I heard my 8 yr old DS tell his friend
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... "I wish I was a girl." His friend asked him why and he replied, "because I feel dumb" and his friend said nothing and that was the end of that. I continued doing what I was doing and said nothing. What would you have done? Do you think I need to address this or let it go?
It might be a school related thing. School is structured for girls and girls do well in it. Boys struggle. Teachers seem to favor girls. My son also said things at age 6-8 about how girls are favored in school, the teachers like the girls but not the boys but rather than wish he was a girl he went the other way and disliked them a lot. Evesdrop on teachers and you will see many of them take a different tone of voice with the girls and boys. The girls is a tone of kindness and the boys is a tone of frustration.
I probably would have nonchalantly questioned him further to see where his feelings are coming from and given him examples to prove he's not "dumb".
Mommmie, that has not been my experience as a former teacher and/or mom. I can't speak for other teachers, but I never favored girls over boys. Nor have I witnessed any gender favoritism within our schools regarding my DS or DD. Of course, that may be a different story in other schools, but thankfully, not in mine.
I think I would talk to him more about it. There is no reason why you can't mention it to him now. I do notice, that a lot of times, girls are more mature then boys at this age....maybe that is where it is coming from.
I have 2 boys, and they have loved their teachers. We haven't had any problems like Mommie described. Actually, because of moving many times, they have been at several schools, and we have never experienced this.
Hmmm... I would gently talk with him about it. Not in a demanding way, just in a conversation type way.
I have a boy and a girl and both of mine are loved by their teachers. I have exceptional children though, when it comes to school.
However, I work in the Primary school a lot and I've never noticed the different treatments of the sexes. I hear the frustrated tone with the children who won't do their work, get in trouble often, and who won't follow directions, regardless of whether they are girls or boys. And for reward day on Friday, I substituted in a classroom involved and TWO girls and ONE boy had to stay back for poor behavior the entire six weeks. In my son's classroom, two girls had to stay back. So you can draw your conclusions from that.
Maybe your son was just having a bad day and he made a simple comment. I'd try to get more info out of him to see if you could help him through his problems...
I'd lay odds it was just a silly comment and not really wishng for a gender change. He was frustrated about something.
I heard my dd say she wish she was a boy once. When I asked her why. She said so she could use the bathroom behind the pool like her boy friend does. (My dh lets the little boy do that, not me.) But anyway she thought it was cool.
I think what you want to talk with your son about is why he feels he is dumb. At his age and this stage, that's the important part of that conversation.
If your son feels dumb, what is happening that makes him feel he is dumb. What does he do that is good or excellent and *not* dumb, that you can hold up to him as examples of why you don't think he is dumb, as Trina suggests.
And, he (and almost everyone else, but especially children) needs to learn that doing a dumb thing doesn't make you dumb, it makes you a person who did a dumb thing. What is dumb is to not learn from the experience so that you don't repeat that dumb thing. And maybe you can give him some examples of dumb things you have done that you learned from - heaven knows I have 2 or 3 (thousand) I can point to my life.
Thanks for the responses. I wasn't sure if I should be alarmed or not. I have never experienced favortism to girls from teachers but he did switch from private to public school this year so I'll talk to the teacher at conferences.
I was able to talk to him about it last night. After his shower he wanted me to feel his hair stating it was soft like a girls. I believe he is just beginning to realize that there is a difference between the sexes and not just private parts. He is a very thoughtful and sensitive boy and thinks that most of them are mean and he doesn't want to be like that. I explained that not all boys are mean and they can be nice and take pride in how they look and that they can have soft hair and that it feels nice to me too when I tustle (sp) it. I told him as he gets older that he will experience many different kinds of changes and to come to me with questions and we will discuss them. Isn't it funny how siblings are so different, my older DS never asked questions or talked freely (and still doesn't) but this one has to know everythinhg. The joys of being a parent.
I think you handled it as well as you can.. I have a DD that is 9 and she wants to be a boy. She likes boys, thinks they are cute and has little crushes. But she thinks being a girl takes TOOOOO much work... So I can feel for you, although she has started wearing some of her sisters girly clothes on occasion she still plays tackle football at lunch.. LOL
When I was a little girl, I had short hair. One day I looked in the mirror and said to my daddy, "I look like a boy." I don't think he wanted to talk about it, so he just said, "but you're a girl."
Then my son saw pictures of me at about that time, and he said to me, "Mom, you looked like a boy!" 
Anyway, I would make a special effort to take the time every day to take your ds aside and give him a big hug and tell him that you love him just the way he is and that you are happy he is your son.
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