I've talked about this here before but we're back at it. When Natalie naps now, it's for an hour to an hour and a half (my limit). On the days she naps, she isn't asleep until around 9:45 or 10pm. (In bed around 8:30 or before) The whole time complaining that she doesn't want to go to bed, etc. She never gets up. When she DOESN'T nap however (keep in mind I ALWAYS lay her down for a nap), she seems tired and slow-moving in the later afternoon and has a 30min. meltdown around 5:00-5:30 that is BAD.

I've put her down earlier (right after lunch, around 12:15) and she still isn't asleep until 1:15 or so and then I wake her by 2:30. Or I went through a period where I tried laying her down later (around 1:30) until 2:30. Neither way seems to help her at night. The only time she goes to sleep at her actual bedtime is when she doesn't nap.

She's been napping more lately but thus more problems at bedtime. She's been sleeping from around 9:30 or 10pm until about 7am. I also have tried just letting her watch a video for her nap. She's never fallen asleep for that and she still seems slow-moving and lacking energy after the movie rest.

I feel kind of stuck. When she naps, we have a great time in the afternoon and are busy, but falling to sleep at bedtime is SO late. When she doesn't nap, she's tired in the afternoons, has a breakdown, but then goes to sleep immediately at 8pm. When she doesn't nap, she lays in her bed and sings or talks to herself, usually re-enacting some Disney scenario.

I've never tried giving her a nap late (like 3:000 and then letting her only sleep 30min. or so. I do feel that she needs the nap, but then I wonder why she has such a hard time falling asleep on those nights if she needed the sleep?

I don't feel she's getting enough sleep at night these days, but not sure what I can do about it. I get too easily frustrated by the lack of routine in this area. I thought dropping the nap would be more obvious than this, so it's throwing me. She'll be 3 next month.
Thanks for listening.

By Cocoabutter on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 10:46 pm:

So it would seem that she gets too much sleep on the days she takes naps (doesn't go to sleep at night) and not enough on the days she doesn't (has a meltdown.)

You are doing everything I would do, but I see one thing left to try- getting her up earlier in the morning. This will assure that the total number of sleeping hours is fewer. She may be more ready for a nap and bedtime.

Eventually she will have to fall into a routine of sorts, but as I can tell you from experience, not every day will be perfect no matter how hard you try.

I am sure you have considered other factors. It's best not to give her anything to eat or drink after 6 PM. Movies and games stimulate kids rather than relaxing them. She may be more relaxed if the whole house is calm at bedtime (this worked with my son) like turning down the lights and turning down or turning off the TV.

My son was just over 3 when he gave up naps (much to my disappointment- *I* still needed the breaks!) Just one day, he said he wasn't tired and that was it. He only took naps on days he had been really busy and occasionally in the summer when he had been running around in the warm sun.

By Luv2fly on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 11:41 pm:

For awhile I moved my errands to the afternoon when dd #2 was likely to sleep and let her get a 15-20 min catnap. Sometimes it worked, sometimes she wouldn't fall asleep and we would have the 5 pm meltdown (my girlfriends toddler also had the 5pm meltdown, I think this is very common for this age group).

If she falls asleep during quiet time you could wake her after 20 min. My dd was extremely cranky at the time I woke her up (so I would do it very gently and have some little incentive, her favorite game, yummy snack, etc) but we found anything more than 20 min and she was up until 10pm.

This phase will pass!

By Tripletmom on Saturday, May 12, 2007 - 07:58 am:

We went throught the exact samething with Katie.We lucked out that she had her meltdowns at the same time so I planned her bath at that time.

By Vicki on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 07:32 am:

If you want to drop the naps, I can (almost) assure you that she will fall into that routine and the meltdowns will go away. When we dropped the nap, my MIL told me about the meltdown stage. Her meltdowns were at about the same time daily, so I made sure we were outside or involved in something fun at that time. I would say in about a week, no more than two, the meltdowns stopped and she was in the new routine of no nap. The evenings were important to me. I loved her bedtime and the chance to have adult talk time with dh or time to myself. The late night bedtime drove me nuts. It was easy for me to go through the meltdown stage and get an easier/earlier bedtime because that was my motivater. LOL

By Reds9298 on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 09:25 am:

Thank you to everyone. It's nice to know others have gone through the same thing! Vicki- I've considered dropping the nap completely, like we did when we went from 2 to 1 nap around a year. She was tired the first week then got into the routine. I ditto the evenings! She isn't up, but she is still talking, whining, or "needing" something until 9:45 and it gets old because you can't really relax. Last night she didn't nap for the first time in a week or so and dropped at 8. It was so nice! DH and I are still talking about dropping the nap completely. I'm still afraid that she's not ready, but if she's really tired for whatever reason, she can still nap when needed I guess, once we get into a "no nap" routine.

Thank you again ladies for the great suggestions!

By Vicki on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 09:49 am:

If you are concerned that she isn't ready to give them up, you might just find that she sleeps longer at night thus making up the sleep time as a whole. Once we dropped all naps, dd started sleeping at least 12 hours a night. She will likely adjust herself to get all the sleep she needs, it will just be all at once!

By Dana on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 02:50 pm:

My life got so much easier when I quit asking DD to nap and just figured my life w/ naptime piece was gone. My sanity returned once I gave in and DD was much happier too. She went from 4hr naps to NO NAPS much against my choice. As the others mentioned just plan the meltdown periods well and they should start to pass easily. Bath time is a great idea for a melt down.

By Reds9298 on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 03:36 pm:

Vicki - I know you're right. I think part of it is that it doesn't seem like she should be old enough to drop naps completely. And yes, a tad bit is for selfish mommy who likes the quiet time. (Even though she doesn't always nap, she plays quietly in her bed so it's still a bit of time to myself.) We might just cut out the nap...I think it seems like the best solution, as this has been a problem off and on for months. Always worried about doing the wrong thing!

By Vicki on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 05:36 pm:

Oh I hear ya! I HATED giving up that hour or two of me time during the day. It is amazing how much you can recharge yourself in that little bit of quiet time. But I hated the late bedtimes even more. LOL


Don't worry about doing the wrong thing. There is no right or wrong with this one. If it doesn't work out, you just try something else! Doesn't mean it is wrong!!