Okay I just want to see if this is just "my" pet peeve or if alot of people feel the way I do. Brendan's birthday party is being held on 2/12 in the evening, I sent out the invitations over a week ago. On the RSVP line I put "yes or no please to -----" (phone number) well I haven't had anyone call to tell me if they are coming the only ones I know who are for sure coming are the ones I sent the invitation to online and my family. It makes it REALLY hard to plan anything like food (I'm doing some sort of main food since it starts at 6) goodie bags, and/or games for the kids.

Is it just me or is it really rude? I ALWAYS let the hostess know if I am coming or not, and I even put it on the invite so I'd know who was coming.

By Kernkate on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 07:07 pm:

Christy I have found it that it seems like people reply the last minute. Did you put a date to RSVP by? I always put a date to reply by.
In the past 18 years of having birthday parties for my kids it just seems people wait till the very last minute to reply.
Best of luck it does get frustrating not having a exact count.

By Nanaoie on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 07:13 pm:

This is one of my biggest pet peeves,I hate it.You would think someone would have the brains to rsvp.It really ticks me off, and then they show up and act like nothing is going on.It makes it very hard to plan food wise,but, some people just don't care enough.
I have made sure that my 3 children know what it means and they better do it or I will kick behinds!

By Imamommyx4 on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 09:45 pm:

Raised 3 ds and now dd. Had a party last week for dd's 4th birthday. I bought party favors for 12 on the Friday before her Monday party. Over the weekend, it went to 19. Went to buy more party favors on Monday morning. I got home I had RSVP's for 3 more plus 2 siblings. I'm glad I had bought extra. I did not have anyone show up that had not rsvp's although one called and said they were coming and didn't and one called to say sorry that showed anyway.
Over the many years I have tried to learn to not let it bother me and to always get a few extra party favors for the kids. If it is food, I make for a few extra and if more than I expect show up, I pull out hot dogs and popcorn and Kool-Aid. It's about the kids anyway. Most of the time they don't care about the food or games you plan anyway. They want to play and just have fun. DD only wanted to open her presents. She had one bite of cake and a little ice cream. She was just too excited.
I know it's rude. And I generally try to rsvp by the requested date and I send thank you notes. I learned through example that is was polite to do those things. But for me I try not to sweat the small stuff. Maybe if some small bunch of us continue to try to do the right thing, maybe it will catch on again.

By Tink on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 11:24 pm:

I always RSVP. At my oldest dd's last birthday, we invited 12, didn't hear from anyone and had one person show and we had to pick her up. If I hadn't been perfect about it before then, you better believe I am now! Please, please, please RSVP! It only takes a moment of your time and can save the hostess quite a bit of aggravation and, in my dd's case, heartbreak. If I'd known ahead of time, we could have invited other friends (there was plenty of time) or planned an outing for just her and her friend. Instead I spent a fortune on a "grown-up" tea party and she was miserable.

I don't think there is anything wrong with calling the invitees a few days before just to check in. Many party places require a certain number of guests or put a limit on the number of people allowed and you are within your rights to know who to expect.

By Christylee on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 11:35 pm:

Thanks ladies, I did put on there by the 4th so maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit BUT I know from experience that I won't hear from at least two of them. I think I may make a few phone calls before I go shopping next weekend.

By Feona on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 05:31 am:

This is so common. Everyone hear has to call to get a real count. I guess it is rude but people are insanely busy around here. It is New York. I keep thinking I want to go but then I get sick two weeks before. am I going to get better? or not?

Then something else happens and I just hate to say I am going and not show up. That I think is rude, unless there is a emergency of course....

By Debbie on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 08:11 am:

Unfortunately, it seems that these days most people do not RSVP. When I had ds's last party, not one person RSVP'd. I ended up calling everyone. It ended up that about half were able to come, so I was glad I called. I just told them that I was preparing for the party and I was trying to get an accurate count of who was going to be there. I don't see anything wrong with calling people if you don't hear from them on the RSVP date.

By Bellajoe on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 08:44 am:

I usually end up calling the people and saying "You never RSVPed, do you plan on coming to the party? " or something like that. It is so RUDE that people don't RSVP. I always let people know if i or my kids are coming or not.

My friend had a birthday party for her ds for his 5th birthday. Her aunt never RSVPed. Then she showed up with her SIX kids! yes, SIX kids and never called to let her know they were coming. She was about to call and order another pizza, because it was almost gone since they were really late to boot. Her dh said "no, don't order another pizza. It's her fault we don't have enough food for them.

Anyway, it is rude and i hate when people dont take the time to call.

By Jackie on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 08:47 am:

I find it rude as well. I think I posted about a birthday party my daughter went to in Dec. The mom sent out 9 invitations and my daughter was the only one who showed up. She got one call on the day of the party saying they were going out of town, the rest of the people never called. It is very heartbreaking for the child I think. At least if the mom knows ahead of time that nobody is coming she can do some arranging that the birthday child is not sitting around "waiting"..

By Beth on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 08:58 am:

I just had a fourth b-day party for my dd. I was pretty lucky and everyone RSVP'd but one person. I think I had put on there though that I needed a head count. I agree its rude not to RSVP!

By Colette on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 09:07 am:

I think it is incredibly rude for exactly the reasons Jackie stated. I always tell people to RSVP regrets only, by a certain date.

By Cat on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 09:09 am:

I agree, it's rude and hard to plan if people don't RSVP. I usually end up calling people a day or two before the party to confirm.

Funny story about RSVP's. Randy for his last birthday party invited this one boy from his class at school (along with 4 others). This kid is bilingual (Spanish/English). My Spanish is limited and his mom's English is limited. Getting all the details of a sleepover and trip to LaserQuest was really interesting, especially since the kid had a soccer game on Saturday morning that his mom had to pick him up for and then drop him back off again so he wouldn't miss LaserQuest! lol We got it worked out though.