I am so frustrated with my life right now. This too shall pass, I know. I have just had 2 weeks of turmoil. All small things, but just constant. I am finally just beaten down, I am exhausted and there is much to do. Here is my short list of issues in the last 7 days. My middle kid is having big issue with his arthritis. New meds, new diagnosis, all difficult for me. In school he is a mess. He is doing just very little of his work. It really isn't because he doesn't feel well, just he doesn't see the point. Not bringing stuff home. So I am having to be the heavy and he just hates me. He is so full of anger with me. This morning when he was glaring at me because he is once again grounded, I asked him, why are you mad at me? He just said I am too mad to even talk. I did make sure I told him that he was angry at the wrong person, I was not the one who made the bad choices. My daughter, ugh, she too is not turning in stuff, it is testing week for semester, so grades are due. I think she is going to fail a class due to zeros. I hate it, but again all I can do is remind her, push her, but ultimately she has to learn from her mistakes. She is hoping to make the golf team, but if she fails she can't play. Tough lesson to learn. Again she is in tears over everything. We also have been having issues with cleanliness, personal and living space. So a month ago I finally had to tell her I am no longer doing your laundry. She has done it once since then. She really needs to do some, she is starting to run out of clothes, I suspect she is rewearing jeans. I have reminded her and reminded her that it is her job and she ought to do a load. She ignores me. UGH! My youngest, we have been on 2 adhd meds in the past month, we have had 1 anaphylatic reaction, one bad watery eyes, and 1 case of hives. We go back to the doc to try again...ugh. In the meantime he is struggling in school. The meds really helped, he just can't tolerate any so far, so it makes it more frustrating for the teacher to see where he could be and where he is. Not fun for mom either.

So I am mentally exhausted, so the house has just fallen apart. Today I am going to take control, or at least try.

I am going to print up chore charts for the kids, seems a little silly for my 13 year old. But we need to have some very firm consequences and the only way for me to monitor without losing it is to count stars. I think I will make them turn them in on Fridays for redemption. Things like tv time, or computer time. Because right now, they get NONE. Which is why they are all so mad at me! I told them today, that until they caught up with homework they are not to be more than 6 feet from me. There are plenty of tables to be downstairs and work at (not upstairs at their desk) and then after I have looked at everything they could move upstairs to cleaning. That this week was not about fun, it was about work, and if I caught them not working upstairs, they would lose the priviledge of being up there with out me. I don't really want to hang out up there, but I will. sighhhhh....I just needed to get this out. Back to your regular schedules!

By Kate on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 09:53 am:

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. It sounds very difficult and emotionally draining. Do you have a husband or some other support to lean on? Wishing you the best and some fast turnaround on these issues...

By Tripletmom on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 10:04 am:

Why not call a family meeting!! Sounds like everyone is just plain unhappy I think in the meeting you should explain that they are old enough to help out because you can't do everything yourself anymore.You NEED to be consistent.They sound like they are at the ages where the world revolves just around them-thats usually a rude wake up call when they find out its not.Your son with the JA might be mildly depressed it's no fun hurting and not feeling well all the time,the less stress in his life might help with his pain and mental level.We have family meetings in our house when we notice alot of yelling and sauciness(sp) starting.We always talk to our dk's with respect and respect their feelings.It's never too late to start a chart of any kind.Homework is our first priority with our DD,it has to be done as soon as she get in the door.Good luck, if your consistent it will work.A family that works together is a family that plays together.

By Tink on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 10:19 am:

{{{Hugs}}} I can feel how mentally and emotionally exhausted you are. We had a time similar to this when we were having school issues, obedience issues, school issues and health issues all of a sudden. Like you, I chose to crack down and kept the dks near me for EVERYTHING and, ultimately, it did help. I think my dks had just gotten into a series of bad habits and me cracking down on them seemed to move them back to the way I expect things to work in our home. I did call a family meeting so that everyone (including DH) knew what page I was on and how I was going to respond and then I held on for a nasty ride. There were several nights that the dks barely beat me to bed because I was so wiped out and a couple of times that I cried in bed because I HATED being so strict but it's made a huge difference and I'll do it again in the future as needed.

{{{Anon}}} I know some of the things you're dealing with right now and that would be overwhelming in the very least. When things start looking up, take a day to treat yourself!!! You're going to be working hard.

By Debbie on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 01:08 pm:

{{{hugs}}} You are dealing with so much, no wonder you are exhausted. Hang in there. It sounds like you have a good plan to get things back on track. Your dks may "hate" you now, but it will be so worth it!

By Kaye on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 02:02 pm:

LOL..not sure why that was anon. I guess I have trouble clicking post! Anyway, it is me.

So my little guy went back to the doc this am. She was great. I love my doc, but I have had my share of bad docs. She wrote down a full fledge allergy to methampedamines and so we are going to try stratera. She also hooked me up with some homepathic types to look into some alternative options. And then good news the gifted teacher called and my little guy did officially qualify. Whew! We knew it would be close given his special needs, but we really needed that card to play out for us. It was a good, but long morning here.

We have been having weekly family meetings with no change. My older kids are really at a point they just ignore me. I don't really want to crack down, but I know I just have to. It will be exhausting work, but they just don't seem to get it. It makes me sad for them, the past month I have been really going out of my way to plan some fun things, since they have been in so much trouble during the week, I have really stuck by sat being family fun day, and they eeek by and get stuff done just in time to not cancel, but really that just isn't good enough. I know it is my job to teach them, but I do just wish for a couple of weeks they could kick it into gear. I wish they realized this isn't any fun for me either.

I look back and really miss those preschool years They might of been wild, but at least they still thought mom ruled. It is a tough change to watch them not like you anymore...this too shall pass.

By Tripletmom on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 02:34 pm:

((((HUGS))) Kaye.I feel for you,but like you said its not too late.They are still children and I wouldn't tolerate ignoring or rudeness from a child that lives in my house.If you can't deal with it or its not working can you maybe get counselling outside of the home? Have you tried taking one child out at a time for dinner.It's amazing what a little one on one can do......I hope you get it figured out soon

By Cat on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 02:36 pm:

Gosh, this looks SO much like what I just posted on the other board earlier! I was just thinking this morning it'd be nice to go back about 8 years and have them be 3 and 5 again. Yes, wild but at least they did what they were told for the most part. I even talked to my mom and said, "Should I just let them fail the 6th and 8th grades so they'll learn?" THAT would be a tough lesson, especially for my 6th grader. When I was young, I loved school. It was easy for me and I had a lot of fun. It should be easy for both my kids. They're both SO smart! Now I hate school and I'm not even in it!
You and I will get through this, Kaye, I'm sure. I just wonder what it will take with these kids. *sigh*

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - 09:11 pm:

Don't forget to take time for yourself too, Kaye. This is me and *only* my situation, but I remember I started to get an attitude with my mom when I noticed that she didn't take care of herself first.
Go for walks and train for a 5K or something small, or take a challenging class...make them appreciate the time they have with you. They will gain a healthy respect of you because you have a life outside the home.

You're a good mommy, Kaye. You're also a good *person* too!

{{{Hugs x's Infinity!!}}}

By Kaye on Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 03:38 pm:

Well I thought my dd was all caught up. I emailed the teacher today, just to double check. Turns out she didn't turn the stuff in she did at home! UGH. We are having a group meeting afterschool today, sounds like a fun time to me!

By Cat on Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 10:05 pm:

Kaye, how did it go?

By Kaye on Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 10:08 pm:

Okay well she had turned in 1 of the papers, claims to of done so with another one, but a month ago. One she had half done and in her back pack. So she finished up the one paper, the second paper that she was very mad about, saying he lost it, she did very quickly, since she knew the answers already. I figure she did actually do it, but lost it in her locker. Lots of tears were shed today, but I think she just needed to have her little meltdown. Afterwards she was much better and much more pleasant. Turns out she made the second highest grade in this teacher's subject on the final (7 classes, 50 students each), so he was more concerned that with the 2 zeros she had a C. If it weren't for homework my daughter would be an a student, in all subjects. Anyway, the teacher was very nice to her, she was in tears and very embarrassed. Point for mom

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 10:24 pm:

Yeah, Kaye! I don't know how you keep up with all of it!!

Kaye=Supermommy

By Tripletmom on Friday, December 15, 2006 - 08:53 am:

Ditto Heidi

By Cat on Friday, December 15, 2006 - 11:48 am:

Kaye, my kids are the same--they'd be A students if it weren't for homework (and other silly little things they get grades for, but that's another vent). Maybe an impression was made for your dd. We can only hope, huh? Great job, Mom.