You will NOT believe what I witnessed today!!!
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You will NOT believe what I witnessed today!!!
My DD, DH and I went to the movies today. A 20-something girl and her friend and a 3-4 year old little girl came in and sat behind us. I noticed them because they were talking very loudly and it was pretty rude. After about 2 minutes they moved to the front of the theater (which wasn't too crowded, about 20 people there.) After about 5 minutes one of the 20-somethings got up and left and a few minutes later the other one did. YES, they left this little 3-4 year old girl sitting there alone.
The movie had started and I thought maybe they were going to the refreshment stand. Time went by and they didn't come back. After about 30 minutes one of them came back, checked on the girl and left again. After about another 30 minutes she came back and checked on the little girl again and then left. By now, I was getting very irritated. I leaned over to my DH and commented.
The movie finished and this little girl jumped up and asked everyone where her Mommy was. I was so frazzled that I went out to the lobby to watch the little girl. She ran into another theater. I asked the workers if they knew what was going on and they said they did. I asked if it was OK to do that and they asked if I wanted to speak to the assistant manager. I said yes. She came out and told me that the mother told them that they were going to leave the little girl alone to watch the kid's movie while they went into another show to watch what they wanted. The mother said the little girl would be fine and that she would check on her once in a while.
I WAS LIVID!!! I asked the assistant manager (who was very young) if that was ok with her and she said there wasn't anything they could do about it. I asked her if she would call the authorities and she said no but that I could if I wanted.
There just happens to be the police station right on the same block so when we left the building, my DH drove right up there and I told an officer who was out front what was going on and if what happened was considered "endangering the welfare of a child." He said he thought so and walked right down to the theater to investigate.
We had to leave for another engagement or else I would have waited right there to see what happened. I tried calling the theater to see what happened but they only have the machine that tells you movies and times. Can't talk to a real person. I was getting so frustrated that I called the police station to see what happened. Of course there was a shift change and the officer who answered the phone didn't know anything that happened. He said that if he was the one who investigated, he would have arrested her on the spot for endangerment. He told me to call back on Sunday and ask for a certain officer to find out what happened.
Can you believe that a mother would leave her baby girl alone like that!!!??? Anyone in that entire complex(7 theaters) could have walked right off with that little girl and nobody would have been able to do a thing about it. There could have been a sick pedophile sitting anywhere near her and done whatever he/she wanted with that poor little girl. As you can tell, I am still so upset about it. DH says that I did the right thing and all that I could do under the circumstances. I just can't help but think that if she leaves her alone like that in public, imagine what happens to her when nobody else is around. My heart is breaking for this little girl. Such a sad situation. OK, I'm done venting for now!!! 
I won't even leave my child long enough to go get popcorn. What the heck were these women thinking? I personally would call & speak to the owner of the theater, because I can't believe the employees would say that it was fine for them to do that. I hope that these women got in serious trouble & they should be grateful you were keeping your eye on the little girl.
Let us know what happened when you find out.
Why isn't there some kind of test for parenthood? Common sense should have told them they were being stupid.
Some people are just STUPID!I hope she is ok.Please keep us up on what you find out.Your a good person for doing what you did!
I won't even leave my kids alone in the car to pick up the cleaning - even though I can see them the whole time! I really hope this mom learns a lesson now, before it's too late.
Ditto Emily - we license everything EXCEPT the most important job in the word! Kudos to you, Livvy for doing something to help that girl.
Ame
Good for you! Be sure to call the police and "follow up".
Next time, (I got this tip from a counselor) next time you witness public maltreatment or neglect of a child, act like you are preoccupied and "keep an eye" on the situation, follow the "family", trail them but loosely, don't arouse their suspicion, when the "family" (and I use the term "family" loosely) gets into their car, report the child endangerment, the year, make and model of the car and the license tag, the police can run a check and get the home address, names, etc.
Unfortunately, right now, it is possible that by the time the officer got to the theatre, the "family" was gone and the Manager probably didn't have a name or any information to give the officer.
One time we were at the zoo and I witnessed a father brutually spanking his son. A few folks noticed that the spanking went "over the top" but nobody seemed to know what to do. After the spanking was over, I went and got a security guard from the zoo and told him about it, but by that time, the "family" has disappeared into the parking lot. At the time, it really upset me and I brought it up to someone in the counseling field and she gave me the "tip" about the car. I thought it was a great idea.
Next time, I will be ready and I can give the police some information to go on to really check into things.....MM
The good thing is that the people were still in the theater at the movie that the 20-somethings were watching!! I am hoping that she at least got a good scare from the officer.
The officer on the phone was very upset that the assistant manager told me that there was nothing she could do about the situation. He said she should have been the one to report the incident. Maybe the theater people got the message too.
Not to defend the assistant manager but she was very young and all of the other people working there were younger than her. Maybe they really didn't know that they could have done something. Hopefully they do now!!!
Thanks for the reassurance that I did the right thing. I wondered (only for a minute) if I shouldn't stick my nose in another's business but I couldn't stand by and do nothing!
That is horrible! I think you did the right thing to! Some people are so careless with their children!
Absolutely. You did the right thing. I did not mean to imply otherwise. I was just passing along a tip I got from a professional if anyone ever witnesses an episode like this again.
MM
This happens at our theatre all the time. In the summers, parents drop off their little kids at the movies and they leave to go shopping and run errands. Then, they come back and pick them up when the movie is over. I always stay with my kids.
I've seen parents leave 2 year olds in the hand of a 4 or 5 year old to watch the movie.
Sad, and scary. I always sit there and think that this is prime territory for kidnappers and molesters. It would be soooo easy to pick up on these little kids.
Unreal. Thank goodness there are people like you who report such behavior.
I would have never done that! Sheesh! My daughter is 15 and only just started going to movies with her friends.
MM,
I didn't think that you implied that in your post at all!! Your idea is a great one and if anything like this happens near me again I will remember it. Unfortunately, we had to leave the theater so I couldn't do that this time!! I actually lost sleep thinking abou tthis last night!! I guess I need to let it go, as my DH had suggested a few times so far!!
I asked the assistant manager (who was very young) if that was ok with her and she said there wasn't anything they could do about it.
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Wow. I think that if they're not going to do anything about this or similar situations they're exposing themselves to liability issues should anything happen to a child.
One more step you might want to take. Write an account of what happened and what you did and your disapointment at the theatres inaction and send it to the manager, regional manager and whoever else in the chain of command you can. Someone along the line is likely to share your outrage.
I don't know how big of a town you live in,but, why not try writing an letter to the editor of the newspaper,telling people about this problem.That might really make some people think about doing it.I am really glad that you brought this to our attention,I have seen small children in movies before to( not as small as 3-4),but, never did anything about it.Thank you again for being a watchful mom!
I agree with Dawn/Unschoolmom. Write a letter to the chain. If you go to the theater's or chain's website, you can probably get the name of the CEO and the Chairman of the Board and the Regional Manager. Make it a detailed account, including the conversations you had with the theater staff that night.
One of the problems in places like movie theaters, fast food joints, 24 hour convenience stores and the like is that often their "managers" on weekends and evenings are fairly young people who are called managers but don't really have managerial responsibilities other than holding the keys and calling the real manager in case of a problem. They aren't old enough and don't have enough life experience to really think things through.
I think you did the right thing, thank God for you! Hopefully, the officer at least made contact with the mother or guardian and hopefully she has learned a valuable lesson. I can only imagine what could have happened to that poor little girl.
I think mothers like that should be beaten. I have no patience for that behavior, it only takes 1 second for someone to snatch a child. I'm glad you notified the police, and shame on the employees. Even a teenager should know that you never leave a toddler unattended, so their response was unacceptable as well. I don't buy into the age excuse, most of us babysat as teens, anyone mature enough to hold a job should know better.
I won't even let 4 yo dd outside to play by herself in our yard without being watched. And we live in a nice family oriented neighborhood. I can NOT imagine someone leaving a child her age unsupervised in a busy movie theater. If I even go to the bathroom or for more popcorn, she goes with me unless there is someone with us to watch her.
Heavens to Betsy, some people are just plain brainless.
Why even have a child?
Have you had any news about what happened when the cops got to the theater?
Today is the first day that the officer has been back on duty. I have a call in to him and hopefully he will call me back when his shift is over!!! Keeping my fingers crossed that he will call me back!!!
I don't even let my kids play in the backyard alone, that lady is INSANE! The poor little girl!
The officer called me back. He said that by the time he got there mother and child were reunited in the same theater. He gave her a lecture about how she was putting her child in danger but that's all that happened. He also told the theater employees that they should not let it happen anymore. They told him it "happens all the time!!" How sad is that...just breaks my heart.
I am going to write a letter to the editor of the paper and to the theater owner, if I can ever find out who that it. I haven't had much luck with that. Seems it is not a chain, it's privately owned and the owner is hard to track down!! I won't stop until I am confortable with the whole thing!!
Thanks for all of the words of encouragement to see this to the end. It still bothers me a ton ! I just can't hep but think of that little girl's life. Hopefully her mom listened to the officer's lecture and warning and she will be more responsible from now on!!!
See if you can search your county tax records online. We can for our county. You can just type in the address it will give you the person who pays the property taxes name.
Definitely, the real estate tax records will show who the owner of record is. And I can almost guarantee you that if you write a letter to the paper and name the theater, the owner of record will definitely be aware of it.
And, if the theater is incorporated (and most business incorporate for a variety of reasons) it
I totally agree that it is outrageous that the "mother" of that child didn't recognize the potential danger she exposed that little girl to. I would write letters to everyone I could think of from the owner to the editor all the way to my state and US congress about the lack of laws that hold parents acountable for their actions.
I do have one point, though. In a public place such as a theatre how can we hold the business or proprietor responsible for children when we never actually turned them over to them? I mean like, when you leave your kids with the daycare provider, you are legally turning responsibility for their well being and safety over to that person or business. It seems unfair (legally speaking) to lay responsibility on the managers for assuring the safety of the children.
In a situation such as a daycare, school, or doctor, the provider is bound by law to report any suspicion of neglect or abuse. But we cannot legally hold every other public establishment to the same principle. However, they all have a moral obligation to report such instances to authorities, so all we can do is hope that they act in good faith as citizens and do the right thing.
Lisa,
The officer I've spoken to said that the theater people should have told the mother that she couldn't do that and asked her to leave. He said they also have the right to call the authorities when it does happen.
I agree, we shouldn't expect businesses to babysit for us or hold them responsible for our children but they should know that they can say no to that kind of neglectful action and call the authorities if necessary.
Lisa, I would agree that if the theater staff weren't aware, they shouldn't be held responsible. But this is what Livvy said in her first post:
I asked the workers if they knew what was going on and they said they did. I asked if it was OK to do that and they asked if I wanted to speak to the assistant manager. I said yes. She came out and told me that the mother told them that they were going to leave the little girl alone to watch the kid's movie while they went into another show to watch what they wanted.
So they knew, and should be held accountable. Fortunately, nothing happened, but minimally, the theater should train its staff to know that if they see an unescorted or unaccompanied small child (say, under 12) in the theater to call the authorities, and that of course they should never allow a parent to place a child in one theater while the parent goes to another.
What's probably going to happen, of course, is that the young people on duty that night will probably be fired so the theater owner can say he "did something" about the problem. Whether there will be new rules or training is another issue.
What was the movie?
I really didn't mean to cause a debate, so I apologize. I just didn't think I would have rushed to judgement against the theatre so quickly.
I agree that there should be a policy or standard in place to handle this kind of situation and that the employees should be trained in such a procedure, such as what the officer referred to, but beyond that, I just don't think that the theatre can be held liable if something were to happen to the child.
I don't mean to cause hard feelings- I would be just as upset about it as you are if I had seen it myself. Basically we want to know that the employees and the owner care about what happens to little children enough do do something about it.
I don't think anyone thought you were starting a debate, Lisa, but rather raised what is a good question - at what point do we start to hold businesses that are not in the child-care business responsible for our children and what happens to them? Clearly the parents were the people most at fault here (as is all too often the case).
As to whether the theater could be held responsible, well, as a legal secretary, my non-lawyer opinion, based on what I have observed and read, is that if the theater staff knew the child was there without direct parental company AND allowed it, then there might be some liability if the child were injured while alone in the theater. I would think the parents could not sue for themselves, but a "cause of action" could be made out for the child if the child were injured as a result of the theater staff allowing her to be in the theater without her parents. I can tell you it would be an interesting lawsuit, given the parents' role in the situation.
We are a much more litigious society than we used to be, and for that reason I am absolutely astounded that the theater didn't already have rules in place, and that the theater staff clearly had not been told or trained about what to do when small children are left alone in the theater.
Lisa,
I never thought your post started a debate!! I hope, hope, hope my post didn't make you think that!!!
As Ginny said, you raised a very good point!! The employees there at the time really didn't know what to do when I asked them if they knew what was going on. I wasn't placing blame or confrontational to them in any way. I think they were genuinely surprised that I even cared about that little girl!! If anything, I hope this may cause them to create a new policy in their theater!!! It made me wonder if I was the first person who has ever complained about such a thing there!!
It sure has made me hug my DD a bit tighter since it happened!! I don't imagine I will leave her alone in a theater for another 20 years or so (she's 7 now!!) 
PS ~ The movie that the little girl was alone at was Robots. Her mother and friend were watching the new Queen Latifah movie, Beautyshop, I think it's called.
Thank-you- I reread my post today and after a day I guess it sounded different.
I made a call today to let my 8-yr-old ds go bike riding with a couple of his friends around the neighborhood (the 4 streets surrounding our block). I was hesitant- it would mean that I wouldn't know exactly where he was at any given moment! *wimper*
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