19 am:

We have to show the doc's receipt when we check the kids back into school.

By Karen~moderator on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 08:36 am:

Ditto everyone else. In our area also, parent notes are accepted for one or two day absences from school, but any longer requires a doctor's note. And - a parent note isn't accepted to ride a different school bus either.

I am sure they are just covering bases and looking out for the safety and well being of ALL the kids.

By Kernkate on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 08:47 am:

Its the same way here we need notes when they get excused and return to school for appointments. And when they are going to be absent from school we have to call the school and tell them. And a Dr. notes is required if they are out after 2 days.
As Karen said I think they are just covering all the bases.

By Mrsheidi on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 09:22 am:

You don't know how many times kids forge notes...and one place I worked at in NC, the receptionist ALWAYS took them! I saw a note one time...misspellings everywhere and it looked like it had been written on a bus. It got so bad that I had to ask for the parents to either email me from their work accounts or I would call myself. And, sometimes the parents are just as bad as the kids...I had one 8th grader who said that her mom just got lonely and wanted her to stay with her at least once a week!!! It was the most pitiful thing I had ever heard of! (And, yes, I had that taken care of in a hurry. Her grades were TERRIBLE because of her absences.)
I find that absences (even excused ones) really hurt kids' grades.

By Reds9298 on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 10:04 am:

As a teacher I can tell you that not only do kids forge notes (I did it, too! LOL) but PARENTS will do anything their kids want them to in soooo many cases. If dk doesn't want to go to school or wants to get out early, mom just writes a note *saying* that he has a dentist appt, etc. It's really unfortunate that it affects all the responsible people as well as those who aren't. I know it's a pain for you, but actually you're just 'paying' for all the kids and parents who are irresponsible.
It's too bad.
Also, any correspondence regarding early dismissals or absences is kept on file for your child, just for the record. Everything needs to be in writing. I know it should be enough that YOU wrote a note saying that they had to go to the dentist, but these days (with the way parents are) it just isn't because the school never knows the truth. Sorry!!!

By Mommmie on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 10:07 am:

Our public school requires the official note from the doctor or dentist.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 11:47 am:

If your kid calls home, that they are sick, the kid calls home and then the school calls home, too, to make sure it's okay for them to leave. Just to make sure the kid isn't making it all up, just to leave school.

By Kay on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 12:10 pm:

The school is doing a good job of covering their bases - while our kids are there, they are responsible for their safety.

Our orthodontist's receptionist automatically gives us a slip to take back to school.

I appreciate this effort.

By Missmudd on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 12:50 pm:

I still hate it . I understand the reasoning, I hated being punished for others misdeeds when I was a kid, and I hate being punished as an adult for others too. I am a honest person, I expect people to believe me, when they dont I get super angry because I dont like being called a lier. If I take my kid out of school for hookey, I say on the note "am taking my child out for a long lunch, the rest of the day whatever" I am not going to sink to the level that I have to lie.

We live rurally, during deer season the highschool has quite a few absences. The school is no longer accepting excuses for hunting, it is unexcused, but if you write "going camping" then it is ok. I hate this kind of double speak. Sorry still griping.

By Boxzgrl on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 01:45 pm:

It's probably because of the forgery problem. I was the Queen of forged notes and passes out of class in high school. I never liked going to my last 2 classes so I always wrote forged notes. I think it's a good idea that they are requesting doctors' notes upon returning to school. It may be a hassle to those who are telling the truth but I bet it will also keep a lot more kids in school.

I know in my high school when you turned 18 your parents could sign a form giving their child full permission to write their own notes to leave school. I thought that was a stupid idea. It was highly abused.

By Lauram on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 02:37 pm:

Technically, a parent with a child who has a lot of unexcused absences can be charged with educational neglect. I'm shocked that they accept camping as an excused absence.

By Melanie on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 03:31 pm:

Schools get audited and they must show these notes as proof for excused absences. My guess is the note from the doctor's office shows the auditor that it truly was an excused absence.

In our school, family vacations are unexcused. They keep the record of it, but we've never had any problems even though we have sent notes to school for this reason. I imagine if there are a certain number of days missed they will say or do something.

By Andyjoy on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 03:54 pm:

My school required a slip from the dr., orthodontist, dentist, etc. only if your parent didn't actually pick you up. It makes sense to me and I wouldn't take it personally as a parent--it's the kid who isn't trusted not to forge notes!

My dad and his best friend skipped school to go skiing when he was in high school. Guess who wrote the forged note--his best friend's mom! She wrote a note saying her son was sick, then forged as second note saying my dad was sick!

By Mrse on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 04:25 pm:

Well I would be upset also if I had to get a note from the receptionist at the dentist's office. I read all above comments, and can see why in some cases, why don't they send out a number for the parents that only they know, and when writing a note they quote the number on the note and it is verified that you are actually the parents that would solve at least some of the problems. I don't like being told I "have" to do something like that either, Grrrrrrrr.

By Paulas on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 05:12 pm:

Well, I had a student miss over 60 days of school and there was nothing we could do about it. In our province anyway, not sending your child to school was not considered neglect. I wish we had the educational neglect thing you seem to have in the States. I was able to report when this student didn't bring a lunch to school but could do nothing about the absences.

By Jann on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 05:29 pm:

It's just so not a big deal to get a note at the doc's office! You ask for it when you check out, they give it to you.
Why is it any different to be told you 'have to' write a note to excuse your child from class?
I would rather have a consistant policy for everyone rather than the school secretary deciding who is honest and who is not.

By Lauram on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 08:11 pm:

My dad (a lawyer) actually tried the first CT court case on educational neglect! Generally it's not until 15 that it gets dicey. It's usually way more than that though before action is taken. Also, the child has to be 6 and in first grade. Kindergarten is not required. If you homeschool, you are required to follow certain guidelines too. That varies state by state though. Homeschooling is very different from truancy though....

By Robin on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 08:26 pm:

Are you fuming because you don't think they trust you? Well, if the policy is for everyone, then it isn't a reflection on you or your responsibility as an adult. I think it is a reflection on the school. It is good that they have decided to take a responsible role in knowing where their students are at all times. After all, if anything goes wrong, aren't they the first ones we blame? Look at the positive side of things. They care about your kids well-being!

By Reds9298 on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 09:08 am:

Regarding educational neglect, our school building in particular has taken a few of these to court, and here is where the 'black and white and in print' records really come in handy.
I would have never guessed how many parents allow their children to miss school for no reason until I started teaching. It's appalling! (At least in my experience). These days it seems, kids 'run the show' and rather than fight with kids about it or have to enforce rules, some parents would rather just write an easy note (fake excuse) and leave the kid at home. It's so unfortunate.

Robin - I agree. The school is soooooo responsible for your child's whereabouts and attendance. On the other side of that, if poor attendance is a problem for a particular school, the state can intervene and reprimand the school. One year the attendance in one of our districts was so low that the school was put on probation by the state.

Parents complain about so many things, and true sometimes they are an inconvenience, but it's all for your child's well-being in the long run. If there isn't a paper trail of why this child has been absent, then the school has a leal responsibility to pursue educational neglect for the child's best interest.

By Sunny on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 11:35 am:

Is a note still required if you sign them out of school then sign them back in? I've always gone to the school in those kinds of situations and never needed a doctor's note, but am not sure of the policy in our high school since I've never taken them out in the middle of the day and then sent them back.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 12:04 pm:

Mmmmm....I think, but I'm not sure. It probably depends on the school's policy.