Soothe nightmares?
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Soothe nightmares?
I had a friend in my mom's club who asked about this. Are there any techniques that work to soothe nightmares?
When kids freaked out in the middle of the night, we usually let them crawl in bed with us. Eventually they don't freak out anymore and they get bigger and it doesn't happen anymore. I kind of miss those days.
You know, I have to take it one nightmare at a time. Sometimes one of my children will want to talk about it. Other times they are just too terrified to talk about it and thinking about it makes it worse. I either crawl into bed with them, or let them crawl into bed with me and soothingly "pet" them. Play with their hair, lightly rub their back. Basically just keeping contact with them so they feel secure.
My ten year old had one the night before last that had her more afraid than I can ever remember. It reminded me of something off of sixth sense, though she has never seen that movie. She was on her top bunk, and was sitting up and I was standing on the bottom bunk talking to her, and she would only whisper and tell me she was afraid to tell me because "they" might come. I finally got her to let me know what it was because she was too scared to move. She said dead people were all around and some were good and some were bad and they would just stand there staring at you. She said they were everywhere. It gave me chills the way she said it. And the entire time she was whispering and she had a look of sheer terror on her face.
I finally convinced her that God wouldn't allow things like that and He would protect her, and that she was just dreaming, and she came down so I could lay with her on the bottom bunk. Ds happened to be in our bedroom on the floor because he was sick...
But long story, short...I always play it by ear, but I always soothe them and let them know I'm not going anywhere till they feel safe again.
Adena that's sort of weird because the night before last my dh had a nightmare. He was making sounds in his sleep, so i just patted him to get him to 'calm down'. That's when he sort of woke, turned and tried to punch me. Of course he was still sort of asleep and was not really trying to punch ME. And immediately he stopped and apologized and asked if I was alright. I was fine because he just grazed me. Anyway, he said he was fighting ghosts! I guess the ghosts were out that night!
It was really weird because i have never seen my dh try to punch anything or anyone. He must have really been freaked.
BTW, could your dd have seen the sixth sense or some other scary movie at a friends house? That really sounds like a scary dreams and something out of the movies. I bet she was scared!
I agree with everyone else, Heidi. You can't make a nightmare not come, but you can just sit by the or lay with the child and soothe him/her. Once my child is relaxed I give them a good thing to think about while going back to bed. I tell them to think of eating a ice cream cone on a nice day, Disney World, Swimming at the beach, Going to Sesame Street, etc.
My friends little boy DOES see ghosts.He has seen things since he was a baby.Its hard for her to take him anywhere because what doctor will help you with ghosts.I've never dealt with nightmares.If Katie was ever scared when she woke up we always just told her to come to our bed.She has come to our bed a few times but it doesn't happen often.
Even up until recently, Emily would be sleeping and would all of a sudden cry out. I used to go in by her, but my presence didn't seem to help, so I stopped. She would just cry out once, and go back to sleep, if she even was awake. I don't know if she was even awake. It hasn't happened in a long time.
Goodness, there are a lot of great, loving moms here!
Adena, I'm sorry your dd had such a terrible dream. Patti, you son's dream sounded pretty scary, too. Sometimes I am so surprised by some of Lara's dreams. Fortunately she no longer has the night terrors. I can rock her back to sleep now, but when she had those, I actually had to get her up and more awake to bring her out of them. Patti, I do as you do! I help Lara think of a happy thought before she drifts back to sleep.
It's strange this topic came up. I had one of my worst dreams ever night before last. If you've seen "Flushed Away", there is the scene where the lead mouse (LOL, don't recall his name) is first flushed down the toilet. Well I dreamt that Lara and I were immersed in water in just the same way, going through a tunnel of sorts. Lara cried out to me just before we went under and the water cut her voice off. It was so awful. I had to get up and sit outside on our porch for awhile and get myself in a different mind set before going back to sleep. I'm sure the experience of the over flowing toilet had a lot to do with that nightmare. Yet, I may never watch that movie again, LOL!
Was there a full moon the other night?:-/?
I don't have an experience with children's nightmares. But I have had a reoccurring nightmare for the past several months. It is such a strange one and doesn't have any meaning to it. The nightmare is I'm asleep in bed and suddenly wake up and try to move. But I can't because a weight is holding me down. I can't see anything because the room is completely black. I try to yell out for help by I can't speak. Then I will wake up and be in the same sleeping position that I was in in my nightmare. I'm afraid to move for awhile after waking up.
justanaunt...sounds like a type of adult night terrors. Look that up on google and you'll see that there are a lot of people who share that feeling with you.
I only know this because of the research I have done on night terrors because my daughter has had them since she was a baby...
Nightmares and Night Terrors are two different things. My kids occasionally have nightmares, and will come into our room looking for us. They remember the dream and are able to talk about it. DH or I will tuck them back into their beds and gently talk them through it. That's usually enough for them to go back to sleep.
DS used to get night terrors as a toddler. He would scream and thrash around in bed, but was incoherent and wouldn't respond when we tried to talk with him. We would sit on his bed and keep him from hurting himself and wait for it to subside. He would not remember it at all the next morning.
More info:
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlersleep/142.html
I know with Randy a lot had to do with what he experienced during the day and especialy in the hours leading up to bedtime. He didn't have to see or hear something scary, but if he was agitated or under stress, he was more likely to have a nightmare.
We went throught the whole ghost thing here, too. It was at the point where my husband half-believed our son was really seeing things. I refused to go there, just because it freaked me out too much.
My advice:
Good predictable bedtime routine. Nothing too stimulating or exciting at least two hours before bed. Also a regular bedtime. A child who is overtired is more likely to be stressed and more likely to have poor sleep.
Nightlite in the room, temp. not too hot.
Sit in the room with the child in the "nighttime" lighting and discuss what he/she sees. This way you can explain shadows and such.
Feel good betime stories.
Prayers/good thoughts about people (for those who don't pray).
If the nightmare happens anyway, sooth the child. Ask questions if you can. Help him/her see that it was only the brain's way of making up stories while he/she was asleep. I wouldn't take the child into my bed. You're just setting a precident that you really don't want to have to keep following. If you have to stay with the child until he/she feels comfortable, then do.
Randy used to have a lot of nightmares. He has a very active imagination. Because we did what we did, he's able to wake up from a nightmare, feel comfortable in his own bed, in his own room and go back to sleep on his own. He has a really bad one once in a while and one of us will need to go to him. Most times, he just tells me about it in the morning if he had a nightmare.
Ame
|
Members
