Alright toddler parents...
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Many of you have posted about this in the past...what worked for you? Or, should I just ride it out?
I have a feeling Connor is trying to push my buttons. I try to give him choices in things so that he feels in control and this has worked in the past. Except lately, I grow VERY impatient when I ask him (for instance) "Do you want your blue choo choo or your red choo choo?" He says "BLue" so I give it to him and then he cries and whines and says "NO, RED!" He does this throughout the day with everything!!!!!!!!!! And, if I don't give him any choices at all, he still cries. I think he cries probably 20 times a day and it's getting sooooo old.
Tonight, he wouldn't eat dinner again so I said "Are you all done or are you going to eat?" He says "Eat" but instead he just complains about his food. So, I put the food away in the fridge and he goes ballistic. I gave him 15 minutes to eat...I'm not going to wait all day. So, after his 20 min movie, he realizes he is hungry. Therefore, bathtime was AWFUL.
I felt bad but I just started to cry...he kept rubbing my back saying, "Ok mommies ok mommies"...he makes me frustrated and then he MELTS me.
Remind me to stick to my guns???? Any strategies to offer? I'm going to blow a gasket.
Hugs Heidi - keep reminding yourself he's little. That's what I do when Helen gets my horns twisted. I try to remember that every experience for her is new. When she tosses her cup, or rips paper, she's experimenting. Yes, even when she draws on my diningroom wall with a Sharpie, she's just experimenting.
When Connor does his thing, he's testing limits, he's experimenting. Just be consistent in your response. If he gets the same response each time, he may be less likely to try the same trick more than ten times or so  .
That's just my two cents. Keep hanging in.
Ame
A very trying age LOL Just stick to your guns,its sounds like your doing everything right.There's going to be consequences to every choice he makes.I'm going through this right now.We are having alot of meltdowns right now.I also give my guys 15 minutes to eat and most times they are done.I've never let the boys see me have a melt down though.I've given myself a few timeouts and it seems to put things back into perspective.Soon enough he'll be on to something else to make you second guess yourself.LOL Hang in there,your doing great.
"...Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget..."
But I remember very clearly, 20 tantrums a day! I was so there! Holy cow. It was horrible. You have my full and total empathy.
Oh Heidi, I hear your frustration. I wish I was there to give both you and Connor a hug. I have had a few meltdowns in front of Lara. I use the occasion to let her know I am human and have feelings, and honestly, I think it has helped our relationship. She learns it's okay to cry sometimes and we talk about the feelings.
I'm reading a book that is helping me understand Lara so much better. She is highly sensitive and the sensory issues come in to play with her at mealtime as well. The book I am reading is "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It has helped me so much already. She has a whole chapter just on mealtime. She starts the chapter with this quote: "Heaven forbid you take the Wheaties down for him. If you do, you have to put it back up on the shelf and let him take it down or he won't eat." -Martha, mother of four. Lol, this is my Lara.:-|
Perhaps you have heard of the book, but I just thought I'd mention it because it has such helpful information about dealing with toddlers and preschoolers who just go through the normal stages but who are just more intense, persistent, and sensitive.:-) Hugs to you, Heidi.
Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka 
To echo Nicki, this book has been a tremendous help in our house! In fact, I think it's time to pull it out again for a refresher.
(((Heidi)))
Ditto, Raising Your Spirited Child. I got this book several years ago because Trina recommended it. It helped so much. I still pull it out from time to time.
Oh I hear you! Christopher is so much like that. He is bad about his older brothers and sister. First he wants them to play with him then he wants them to go away and no matter what toy one of them has he thinks they should hands it over to him or he throws a fit. It gets old very fast. When it is just me and him during the day while the others are at scool it isn't so bad but as sonn as they come home it starts and doesn't stop until bed time.
Thanks so much for that book suggestion. I read an excerpt online and it really sounds like Connor. I remember from 12 mo to when he turned 2, he wouldn't transition well and hated getting in the car. He just loves staying at home and I often feel trapped.
I will buy this book or get it from the library and see what else I can learn!!
Thanks you guys...I hate that I get so frustrated. I get more bitter when I know I'm all alone in raising him.
Heidi, Lara resists getting ready to go anywhere, now! It is such a challenge. She loves it once we are on the road, but getting her to that point, well sometimes it doesn't happen. In fact, we didn't make it over to her grandma's house on Christmas Day. She was all excited to go, but once it was time to get ready, she didn't like the feel of the outfit I had set out for her. We settled for something more comfortable. Then she wouldn't brush her teeth. It went on and on. Finally she broke down in tears and said she wanted to stay home with mom and dad because grandma's would be too loud. She was right, it was going to be a house full. Dh went on his own, and I stayed with Lara at home. The next day I got the book. I was so worried about her, and having a hard time explaining it all to my MIL. I actually started crying with relief in Barnes and Nobles once I started reading it. The book is my new friend.:-)
Heidi, I can't imagine raising Lara on my own. Of course you feel bitter. You have your limit, too, but there is no one to turn to at those times. I'm so glad you feel you can come here to talk. We all care about you so much!
Heidi, we are so there with you right now! I just try to remember that he is just little and I try to smile when all this is going on. Smile right now and see how you feel, it really helps me stay calm and focused. It's easy to lose prespective and hard to remember that they are just little.
We had such a hard time putting Matthew to bed tonight.
DH "Do you want to pick a book"
Matt "NO! NO BOOK!"
DH "Okay, no problem, no book, let's go to bed, give mommy a kiss"
Matt "NO I WANT A BOOK"
DH "Ok which book"
Matt "NO BOOK!"
This went on and on, no book, no kiss, want a kiss, want a book, read the book twice, want to sing songs, no songs, want to sings songs ....
He wanted a pull up to sleep in not a diaper so we had to put a pull up and then a diaper over top. It's just crazy. DH was getting super frustrated so I started being silly just to lighten the mood.
We ended up leaving poor Matthew alone in his bedroom to cry it out. He's sleeping now but I could hear him up there crying "Sing songs" over and over again.
All I can say is try to stay calm and when you can ignore the bad behaviour. I find giving choices when they are in a super frustrated state gives them too much power. It's such a tough time for them.
Nikki and Heaven...all I can say is "aaaahhh, I'm not the only one".
You know, it's just so nice to know that. I don't have a coherent mother or girlfriends nearby to relate so I just really appreciate the stories you tell.
I wish I had a tag-team member...I will always always always remember the support you guys have given me. You give me HOPE!!!
ps- I'll let you know how the book goes. I'm really excited about reading it!!
I remember the days....all I can offer is as they get older it changes Not always better, but at least different!
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