DH is having the Big V next month........
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DH is having the Big V next month........
There is a required 30 day wait for the procedure to take place (does your state require this wait time too?)
I'm just curious, have any of you out there had your DH chicken out at the last minute and cancel?
DH said "what if I wake up scared the day of the appt?"
I told him to expect waking up scared and to be scared whenever he thought too much about it. Then I reminded him that I had just passed a entire human out my body and even during those first moments of hearing "push" I was afraid.
I told him I would drive him to the office. I would wait w/ him and I would walk into the office with him until he saw the dr. Then I said, and maybe I shouldn't have, "I will make sure you are there looking at the dr ready to do this. If you just can't do it, I'm not going to force you. It will be up to you, but I will be make sure you get there." Now I am wondering if he will really chicken out. I sure hope not.
Everyone I have spoken to has told me how wonderful it is after it is over and the test come back w/ 0 sperm. So, *I* am not worried about this. But Dh, that is another thing. Nothing I can tell him will help him feel safer about doing it. I've already tried.
Going anonymous to protect DH's identity. But I am one of those ladies who recently had a baby and old enough to not want to do it again.
Not sure about the big V, but I got tickled and a little preturbed that my dh had to sign a paper acknowledging that I was being sterilized when I got my tubes tied. Not sure if it was a state requirement or something that the doc did.
DH just had it done on Friday, March 4th. No 30 day wait period and he said it was a piece of cake. He was mowing the law on Saturday and washed all 3 cars on Sunday. He was a little sore on Friday Night but other than that he said it really wasn't a big deal. He also went for his usual jog on Monday morning.
I guess everyone has a different experience with the big V, but in our case it was very easy and nothing to be worried about.
We are still in the waiting period for him to go back in and get tested to make sure there are no little swimmers left. He will go in towards the middle of next month.
My dh had one when we were in Maryland (on Andrews AFB). They didn't require a wait, but I did have to sign consent. I'm probably not the best person to ask about how to put him at ease, though. When we went in it had been just days since seeing the movie "The Green Mile" and I looked at dh and said, "Does that floor look green to you?" lol HE was the one that wanted it, though. I just made him wait until Randy was 5yo and I agreed to it. My dh did have a minor complication afterwards (severe bruising), but was still up and around after a couple days. I actually got to watch. You know, for moral support.  It didn't take that long and we were home by noon. Oh, and he never did go back for his "check". I just figure after 4 1/2 years now, it must have worked. If we end up with a surprise, so be it. Good luck (and I know who you are!  ).
My DH had a V this past September. This was after a few years of gentle coaxing. He scheduled it a couple months ahead of time to work it into his job schedule. He was anxious about it the entire time. Yes, he was scared, but he didn't chicken out at the last minute. In fact, the morning of his appt. both kids were sick so I was unable to go along with him for support. *I* gave him the option of postponing but he refused saying he wanted to "get it over with". After the fact he said it wasn't nearly as big a deal as he had anticipated. He had it done on a Thursday and returned to work the following Monday. He was in bed and very cozy with ice packs for most of Thursday but was gingerly up and around on Friday. Pretty much back to normal by the weekend. He did experience epididymitis, which is a fairly common V complication, but it was short lived. Nothing antibiotics and soaks in a hot tub didn't take care of. He didn't test swimmer free until 3 mos. post V. We were told it sometimes takes up to 6 mos., and in very few cases, some men actually have to have the procedure performed again. It is SO NICE not to have to worry about BC! 
My dh went through it twice. Not sure I would share that with your dh, though! LOL. The first time was not nearly as bad as he expected. The second was worse. He thought he would be fine in a couple of days like he was the first time, but it actually took a couple of weeks for him to feel normal again. He didn't hesitate to do it a second time. He knew it would be a much bigger deal for me to do it. I completely agree with Trina-not having to worry about BC is SO NICE!
My husband had it done in Oct as well. He was ready and willing to get it over with. It is something he told me he wanted to do after we were done having babies. He was a little sore when he came home,used some frozen peas for a couple of hrs. The nest day he was sore, but moving around, 2 days later he was at the car junkyard, getting parts for his car. I would say he was sore for about a week, but each day it got better.I think it was about 10 -14 days where he said there was no discomfort at all.
Before I write this, I just have to say that I am not trying to turn this into a "man bashing" and I PROMISE I am smiling and having a sense of humor about it, but really, just between us girls, isn't it ridiculous they way the guys whine and moan about this procedure?
I mean, we go to the ob/gyn regularly, get pap smears, succomb our breasts to being smashed to detect possible cancer, subject ourselves to hormones to NOT get pregnant, subject ourselves to hormone injection TO get pregnant, go through pregnancy, HAVE the baby, have a human being "latched onto" our chests for a year to eat, get hysterectomies because the pregnancy rearranged our insides (yes, my after my second child, my uterus literally prolapsed and was actually falling out of my body and I have to have a hysterectomy and a "bladder lift" because after the birth of my second child I was incontinent),....not to mention going on diets to lose baby weight, wonder about Career Woman vs. Stay At Home Woman, schleep little people around in vans as large as Greyhound buses to church, gymnastics, Brownies, baseball, dance classe, read report cards, volunteer to teach/help with everything from Sunday school to two hour talent shows (also known as tortue chambers), cook, clean, do the laundry, worry if the kids are getting too much attention, worry if the kids are not getting enough attention, sign report cards, hope our kid is not "the biter", hope our kid is not "the bittee", deal with children's constipation, deal with OUR OWN constipation, and actually form clubs, message boards and Bible clubs to walk through Womanhood, Motherhood, and Godly Wife Duties....
And Men
have to get a tiny, tiny, incision in their little private area and sit on a bag of frozen peas for a week and it is the end of the world!!!
Geez!
:-)
MM
I couldn't have said it any better myself!
Amen to that lol... I told dh that he would be the guy to do this. A tubal requires hospitalization, the big V is an office visit. If a tubal fails you can end up with a tubal pregnancy which can kill you, if the big V fails you get a bonus child. I have been through 4 pregnancies w/ all the associated time with my buns in the air in stirups having strange people put fingers, and cold shiny objects were they really dont belong. He could deal w/ the embarrassment and discomfort once.
There is no waiting period here, and no consent for me to sign off on for him. Dh had a valum sp? b4 he left for the dr's office ( I drove ) and it really wasnt bad at all. The worst that happened was when he asked for a bag of frozen peas and I THREW THEM TO HIM!!!! As soon as they left my fingertips it was like slow motion, and in my head I am screaming "OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO", which is pretty much what went through dh's head except it was a bit more graphic. I felt super bad.
OP here. Oh that is so true! A friend of mine who just delievered twins went thru a full week of a husband who couldn't "do anything" because he was in pain. Ummmmmmmmmm....what does he think his wife felt like after having twins vaginally? And still had to care for her 6yr old and TWINS! "Sorry hun, my episiotomy hurts, I can't get up to get the crying baby (or whatever)" Yeah, right, I bet that was what was going on in their house the weeks after she got home. And you want to know why he hurt? Because he decided he didn't need to wear a jock strap after the procedure. It took him from Wed to Mon before he was up and about! And that was during srping break, so the wife had to care for all three kids on her own AND a hubby who was "sick". Let's just say she was in a rotten mood on Monday when I saw her at the bus stop LOL.
OH MY!! I just saw the ending to Miss Muds story. Have to say I laughed. Oh well.
Thanks for the stories. So far, there have not been any saying they chickened out. That is a good sign.
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