I have a friend who whants a divorce from her husband. He works out of town 99% of the time and she stays home with their 3 kids. He started bringing home pictures of women he had "met at the bar and they flashed their brests at him and he happened to have a camera" about 3 years ago. She tried to blow it off and be a "cool" wife but these were 21-22 yr old girls who had not popped out 3 children and looked way better than her. Then she got into his e-mail and found 200 e-mail of nothing but porn stuff. She can't take any more and in the course of all of this has fallen out of love with him and isn't even sure she even loved him to begin with. Well, tonight she finally told him she wants a divorce and he said he wouldn't give her one and he will never sighn papers. My question is, to anyone who may have an idea, can he contest the divorce and drag it out till she can't pay a lawyer any more or will a judge grant her a divorce regardless on if he signs papers or not? I mean, he can't make her stay married to him can he. If someone could get back to me on this soo I would appreciate it. She can't call a lawyer till Tuesday cuz that is when he will leave town again. Thanks to who ever can help!!

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 12:39 am:

I recently finished my divorce case, and my ex contested it by battling for custody of the kids. When I originally asked for a divorce he swore he'd never sign, and eventually I just left, and filed. Judges know stall tactics, and will rule against a person who is intentionally stalling without good reason. My ex refused to sign papers after the judge ruled, and though we are legally divorced we don't have our official decree. We are about to go back to court for a judgement against him. So basically, yes the judge can do whatever he or she pleases, and if she cannot afford an attorney she should go to legal aid ASAP. Also, when she files her attorney will request she be reimbursed by her husband for legal fees. We requested this in my case, but it was not granted (same for Nate's divorce) but I'd imagine it would be granted if the fees were exorbitant because of the husband's stalling. She needs to find out what the laws of her state are, and what grounds if any are required. In TX there is no legal separation, and "marriage is no longer supportable" is grounds enough for divorce.

By Debbie on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 09:06 am:

My neighbor just went through a divorce. Her dh was very contolling and said the same thing. He controlled ALL the money, so she went to legal aid and got a lawyer. Her dh has tried to drag things out, but the courts put a stop to it. Last week they finalized everything and she is suppose to sign the papers next week. So, in answer to your question. Your friend needs to go to legal aid as soon as possible. Her dh may try to hold things up, but she can get a divorce even if he doesn't want one.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 11:46 am:

The days of one spouse being able to deny the other a divorce are long gone, thank goodness. But, he can make it difficult, that's for sure. Yes, she needs legal aid. She also needs to get copies of those photos, download some of the stuff from the computer, and store the copies in a safe place away from the house - with a trusted friend, perhaps.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 11:59 am:

Too funny - the google ad says "husband for sale".

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 01:24 pm:

OMG Ginny, I hadn't noticed, but that is FUNNY! I wonder how much he costs! I wanted to add to Ginny's advice that in some states that evidence would be useless. TX isn't an adultery state, and even physical proof of all out adultery is generally useless in the end. However, you can record phone convos here, and a couple of those were submitted as evidence in my case. Never hurts to keep records of whatever possible.

By Kaye on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 02:31 pm:

Nothing to add, but my add says, "find your soulmate"..rofl

By Feona on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 06:21 pm:

Okay she need to see where he keeps his money and get copies of everything. Else he will hid his money. Copies of past taxes and everything.

Retirement funds...

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, January 28, 2005 - 10:35 pm:

Absolutely right, Feona.

By Kristie on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 11:48 pm:

Wonderfull advice Ladies, I knew I could count on you. I have been off line for awhile and didn't get a chance to read your responces till now. I will have her call legal aid. Wyoming is a no fault state so she dosent have to have a reason to divorce him but I think she has som every good reasons anyway!! Thanks for all the help guys!!
My google ad says "find a guide to cheaters".