After talking to different friends, and reading different boards this had me thinking..DO any of you, or your husband think they "shouldnt" have to wear a condom because they are married? I didnt realize condoms came with a bad rep. What I mean is, we have used them mostly before my husband had his vasectomy. The pill gives me high bloodpressure, and I had tried that depo shot once and hated it. So, we had used condoms. I have heard many people say that their husband feel they shouldnt have to wear condoms if they are married.. Like condoms are only if you are going to be unfaithful or for dating? I realize people dont like condoms because "things" dont feel the same..I understand that point. I dont understand where they are coming from when men feel they shouldnt have to wear one if they are married..What do you all feel about this?

By Trina~moderator on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 08:12 am:

Wow, I'm glad my DH doesn't feel that way! We used condoms when I was breastfeeding and before DH had his vasectomy. Like you, I don't handle hormonal BC well so condoms were a good option. No, "things" didn't feel the same but they served the purpose at the time. We did NOT want to get pregnant. If my DH had that attitude (as you mentioned above) I wouldn't let him near me without one! LOL!

By Reds9298 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 08:22 am:

My dh hates using a condom but fortunately we only had to use one while I was pregnant and when I'm taking an antibiotic. I'm a faithful pill user! But my dh hates it. If I couldn't take the pill or other methods, I think it's his responsiblity and that's the way it goes, like it or not. Just my opinion.

By Jann on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 08:24 am:

I don't think that it's so much that they are 'dirty' as much as the sensation is very different.

By Anonymous on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 08:37 am:

Not only does my husband feel that way, so do I. Not so much that it is dirty, but in mind they weren't for birth control, but for prevention of STD's. I hate the way they feel, they irritate me. I hate having to use them. But I also know there are times that getting pregnant is not okay and they are our only option.

By Jann on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 08:59 am:

It's funny, I never even thought about it being associated with STD's. Guess that's the upside to be 'old', we only used condoms for birth control! LOL

By Juli4 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 09:41 am:

I just asked my husband about this because we do use condoms. He doesnt think that way at all but said that he doesn't think he should have kids because he has 3. So he is happy to use them and they do change the feel somewhat, but not enough to hinder anything.

By Elizabeth704 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 09:51 am:

Have you ever considered an IUD?
I had the Mirena placed 6 months ago after my daughter was born. It is good for 5 years with a very high success rate. There is also a ten year. It does not affect breastfeeding and can also help control heavy periods b/c it has a small amount of hormone. They can be removed at any time, if you decide to have more children.
I did this to avoid a vasectomy right now. My husband feels we are done - I think probably but not quite as convinced.
I like the IUD-its not something I have to think about every day. It was also cheaper. My insurance covered it with a $40.00 copay vs monthly birth control pills.
The only minor compaint is sometimes my husband says he can feel it during sex. My MD says it is the tail of the IUD (hair-like structure) but my husband says it is painful sometimes.

By Reds9298 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 10:09 am:

I don't notice any different feeling when we have to use a condom, but my dh says he can definitely tell a difference. I don't think they're dirty at all...I don't know why anyone would think that. It's a just another method of b/c that is a protector of STD's. Have you ever used the inserts? It starts with an 'E'-can't remember the name of it. You have to insert them about 5 min. before and it lasts for a while. We have used those in the past and they're great, too. Sorry I can't remember the name. PS Condoms are expensive too (guess it depends on how much you use them! )

By Reds9298 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 10:09 am:

Oh and what about the b/c patch? Would that work for you?

By Luvn29 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 01:30 pm:

I have a tubaligation, and have endometriosis, so we don't use condoms, but I was curious. One mother said they had to use condoms while pregnant. Why is that? Just wondering.

Also, I have been through all kinds of bcp's for the endo and cannot tolerate it, but I used the inserts before my tubal, and they were great. Little waxy feeling things, almost like a suppository, and it melts inside of you and kills the sperm.

Also, for those that cannot tolerate the pill, the NuvaRing is wonderful. It is a thin plastic "jelly-bracelet" like ring that is inserted inside of you over top of your cervix. It releases the hormones right where they need to be, so there is a much smaller amount. Also, it doesn't have to go through your digestive system, so it doesn't typically irritate your stomach. You wear it for three weeks, take it out, have your period, and then insert a new one. Or, as I had to do, you leave it in for a month, and immediately insert a new one to cease periods for a while.

By Breann on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 02:09 pm:

We use condoms as BC. I can't take oral BC, it really throws me for a loop.
Sure, it doesn't feel the same. But, like Trina said, it serves the purpose at the time.
When we are done having children, we will look into the vasectomy option. Then we won't have to worry about it any more.
My dh prefers sex without them (who doesn't?!?!), but we both agree that we will use them as necessary.
We are almost ready to TTC, so that will be a good break from condoms, lol.

By Reds9298 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 02:17 pm:

It was me about the condoms while pregnant thing! Just getting right to it...I was like the sahara desert while I was pregnant, although I was very interested in sex. We couldn't use lubrications because I always got a UTI, so we found that lubricated condoms worked and didn't bother me infection-wise. Just our way of working it out, not a dr. recommended thing or anything like that.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 02:36 pm:

We hate condoms, too. Ever since we tried it without a condom, now we are spoiled. I use foam and he pulls out if it's the ovulation time of the month. Once in a while, he uses a condom, so he doesn't have to pull out, but I don't like how it feels.

It works for us, since Emily is still the youngest and she is almost 13.

By Luvn29 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 03:03 pm:

Ahhhh....now I understand about the pregnancy thing. Makes perfect sense!!!

By Frasersmama on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 04:15 pm:

REDS9298 mentioned the bc patch, but they are the same hormones as bc pills,so if you can't tolerate pills, you can't use the patch either. My hubby and I use condoms and I don't notice a difference, of course he does but doesn't really mind because we aren't quite ready for babe #2. In fact, from a female perspective, they are much "tidier" afterwards than going without

By Luvn29 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 05:28 pm:

Frasersmama...I have threatened my hubby that we are going to start using them just for that sole purpose!!! LOL! I absolutely HATE the mess afterwards!

And both of us refuse to have the "wet spot", so we are always searching for a towel or something afterwards! hehe! May be TMI!!!

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 09:58 pm:

ROFL Adena... let's be honest, TMI or not, we all know about that one!

By Tink on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 10:53 pm:

We used condoms before I had my tubes tied. I used the Depo-Provera shot and ended up pregnant with my oldest, used condoms sporadically and had my son, used condoms and spermicidal inserts and got pregnant with my youngest. Since semen tends to leave me itchy and irritated, condoms were a must for us. Personally, I never minded the different sensation and my dh sometimes needed the extra layer. Wow, this post is full of TMI!

By Kaye on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 11:19 pm:

ROFL Tink...wonder what our hubbys would think of this post???

By My2cuties on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 12:26 am:

DH will wear them (when needed), they are uncomfortable but better than having a baby I suppose.

And Tink, I have the same problem, I have to take a bath after we are "together", it gets a little old when you are in the bath at 2am, but at least I am not irritated. And DH always sits in there with me while I take a bath..it's kind of like the ending to our night of romance...LOL

By Kayleesmommy on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 01:45 am:

I heard from one of my friends that the warming sensation condoms make it feel like you aren't wearing one. I have never used them since we don't use condoms but that is what she told me.

By Jackie on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 05:24 am:

Yes, I never minded the condoms either, I hated the mess as well LOL