I have a birthday party question (or two) that I'm hoping you all can help me with.

My ds's 5th birthday is in a month and we want to have a small scale party for him. He wants a pirate party and I found a party for 8 kit in Oriental Trading that looks fun. It basically has everything we would need (paper products, craft kits, pinata, goodie bags, pirate swords and eye patches, decorations, etc.) except the cake, ice cream, and drinks for $70 which I think is great. I was just about to order the kit when it occured to me that I may have a problem. Since the children at this party will be in the same age bracket as my ds I'm sure that the parents will elect to stay at the party rather than drop their child off and I hope that they do. My problem is, what if they bring siblings? The party kit only has enough stuff for 8 and we plan on having exactly 8 children at the party. What do I do about the possibility of siblings? I hate to leave them out, but I do not want to buy two kits at that price to cover the siblings of the children we invite. Also, we do not intend on inviting every child in my ds's class, just the boys he is friends with because we want to keep the party fairly small. Do you think that is a problem? We have not had a party for him since his first birthday and I'm not sure what to do about siblings and whether or not it's 'ok' to only invite friends from class rather than the whole class. TIA

BTW, I'm not trying to be a Scrooge or anything, but both my children and my brother's birthday are in the same week so it is a very expensive week for us with two parties to throw and three birthdays to buy presents for so we are trying to not go overboard on the parties this year.

By Tink on Thursday, March 3, 2005 - 06:32 pm:

I don't think you need to provide these things for the siblings. If you are too worried, you could say something on the invitations like "Siblings are welcome but favors will only be provided for DS's guests." I always stay at my kids' parties but don't bring their siblings. I wouldn't be offended if a note like that was included.

As far as not inviting the whole class, you may want to speak with the teacher. Some schools are now requiring the whole class be invited. I don't see a problem with only inviting a few friends, just suggest your son not talk about it at school in front of others.

By Breann on Thursday, March 3, 2005 - 07:22 pm:

My daughter gets invited to parties where the entire class has been invited. It kind of bugs me. She usually doesn't go unless it is a student that she has talked about being friends with in the past, or would like to be friends with in the future. I never invite the whole class to our parties. Just dd's friends.
I prefer taking her to parties where she has been specifically invited. (i.e given an invitation with her name written on the envelope)
As for the favors, I don't think you should worry about giving to siblings. They weren't the ones invited. I think parents will understand that.
Since we only invite friends to our parties we usually only have 8-10 guests. The parents never stay. I never stay when taking my dd to other peoples parties either. Unless it is a mother/daughter party I completely trust that the parents will have adequate adult supervision for the children that have been invited.

By Jann on Thursday, March 3, 2005 - 07:43 pm:

I think most parents wouldn't expect a non invited sibling to get a goodie bag.

By Tunnia on Thursday, March 3, 2005 - 08:22 pm:

Thanks! I just realized a little while ago while looking it all over again that I can add four more children to the party for about $10 (I had a 'duh' moment when I realized that it was so easy) so I'm going to do that so we can invite all the children in his class. There are only 10 children in the class (very small school) and I've known most of these children since they were babies. I think feelings would be hurt if someone was left out since we are all part of the same community.

I really do hope that the parents will stay because it's an outdoor party, we live at a lake and the party will take place near the water.

I'm glad you all feel that it would be ok to not have enough crafts or party favors for siblings. I wouldn't expect it for my uninvited child either, but it's always good to get other's opinions.

By Breann on Thursday, March 3, 2005 - 08:44 pm:

Tunnia, since you live at a lake and the party is near the water I would request parents to stay on the invite unless you are going to have enough adult supervision on your own. KWIM? I know I would appreciate knowing that my DD was going to be having an outdoor party at a lake.
Have a fun party! Sounds like it will be easy to add a few more giftbags. That is good.

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, March 3, 2005 - 11:17 pm:

I'm one of those that always seems to overdo everything so I always want to have something for all of the kids including the siblings. But so as not to have to buy another kit which I don't think I would do for siblings at that price, I might go to Wal-mart, Target or the Dollar Tree and get some little $1 item so all of the kids can go home with something. I might get a Pez dispenser or some sort of a party favor.

But even though I feel that way about my own parties for my kids, I have never felt slighted or ill at ease when I have had to take an uninvited sibling to a party. And my kids never expected anything if they weren't invited. It was just no big deal. They were always happy that they got to go play with other kids. For that matter my kids have never expected anything for being invited to a party. The treat bags were always a surprise to them at the end.

By Kathym on Friday, March 4, 2005 - 10:39 am:

I think it is nice you are inviting the whole class since it is so small. Our school asks that invitations be mailed if the whole class is not being invited but some boneheads still send them to school to be handed out. Even young children can get their feelings hurt. I only invited 5 of ds's classmates last month for his birthday but mailed the invites. Good luck with your party!

By Tunnia on Friday, March 4, 2005 - 10:46 am:

Thanks again! In place of traditional goodie bags we are having a pinata and I have decided to buy some extra candy to put inside so that siblings can participate in that, but I do not plan to order extra craft kits or dress-up items (it's a pirate party and we are getting eye patches, plastic swords, and self adhesive mustaches). I think it's all going to come together nicely. I just had a moment of unease when I thought I had a potential problem and it is so wonderful to have this board and other moms to come to with questions like this!

Now all I need to do is plan my dd's slumber party. I am only allowing her to invite three girls and I'm going to keep it pretty simple (a couple of crafts, pizza and a movie or two) so I'm not too stressed about it. At their age, they are more interested in gossiping and the boy obsession is starting *sigh* so I won't need to provide much in the way of entertainment. I'll just put them all in the family room and let them have fun.

If only my children were the same sex and closer in age I could have a joint party! LOL

By Reds9298 on Friday, March 4, 2005 - 10:51 am:

You could also just have a treat (candy type) for any extra siblings that might show up. They wouldn't get the same kit as the invited guests, but it could be a cheap back up. I also think it's okay to say something about it on the invitations. Also, as a teacher, (we don't have the 'whole class is invited' rule) I don't think parents should have to invite the whole class. That's ridiculous! I just suggest to parents that if they aren't inviting everyone that they pass out the invitations before or after school, or mail them, so it's not blatantly obvious to the other kids.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, March 4, 2005 - 11:58 am:

This is a suggestion for your dd's sleepover. 1 year, for Sarah's party, I made cupcakes and let the kids frost them themselves. I divided the frosting into 4 bowls and made pink, green, blue, and yellow. It was cool seeing how they all turned out. They each got 2 or 3 and every single cupcake was different. We took pictures! They had a blast!

By Tunnia on Friday, March 4, 2005 - 04:58 pm:

That's a neat idea for the cupcakes, Dawn. I think I may use that idea for a class party sometime. It would be neat to do for Easter and they could decorate them like Easter Eggs.

Erin has already decided that she doesn't want a cake. Instead she wants an ice cream sundae bar so they can build their own over-the-top ice cream sundaes. She wants ice cream, sprinkles, candies, hot fudge, whipped cream, and cherries. It sounds messy, but it sound like something the girls would enjoy doing and it's different so I'm going to let her have her ice cream sundae bar instead of making a cake this year. I will make a cake for the family party though. I don't think my Mom would be able to stand it if there weren't a 'real' birthday cake and candles on it for Erin's actual birthday.

By Annie2 on Friday, March 4, 2005 - 07:32 pm:

For a few of my dds' slumber parties for the craft I bought plain white pillow cases. I bought fabric paint (the squeezable bottles/fabric markers, etc.) and wrote on each one before the party: Mary's 8th Birthday, April 2nd, 1990, Boston, MA. Then I let the girls decorate the cases. They dried overnight and took them home in the am. The girls always had fun and had a great keepsake, too!

By Dawnk777 on Friday, March 4, 2005 - 11:54 pm:

The sundae bar sounds fun, too! (messy, but fun!). They made enough of a mess with the cupcakes, though, because I'm sure we had cookie sprinkles and jimmies everywhere!

By Meltonmom on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 03:06 pm:

After a few birthday parties, I have started taking the party favors and a few extra small toys and putting them in a BIG BASKET with a ribbon by the door, beside the basket is a stack of plastic goodie bags. As they leave the party, each child is encouraged to pick up a plastic bag, go to the "prize bucket" and pick out a few "prizes" put them in the bag and leave the party with the bag. That way:

1) each child get to pick a few prizes they want

2) each child gets a bag upon exiting and we don't spend the whole party keeping up with bags and small toys that all look the same (is this one mine???)

3) I don't have to worry if I have enough because each child picks the stuff they want.

Lots of folks in our church group/school group who have had birthday parties have really liked this idea and have started doing the same thing.

At a recent birthday party, the "gift box" included plastic army men, plastic bugs, party horns, a bag of small candies, party hats, party rings and little kid sunglasses....each guest had plenty and I always have leftovers....to me, it is just easier than trying to pack identical gift bags for each guest.

As for parents attendance, it depends on the party, but I always let the parents know they are welcome if they want to stay.....

M&M
Hope everyone has a good time!

By Tink on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 03:49 pm:

Great idea, M&M! I've got to remember that tip.