We are heating w/ wood this year because our furnace died. It is time to buy more wood. My neighbor sells loads of wood for $95 a load. I figure I might as well buy from my neighbor, it has to come from somewhere right, and it would be a nice thing to do. We are not friends just wave at each other and chit chat a bit. We only moved in in May. She wants to give us the load of wood. I dont want to take her wood and short her family the $95, I think this is more than just sending cookies by. I also don't want to offend her by refusing her generosity. I was thinking of asking for a load of wood and if she says to just take the load that I would be comfortable taking $10 off the load but just couldnt accept getting the load for free. What do you think?

By Kay on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 11:02 am:

I can understand how you feel, but sometimes people just need the opportunity to do something nice for a neighbor.

Why not think of something else really nice to help her out? Does she have kids to keep sometimes? Could you make them an entire dinner to take over there?

Maybe she feels that she has been blessed and wants to 'pay it forward'.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 11:06 am:

I think I would offer to pay the full amount. If she refuses then ask her to at least accept a reduced rate. If she still refuses give her a BIG Thank You and graciously accept her kind, neighborly offer. Keep an eye out for ways you can return the favor in the future. That's what good neighbors do.

By Debbie on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 11:10 am:

Ditto, Trina.

By Kate on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 11:19 am:

Ditto, Trina.

By Audreyj on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 11:26 am:

There is a carismatic Christian principle (well, actually it is a Biblical principle) but I learned about it in the Carismatic Christian Church that we sow seeds when we have needs and that we reap what we sow...etc....maybe she is looking to give what she has in abundance. I would accept her kindness and then pray that whatever her greatest need might be The Lord would be as gracious to her as she was to me. Perhaps she is enjoying her opportunity to be generous. Isn't it fun when we have something (firewood, kid's clothes, toys our kids outgrew or whatever....) and we discover that we can help out someone else with what we have?? Let her enjoy herself. Thank her and then pray for her. God has something in store for her, she will be blessed and in the meantime, so are you....with free firewood! AJ

By Bea on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 12:04 pm:

I would accept her kind offer and pay it forward. I'd also try to return her kindness in any small way I could.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, February 5, 2005 - 08:45 am:

I think Trina has the best idea and AudryJ explains it very well, and I'll tell you why.

When I have an opportunity to help someone - either they ask or I see help is needed - I feel really good, and keep on feeling good for a long time. I would go out of my way to help people. So when I needed help and kept trying to avoid asking or receiving help, one of my friends pointed out that I was denying the would-be helper the opportunity to feel as good as I feel when I help someone and that was selfish of me. Learning to accept help graciously is not easy but I had to do it, and now I try to pass that lesson on to others.

So yes, give her the opportunity to be generous. And say thank you, and don't carry around uncomfortable feelings in your heart. At some point you will be either able to do something for her, or you'll be able to pass it on, and then you'll feel good.

Seems to me it is a win-win - you try to pay your neighbor, at least something; you give her the opportunity to feel good because she's done something generous and good; and you have the opportunity sometime in the future to do something for her or someone else to pay it back or pass it on.

By Missmudd on Saturday, February 5, 2005 - 09:50 pm:

Well she wouldnt take $ but she said she would like a few jars of my home canned tuna. I stacked the wood this am and left a doz jars of tuna on their doorstep while they were gone. So I guess it all worked out, I still feel guilty but I will just have to accept blessings as they come.