I have been just so sad lately about my son's behavior at "school"..daycare. He recently moved up into the next room bc he now goes pee pee on the potty. I guess it's been about a good month he's been in the older room. Well, I must say that I absolutly love his teachers. I really do. I don't know what is going on with my son..he has just been getting into trouble at school. I have been dreading going in to pick him up bc it is always bad news when I get there. Last week as I was talking to his teacher I started to cry. My son Evan is a very active..all boy..3 year old. The last time I posted something on here was about him talking back to me and getting nasty. Well, that kind of is still happening, but no so bad. But, his teachers say he talks back to them. They say he will be asked to do something and he just says "why" or he just smiles at them. When they try to repramand (sp?) him, he smiles at them. Which they get frustrated by. I can't blame them either. He has been taking his shoes off which is a no no. When they give him a cup at snack time he either smushes it or dumps it on the table. He is disruptive during circle time. I really don't know what to do. I appreciate them being so honest with me and I love how we have such open communication. And I told them I am willing to try anything to help them. I don't want my son to be the "bad" kid at daycare. I have worked at day cares before years ago and I know what it's like and I know that kids do get labeled. I want them to enjoy Evan and I want Evan to have a positive experience there as well. My ex husband is involved to, I have been talking to him often about everything. Evan also has a half brother who is 10. And I remember when he was in daycare, he had a ton of behavior problems. I am so afraid Evan is taking after him. What do I do? How can I make this better? How do I stop Evan from causing so must frustration to his teachers? Please help me. I am stressing over this so bad. I just want to be able to go and pick him up from school and not have to stand there for 15 minutes talking about how horrible his day was. I will take any advice I can get. Thanks so much!

By Mommmie on Monday, November 6, 2006 - 02:00 pm:

I'm really sorry and can totally empathize. Do you have alternative schooling available? Looking back on my own son's troubles I wish I had sought out a specialized school for my son during the preschool years. We have some private schools here where parents can enroll kids having behavioral troubles and with a super low ratio and specially trained teachers, the kids really blossom and the bad reports stop.

Does the half brother have any diagnosis? Things like ADHD are genetic. Have you considered having the school district do an evaluation and then possible getting a placement in a special ed preschool? I think it's important to get the right teachers in there.

Try not to stress, but I know it's hard not to. I used to leave work early, stop by a bar and drink half a glass of wine before picking up my son when he was in the 2 and 3 age range. Luckily I didn't get a lot of bad reports. The director only approached the parents with the most serious issues. Still though his age 2 teacher said he was okay at daycare, but when he hit kindergarten I was in trouble. I was mad at the comment at time, but she was dead on right. I really wish I had sought out a special school. He is in one now, started in 3rd grade, now in 6th and he really should have been in this school when they first start taking kids - which is age 3.

Don't blame yourself. Kids are just hard-wired differently. In the nature v. nurture debate, nature wins.