I have a few questions so help ladies, for those of you that had medium-big weddings waht kindof money was spent? Did you already have kids? If yes did your parents still help pay for it and if yes how much?

Does anyone have any tips for cheap ideas?

By Kaye on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 02:44 pm:

I just helpped out with my cousin's wedding. I woud say she spent around 3-4 k. Ideas to save money, do your own flowers, she bought a "wedding pack" from sam's and did all her own bouquets. Look into pricing small things at florist, they will usually give a reasonable price on boutoniers, but the bridal one is where they make money. Also use lots of candles, they are cheap and pretty. They burned a CD for dancing instead of a dj or band.

As far as who pays, in general my friends parents only paid if it was a first marriage and they were still living at home. My cousin age 27, living with her beau and they didn't pay for it. I think they did buy her dress and help out with the food.

Really I think it all those little things that add up, try to stick to basics.

Also we did a cake/punch afternoon thing and spent 2k dress, his ring, limo, everything. it all depends what you want.

By Kolbysmom on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 03:06 pm:

We probably spent 2-3k. Yes, we had one child at the time. My mom gave us $500 to help towards the wedding and $500 as a gift. My dad also gave us a few hundred to help.

My friends and I made all the bouquets and boutoniers out of fake flowers. You really can't tell the difference. We maybe spent $50-75 on everything(6 bouquets, 7 bouts, and 5 or 6 corsages). My mom made all of the pew bows. We rented to big heart shaped candellabras for the alter.

Reception: We did coordinating table clothes to match wedding colors. We put 4 round mirrors with fake flowers hot glued around the edges and 3 votives on each. We did have the reception catered, but it was only $400. My cousin was the DJ. He didn't have any previous experience. We told him what songs we wanted, he made about 5 CDs and used his own stereo and amps. He only charged us $100 for it too.

You can really do a beautiful wedding on a budget. Everyone complimented us on how great everything looked. It made it 100 times better that we made everything ourselves and it was done pretty cheap.

By Colette on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 03:24 pm:

My mother bought my flowers wholesale and my uncle who is a florist and a photographer did the flowers and the pictures. My mother in law made the 3 tiered wedding cake, My sister did the landscaping at a local park so we got that no charge. My dad did the bar and he is a gourmet cook so he did most of the food as well. We hired a string quartet that were graduate students at a college of music. My mother also got me my dress and made my veil they were simple but elegant. I received some money from my in laws and my parents, but never expected them to pay for any of it. I just cannot see the point in spending thousands of dollars on food that is going to be hit or miss and on a dj that is going to play the chicken dance. We both preferred to put that money towards our future. Everyone loved the wedding, my cousin loved it so much that she did the same thing and her parents would have paid for the big wedding. Dh recently asked me if we could renew our vows for our 20th and we both agreed to do the same type of thing.

By Yjja123 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 04:08 pm:

We eloped...long story featuring nasty inlaws. So on our 5th Anniversary we did a vow renewal.
We did a day cruise in Sanford Florida on the St. John's River
http://www.rivershipromance.com/
The final total was roughly $4,000 that included invitations, favors, flowers, minister, my dress, kids nautical outfits, hubbys suit, awesome cake with white chocolate shells, the cost of the day cruise (which included choice of dinners for guests and entertainment) and a Champagne toast. My only regret? We didn't have a photographer so I still have no "wedding" photos of us! Argggh!
Everyone complimented us on how enjoyable it was. The ceremony was awesome and at the end we included our children by giving them each family medallions.
I have been to a wedding that cost *gasp* over $50,000! and I swear ours was so much better.
A wonderful day CAN be had for less $. The most important thing is only include your closest friends and family. This way you get the most for your budget.
Yvonne
PS...No one offered to help us pay so we waited until we had enough money to do it.

By Conni on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 04:39 pm:

We spent about $4000.00-$5000.00 on a very small wedding. That total included our honeymoon trip to Mexico for 5 days. My Mom helped a little with the cost of the chapel rental fee. My mil helped pay for the rehearsal dinner I think -- and that was our wedding gift from her and her husband. So his Mom and my Mom put in probably $200 each total but it was also part of our wedding gift. kwim?

We did have kids. They were in the wedding.

If I had it to do over again.... I would DEFINITELY (sp?-duh) go to an island somewhere and spend the money to take the family (our kids, parents and grandparents and sisters only please!) and get married on the beach at sunset or sunrise! I would not bother with a wedding we were so tired and so ready for it to be over so we could go on our trip and relax. Skip the wedding - get hitched barefoot on the beach in shorts and a tank top and have FUN.

Whatever you do congrats and good luck to you!

By Reds9298 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 05:19 pm:

I love weddings!!!! We were just out of college when we got married and my parents paid for it. It was about $7,000 and it was medium big...I would NOT say it was extravagant by any means but really nice. We had about 130 people that actually attended.
Tips: *go as cheap as poss. on the invites, everyone throws them away anyway; *don't have rsvp's-xtra postage and $; DON'T skimp on photos, cut back somewhere else;
DH is home so I'll keep thinking...distracted right now!!

By Reds9298 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 05:20 pm:

Oh, no kids then either.

By Rayanne on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 05:27 pm:

For our invitations, we went to Kinkos and bought some nice paper and printed them on our computer. It was cheap and nice. I still do this and will continue to do it, for all parties.

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 05:29 pm:

Do you have any news for us, Tonya?!

You can have a nice wedding and not spend a lot. DH and I paid for most of our wedding but family members contributed. My MIL was a caterer and insisted on catering our reception. That was her gift to us. My Mom did all the silk flower arrangements and my brother DJed the reception. We didn't bother spending money on engraved matchbooks or wedding favors. We kept everything simple, but still had a special ceremony. About 150 attended. It was almost 17 yrs. ago so my memory is foggy, but I know the total cost wasn't more than $3,000, including our honeymoon.

By Yjja123 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 05:37 pm:

I had engraved invitations. I loved them and have a keepsake memory box with invitation, bookmark favor, engraved napkin, and my dried flower bouquet. There are a ton of discount invitation companies out there. If you go formal I think your invitation should be the same.

By Palmbchprincess on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 05:52 pm:

I spent about 3K total on my wedding with my ex, it was very small, and 3 days after 9/11 so a lot of our (mostly military) guest couldn't come. Honestly, it was a lot of work and ended up being a bit of a disaster. (The wedding, the marriage was a whole other story!!) The best thing to do, especially if you've been in a committed "common law" relationship, is to do what makes you happy. A small civil or religious ceremony, and a party of your choosing afterwards. It's all about the bride and groom, even if they aren't interested in tradition.

By Amecmom on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 06:17 pm:

Our wedding was about $15k once everything was said and done - and I got discounts! My cousin did the photograpy and a friend ofanother cousin did the flowers, but even then, the catering alone was $65b a head (again, pretty good for a place on the Hudson).
We had no kids, my parents gave us the house I grew up in (no, we're not rich - but it just worked out that way), so we could afford to do it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat!
You'll probably make back most of what you spend in gifts.
Good luck!
Ame

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 08:33 pm:

Our wedding, in 1987, cost about $4-5000, and I felt it was a very good wedding. My parents paid for all the food and the bar bill. We paid for everything else. My flowers alone ran $500, but I figured my dress had already been long paid for and I didn't want to cut any of the flowers back.

Oh, and Gary had a friend who had done wedding photography on his own and had just been hired at a studio. Hal did our pictures as his wedding present to us, so we didn't have to pay for that. My Wedding Pic You can see my flowers.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 08:36 pm:

Our $7K total was also 7 years ago, so it would be a lot more expensive to do the same thing now. It also didn't include our honeymoon which we paid for ourselves (a week in the Bahamas). We also only had finger foods, but I know now in this area even finger foods and no dinner is outrageously priced. I went with a private woman her worked out of her home, not a catering business.
Now that I'm older and more mature I think I would do it all over again only I would make it smaller...only for the closest of friends and family and really go elaborate for those people. I think it was worth it to have that one day where everything is like a dream. You CAN do your dream on a budget, you just have to be creative. Do your own centerpieces, make your own favors, print your own invites, discount stores for your dress,that's a lot of savings right there. And if you have a friend or family member that can make the food, huge savings for you. I actually made my own veil because my dress was so expensive and have you priced veils? $$$$ So mine was $35, shoes from Payless, and jewelry was family so that didn't cost anything.(dress was $1000, had to cut somewhere!)
Start looking in craft books and online for ideas that you can tweak to save money. I recommend though that once you make a budget, add $500 at least for incidentals because it *will* happen, no matter how much you plan.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 08:40 pm:

Oh - family friend did the video (starting at $300 for that around here, no way!), friend did my hair, didn't have a free bar, used friends to play instruments/sing at the ceremony so I only had to buy them a small thank you gift. Watched sales for those throw-away cameras to put on the tables and got them half-price. If you have enough tuxedos in the wedding the dad and groom got theirs free(we had 4 groomsmen and 4 ushers), maybe the ring bearer, too. Still remembering.....

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 09:19 pm:

You can save money by having a wedding right after another person's wedding and sharing the flower and decoration cost at the church.
My older brother made my husband's wedding ring. He just does it as a hobby and could make you a simple band for him. (75$)
Don't know about parents still paying for it. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to ask.
Some people have an RCI timeshare to offer as a honeymoon gift. Same with frequent flyer miles. We used my mother in law's miles and she had a timeshare so we went to the Bahamas.
Our wedding was about $12,000 but I did spend money on food and there were about 100 people there. One of the best nights of my life! Make sure you invite only the people that you know you are going to know for life...that's what made our wedding so special. No coworkers (unless they're best friends) and family and best friends in the wedding party. Don't feel guilty about only inviting the people you really want there...don't try to avoid hurting people's feelings. It's going to happen...period.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 09:56 pm:

Tonya, Do you have something to tell us????????

As far as parents helping out, my parents helped out instead of buying gifts. And you can make it as "cheap" as you want it to be or as expensive as you want it to be. My sisters and I all got married for under five hundred dollars each. Very nice, family weddings.

What are you thinking you want to do? And maybe we can help you cut some corners.... Probably would be easier to give suggestions that way..

By Juli4 on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 07:31 am:

In my opinion no one is obligated even parents to pay for any of the wedding. It shouldn't be expected at all. IF they offer to help then graciously accept, but I don't think that parents should "have to" or be expected to pay for it.

By Tonya on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 07:51 am:

I don't have anything to tell you ladies yet but I think I will soon. We have been talking about it allot lately and I told him that I wanted to be married before I am 30 and that I and my parents needed 2 yrs because I want to plan a good wedding nothing huge but I want a reception and a wedding in the gazibo at the park and he told me I would have my 2 yrs notice so not to worry. Well I will be 30 in a little over 2 yrs so I think it is coming soon. He has been talking about it allot. Like who he will have stand up with him and things like that.

What is funny is I already know what I want, it is just actually planning it and ordering things. I know where nad I know when and I know who I (we) want in it.

By Tonya on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 08:00 am:

Oh and what I want it to me married in the gazibo at the park next to the Holiday Inn then have the reception at the hotel banquet next door. Then people who drink cna stay the night. They give discounts to rooms for people using the banquet room. They dothe food and cake there so tat is in the price. We are going to have between 150-200 people only becuase of my family. Closer to 150. Center pieces will be glass bowls with beta fish in them with colored rocks (silver and purple). We can do these really cheap by going to the craft store.

My girlfriend is going to help me make all of the flowers so we can save there. I want a dress I found at Davids Bridal for $450. I saw it years ago and I fell in love and cannot imagine anything else. There will be 3 bridesmaids and 3 grooms men and then our kids.

I want to put something on the table for each person but not sure what to do that will be cute and cheap.

I like the idea of doing my own invites definately cheaper cause I know I throw everything away when I get them in the mail. I could probably do the RSVP cards too that way.

I want a DJ cause I want the chicken dance and the other stuff that they do at weddings.

Can anyone thing of anything I am missing?

By Rayanne on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 08:25 am:

I can't think of anything that you are missing. You sound like every girl, already having their wedding planned.

All I have to say is...

You better tell us when he does POP the question!!!!!

By Tonya on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 08:34 am:

You ladies will be one of the first that I tell. Like I said you have all been through allot with me and my family and my ups and downs with Rich so I cannot wait to spread the world. And Rayanne you are right I have it all planned it is just puting it into action that I cannot wait to do.

By Boxzgrl on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 12:16 pm:

DH and I never had a ceremony, we plan on doing that for a 10 year renewal. We are planning on spending about 8-10K for the renewal ceremony and "honeymoon". We are looking into having it on the Virgin Islands so thats why were throwing in a few extra grand, I cant expect everyone to pay their own way. We have a lot of "friends of the family" type people that will be helping to lower the cost so we'll see the the outcome is 6 years from now!

By Missmudd on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 05:50 pm:

We married at a vineyard, it was pretty cheap to rent the grounds including all the picnic tables and chairs for the guests and they gave us a discount on the wine. We made all our own flower arrangements and made the food. Mostly chicken wings from costco, that sort of thing. My dress was $150 on clearance, I dont remember how much the tux rental was. We bought a small 3 tiered wedding cake and a huge sheet cake that matched at Fred Meyers, IT WAS AWESOME!!! Chocolate and bavarian creme, think it was around $150 Yummm We printed our own invites, my mom made the bridesmaides dresses. I think we probably only spent about $1000 total, and we had 75 guests. This was in 1990 however.

By Feona on Saturday, March 19, 2005 - 09:02 am:

I know people who used

pink plastic table clothes

silk flower or flowers on tables.

Served finger sandwiches - like a tea.

Very inexpensive. Just a snack after the wedding. It was fine....