My ds is in kindergarten and goes to school 3 days a week. Everytime he gets off the bus and comes in the house, he starts crying because nobody sits with him on the bus. It's a 45 minute ride for him and my dd, that's a long time for a little guy to be sitting there by himself with no one to talk to, especially when everyone else around him is sitting with someone. I tell dd to sit with him once in a while but she usually ends up sitting with a friend, and then ds is mad at her for not sitting with him.

I don't want to make dd sit with him all the time, because I just don't think that's fair, although it would be nice if she did sit with him once in a while. I tell ds to ask someone to sit with him but it doesn't sound like he ever does. There are only a few kids on the bus that are in his kindergarten class, but he doesn't want to sit with them because he does not like them. That's fine with me because I know those boys and I'm glad ds does not want to be friends with them. They are the kids who always misbehave.

I really don't think there is anything I can do about this, but if anyone has any suggestion I'd be happy to hear them. I just hate for him to come home so unhappy all the time.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 04:54 pm:

I really have no advice, but have lots of hugs for both of you. That is kind of sad. Could he bring some kind of book, to look at, while he's on the ride home?

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 05:01 pm:

I forgot to say that while he is crying about being alone he is also saying "nobody likes me" (he can be a bit dramatic at times )and today he was calling his sister a bully which really cracked me up because he obviously has no idea what a bully is. I did ask him and my dd answered with "a bully is a person who pushes people down" which is SO not something dd would do.
I would suggest to him to bring his gameboy but I don't think they are even allowed to have those in their book bags. I don't think he would look at a book on the bus.

By Kaye on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 06:44 pm:

My dd has a similar personality. She just isn't outgoing and confident, which means sometimes kids just don't notice her. It is quite a bit better the past couple of years (she is a 7th grader). However in 1st and 2nd we had big bus issues. "Noone wanted to sit with me, I don't like so and so, etc" Sounds so familiar. So one thing we did was let her take a bus activity to school. A book, a coloring book, a magna doodle, etc. What is something he likes to do in the car, and pack it with him. Just have to find something he can only use on the bus. It saved lots of tears for us!

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 12:26 am:

Ugh. That pulls on my heartstrings. Poor guy! With a 45 min bus ride, it sounds like you guys don't live around a lot of the other kids? Maybe the other kids sit with each other because they happen to live close to each other or participate in things outside of school.
I would encourage him to try to make friends with one of them outside of "bus" time and maybe do some sort of extra curricular activity to get to know other kids.
And, it wouldn't be too much to ask if you wanted your dd to sit with him once a week. Maybe it's a good thing he doesn't have anyone to sit with him yet...a new kid just might move there and become his best friend!

By Cocoabutter on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 12:41 am:

At this age, it's hard to socialize sometimes, but they have to learn. My ds had problems learning to socialize when he first started kindergarten, but he ended up okay by the end of the year.

And my ds still does the drama thing, "Nobody likes me. Everybody says I'm stupid." Which, through asking him questions, I can get him to admit isn't true, he's just saying those things because he's upset or in a bad mood.

I had to ride the bus for 45 minutes when I was a kid, too. Lots of times I would ask my mom to take me in to school. And, lots of times I would come home on the bus with a headache. I started driving to school as soon as I got my license.

Maybe you could treat him once in a while to a ride home? Maybe just one day to break up the monotony of the week?

Maybe he has good days while at school, but the bus ride is so long for him that by the time he gets home, he's in a bad mood.

By Bellajoe on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 07:35 am:

"Maybe he has good days while at school, but the bus ride is so long for him that by the time he gets home, he's in a bad mood."


That's exactly it, i'm sure he has good days at school.

They have that long of a drive home because I think the bus route is so big. We actually live about 7 minutes from the school! There is only one other kid in our development that goes to that school and she is in fifth grade. The other kids go to the catholic school. He does have friends at school but of course not all of them ride the bus. There are boys in his class that are on his bus, but they sit together and not with him. He doesn't like them anyway. I think his maturity level is a little higher than the other boys in kindergarten. I mean he still acts like a 6 yr old, but he is a lot more well behaved than some of the other boys.
I'm glad he is only in school for 3 days a week and that this doesn't happen every day of the week. I think I will ask dd to sit with him one of the days he rides the bus.

He also complains that school is boring because he already knows everything they teach in kindergarten, which I don't think is 100% true. He does already know letters and numbers and how to read some words but he does not knwo EVERYTHING.
He probably just gets bored with the repetition.

"Maybe it's a good thing he doesn't have anyone to sit with him yet...a new kid just might move there and become his best friend! "

True! There are lots of LOTS left in this development, hopefully a nice, well-behaved little boy will move in near us and become his friend. THere is a house right next door that is still empty. We are hoping that a nice family with a little girl and boy my kids ages move in.

By Amecmom on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 07:47 am:

Maybe you answered this, but if you live so close to the school, why does he have to ride the bus at all? Could you pick him up?
We have a similar situation here with the bus route being 45 minutes, but the trip to school being less than 10. I drop my son off every morning, rather than putting him on a bus at 8:20, which would not be good for him.

Many afternoons, I pick him up anyway, but the trip home is actually short because the K kids come home on a little bus by themselves.

If picking him up is not an option, is there a friend who lives nearby that he could ride a different bus with and you could pick him up at the friend's bus stop?

I hope you can get it worked out. 45 minutes of misery is no fun for anyone, especially for a little one. Hugs to you both!
Ame

By Bellajoe on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 08:43 am:

This may sound mean, but I am not going to drive there everyday to pick them up. I did that when we lived right by the school (before ds went to that school). It just gets to be a pain, especially in the winter.

Next week I will be picking them up on Wednesdays because they are going to start having gymnastics after school. And I am going to ask dd to ride with him on Mondays, that way he will only have to sit by himself on Fridays.

Now I don't think he rides by himself TO school. I think they have assigned seats on the way to school, so he has someone sit with him then. And on Monday, which is his half day, he goes at noon so there are only kindergarteners on the bus and his friend always sits with him then.

By Amecmom on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 09:31 am:

Great! Sounds like you have it worked out!
Ame

By Debbie on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 09:47 am:

No, I don't think you are mean. My dks ride the bus. In the morning, they are the last ones on, so it is just a short 5 minute ride to school. But, in the afternoons, they are the last ones off, so it is about a 30 minute ride. They usually love riding the bus, but sometimes they complain because they get home later. But, it is a HUGE pain for me to pick them up. Parents start lining up about 45 minutes before school lets out, and the line takes forever to drive through. I just refuse to spend, 30 minutes to an hour sitting in my car to pick them up.

I think you have a great plan, to pick them up one day, and make your daughter sit with him one day. My oldest is quiet and a little more reserved then most dks his own age. He sounds a lot like your ds. I will say, it is getting easier for him to make friends as he gets older(he is in 3rd grade now). We just moved this summer, and I was so worried about him. My youngest is chatty, and very outgoing, so I tend to not worry about him as much. But, I was suprised at how easily he made friends here. So, hopefully, things will get easier for your ds too.

By Bellajoe on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 02:23 pm:

Debbie, we have the same deal here. People line up 30 minutes before school lets out, i think it's silly to do that. And i refuse to do it. Plus, I like having peace and quiet at home till 4:00 tee hee

The funny thing is, is that ds is usually very outgoing and is never shy. I'm surprised he doesn't ask someone to sit with him. But yes, i've got it figured out now.

Mine are the first ones on the bus in the morning and the last ones off after school

thanks for all your help ladies!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 08:47 pm:

I honestly don't think it is mean at all. He isn't being abused, he is bored and cranky by time he gets home.. Sounds like my DH...

By Kate on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 09:38 pm:

Can't you park in the parking lot and walk in the building to get him?? That's what I would do. It is what I do, in fact, every day, three times a day... That may be a better option for you. If it keeps on like this it may transfer into him not liking SCHOOL, as well, and then you've got a bigger problem. He's only in K...I'd help him out by driving him.

By Kate on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 09:39 pm:

BTW, what I meant by that was by parking in the lot, you can bypass the pick up line.

By Yjja123 on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 10:46 pm:

I pick up my friends kids 3 days a week and do exactly what Kate suggested (parking and getting them). I have also found that if I show up 10 minutes after the bell rings, I can almost drive right up and get them (instead of waiting in traffic so long). I cannot imagine riding a bus for 45 minutes after a full day of school.

By Bellajoe on Friday, March 23, 2007 - 08:11 am:

Yes, i do park and go get them when they have gymnastics. He's been riding the bus all year long and has not had this problem till recently. He and dd have never complained about how long the ride is either.

I am going to stick to the plan I have. Pick him up one day, have dd sit with him another day and then he sits by himself the third day. He says another kindergartener usually has a toy with him on the bus, so i will sent him with something to do on the bus too.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, March 23, 2007 - 10:30 pm:

When my kids had early-release days, since I worked at the school, they would come home with me, instead of taking the bus. It always seemed that by the time we collected both kids, talked to teachers, gathered up all their stuff, bundled up to go outside, that most of the after school pickup chaos would be over with.

Maybe it was a good thing, that my kids were so slow! LOL! I think that's why I never pushed them to hurry up, because there was no point!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 08:46 am:

LOL Dawn. Dh drives the girls to school, we live to close to the school for bussing. They can catch one but they have to go three blocks in the other direction to get on one, made no sense to us.. Anyway, he has it set up with their teachers, the girls stay after and help the teachers pick up the rooms and DH comes and get them 15 to 20 minutes after release... The traffic there is one huge mess at release because of the positioning of the school a lot of the kids live to close for bussing which means tons of cars and tons of people in a hurry to get out of there... Madness..

By Bellajoe on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 08:51 am:

He was all smiles getting off the bus on Friday because his sister sat with him. Of course she wasn't thrilled. But she'll be fine. I told her that she rides the buy 5 days a week, she can sit with her brother one of those days.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 09:38 am:

I'm glad he was happy, when he came home! It's a good character-building exercise, for your daughter. In life, sometimes you have to do, what you have to do, even if you don't like it.

By Debbie on Saturday, March 24, 2007 - 12:05 pm:

Glad it went well with your dd sitting by him. It sounds like he is more bored with sitting by himself, then having an actual problem with riding the bus. Hopefully, you will get some new neighbors his age that will ride the bus too.