Who uses it? Robin's SPED teacher loaned me a few CD's and a book (Teaching with Love & Logic) and since she's mentioned it several times and almost forced this loan on me, I'm thinking she thinks this will work for us. Robin's having a hard time getting his work done. At this point he'll have to work through spring break and still may not finish by the end of the year. Granted, that's finishing 100% for the whole year when he only started 2nd semester. He doens't HAVE to finish 100%, only about 60-80%, but he doesn't know that. If he doesn't finish 100% he'll have to pick up where he left off next year and some of the classes he has right now aren't 9th grade classes so that wouldn't work very well anyway. The problem I'm having is the only real natural consiquence of him not finishing his work is failing. Yes, I can tell him, "Gosh, I'm sorry you didn't finish and now you can't go/do _____" but anyone with a child like this knows that probably will just cause a fight. He's such a tough nut to crack! lol I wonder if I write to Jim Fay if he'll write me back. *g* I just want him to get his work done without a fight! Dh isn't any help and I'm seriously considering telling him (dh) not to even try to help with Robin's school work. It just ends up getting ugly. Heck, at this point any interaction between those two usually ends up getting ugly. *sigh* Any suggestions???

Dh's nephew (16yo) starts military school tomorrow. He ended up getting kicked out of his local high school for refusing to do his work and then getting nasty with a teacher. You wouldn't believe what they're paying for this! When my fil asked my sil how they were going to pay for it they said they're using the money they've been saving for his college. He wants to join the military anyway, so he's excited about it. I think after a couple weeks he'll have a change of heart. Maybe not--I hope not for his sake. Ugh! Kids!

By Melanie on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 12:57 pm:

I am a huge fan of Love and Logic. I find it to be an incredibly effective approach.

That said, I would caution you to really research it and understand what your goals are. He is an older child and he has special needs. If you jump in with both feet and just let him fail, he probably will fail and you will not find it brings you what you are looking for.

I am not sure what part of Colorado you are in, but the Love and Logic Institute is located in Golden. Every year they have week long seminars in Denver. I would encourage you strongly to go beyond listening to the CD's and actually attend workshops given by Jim, Charles, or Foster. You do not have an easy task ahead of you and if you are able to seek guidance directly from one of these three, I think your chance of success will be much higher.

I think the Love and Logic approach may be able to give you the tools you need to help Robin. It will take time and a lot of dedication on your part. But I truly believe his teacher is giving you sound advice by pointing you in this direction. Good luck!

By Cat on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 04:13 pm:

Ugh, there's a seminar tomorrow here in Colorado Springs!!! I can't spring that on parents with only one day notice, though. I did talk to someone at L&L and they suggested an audio specifically targeted for ADHD kids. She said they don't have anything specific for bipolar, but this should help me. I've put it and a bunch of other L&L material on hold at the library. Most is available and I'll pick them up Thursday when the bookmobile is out here. I'll have lots of reading and listening to do this weekend! lol She did tell me they should have some more seminars starting in May so I'll have to keep a lookout. I know I have the basic book around here somewhere (if I didn't give it away). I'll have to look some more.
Thanx for the tips, Melanie.

By Melanie on Tuesday, March 13, 2007 - 10:55 am:

I hope you find some things that work for you. If you have any questions about the books and cds, I am happy to try and help. I've been using these techniques since before Peyton was born so I am pretty comfortable with the method. The nice thing about the cds is that they are very fun to listen to. They are done in conversation form so they are not dry (with the exception of the very first book). Enjoy!

By Mommmie on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 11:46 pm:

I'm currently reading Love and Logic - Parenting Teenagers. I haven't read a lot of it yet. I used it, sortof, when my son was younger. His ADHD doctor suggested it when he was in kindergarten. I like the idea of natural consequences, but since my son is special needs (LD and ADHD), I don't think it's possible to be a L&L purist.

Have you read The Explosive Child? I thought that was helpful during the difficult toddler and preschool years. I don't know about the teens years, bec luckily the raging stopped when he was 5. Another book that has helped A LOT in a weird sort of way is The Nurture Assumption. I'm actually reading the chapter on "problem kids" for a 3rd time the last few nights and I'll probably re-read the whole book. It really gives you a whole different view of raising kids.