My name is Jennifer and I am new to this site and I am seeking any advise given. Here is the situation. My son Hunter is 3 and has been so good until about middle of May. (He tuned 3 May 6th.) Till then I used love and logic and it worked like a pro. All I would have to do is in my saddest voice say "oh no that is so sad for Hunter" he then would appolige and start crying and I would only have to say that about 1 time every 2 weeks or so. We never had any problems picking toys up, going to bed, bathtime, at school or anything. It seems tough as over night he totally changed now he laughs at me when I say that, time out doesn't work ( he will sit in one place until you tell him to get up and turn around and look at you and do it again), a sticker chart worked for 2 weeks then the rewards weren't good enough(week 1 ice cream, week 2 chucky cheese, his teacher at school uses a strip chart and his color gets changed and it doesn't phase him, I spanked and raised my voice to him for the first time 2 weeks ago( I felt horriable I can't do that again) any way I don't know what else to do. He used to be the most affectionate young child now he gets this look on his face and deliberatly hurts someone or something then laughs. When he gets punished for doning it he tells them he is sorry and starts crying, but the next day it is all over again. Please let me know what I am doing wrong.

By Vicki on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 08:21 am:

Welcome to the wonderful age of 3!! I have always said who ever came up with the phrase "terrible two's" was off by a year. Two's were nothing, 3 was pretty much a nightmare! My honest opinion is that he is testing his boundries and trying to push them. I would actually go back to your love and logic system since he knows it so well. The key is to use it consistantly without fail everytime. Do not stray from it at all. If you stray from it, he instantly sees that as a victory for him and learns that he can wear you down and get what he wants. LOL They are really smart at this age and forget nothing like that. LOL You will have to do it over and over and over, but everytime you do, it re-enforces the rules to him and soon, he will stop trying to push it.

The bit of good news is that at least with my dd, she turned back into her old self almost on her 4th birthday. LOL Turned into a monster at 3, back to me sweetie at 4 almost like clockwork. So... this might only last about a year for you. LOL

By Mommmie on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 11:24 am:

I found that reward chart, stickers, whatever stuff did not have any kind of long term benefit at all. It was very very short-term.

I don't have any specific advice. My son is 12. Generally speaking, though, stay flexible and you may have to adjust your parenting style as he grows and changes. I found things improve a lot at age 5.

By Coopaveryben on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 10:43 pm:

I agree with the sticker chart, it has never had any lasting effect for my children...I also decided why should I reward them with "stuff" because they acted in a way that they were supposed to. I do believe lots of verbal praise goes a long way.

I would also stick with the Love and Logic. Like Vicki said consistancy is the key to any effective discipline. I have three boys and 2 who are very strong willed, they will test me at home and then everywhere in between to make certain the same rules apply at school, the grocery store, church, wherever. It will pass as long as you handle but if he is anything like my boys it will not be overnight. I guess what I am saying is don't get frustrated, just stick with it. Good luck, I have been there with my oldest who is so well behaved and well mannered now and am going through this same thing with my youngest now.

By Amecmom on Saturday, October 14, 2006 - 04:23 pm:

Welcome! Just to throw this in ... every time I have seen an about-face behavior change in my children, there is something wrong, either physically or emotionally. My children never get fevers. It's only when they start to turn into Mr. Hyde that I know that something is wrong. So, I'd bring him in for a check up, just to rule out illness.

Has something scared him or bothered him lately? My son used to worry about a lot of things. When he was worried, he was distracted and again, turned into Mr. Hyde.

Did anything else change around the time of his behavior change? Did he start any medication or stop any, for example?

Of course, it could very well be just a phase, but you might want to check out the rest, just to be sure.

Hugs,
Ame

By Stace on Saturday, October 14, 2006 - 09:30 pm:

Hi Jennifer! I to am 27 with a 3yr old and girl..I know what you are going through right now!! I had a post a few weeks ago about my son's behavior. I got a ton of great advice from all the women. I know consitantcy is the key. And that is what I have been trying to do. My son Evan's mouth just got to be very nasty and disrespectful. He is actually doing better since I have changed some of my approaches, however he still certainly has his moments. But, I just continue to be strong and be firm with him. For as many times as he makes me angry..it doesn't even compare to the amount of times he makes me smile

By Bobbie~moderatr on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 05:44 am:

Is school new to him this year? Is it possible that he might be exposed to a child with behavior issues? Might he be mimicking an other child from there? They will often pick up things from other children. If there is a whinny kid, that gets everything they seem to want then he will see getting positive reinforcement for whining.. Is is possible there might be a bully there? This too can impact them at home.

I think every one has been there and done that.. I agree try to stay as consistent as possible..

By Bea on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 04:09 pm:

Instead of a sticker board for rewards, how about a sticker board for consequences? ie: 1 hour from TV time. No treats today Play date cancelled. That might impress a little more that rewards. Be consistent and never forget or back down after issuing a consequence. Follow through.