School teacher situation (long, sorry)
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: School teacher situation (long, sorry)
My dd is in the homeroom class of a relatively new teacher. This is his 2nd year teaching. When she was assigned to his class at the end of last school year, I was kind of disappointed. I was hoping for a different teacher. But, it wasn't a huge deal.
Throughout the summer, I talked with other moms and the subject of school would come up. When moms found out who my dd's teacher was going to be, they would always comment about how he had a horrible year last year, and how the students just walk all over him, and there is no control in the classroom, etc. This of course worried me. At one point I had an entire letter drafted for the school principal. I was going to request a teacher switch.
After thinking long and hard, I didn't send the letter. I decided that maybe the first year was a great learning experience for this teacher, and that he would come back better this year. I also found out that he had taken a couple more classes during the summer. I think he's working on his masters.
So, we had a reading test with the teacher the week before school started. He was very nice. Kind of shy and a little backwards. He seemed really nervous. But, he was trying. His room looked nice and everything was organized. Some of the other teachers were still in a mess from summer break.
School starts, and things seem to be going ok. I would ask dd if she likes the teacher, she says he's really nice and she likes him.
School has been in session for just over a month. DD has brough home several different tests where she has missed 3 or so problems. Not bad, but not what we usually get from her. She usually gets all of them correct, or just misses one. (she is in third grade) Once I went over the problem with her, she understood it and could see why she got it wrong. Didn't think too much of it.
She brought home a math paper last week that had 4 or 5 problems marked on it to "fix". I showed her how to do it, and she did them all quickly and correctly.
Thursday she brought home a paper that was "homework". She didn't have a clue as to what she was doing. I showed her how to do it. It was a very simple concept to grasp. She caught on quickly and finished the paper.
I asked if her teacher showed her how to do it. I asked her if she didn't understand it when he showed the class, or if maybe she just didn't pay attention when he was teaching the concept. I was totally laid back with the conversation. She said that she was paying attention and that she didn't understand it when he was teaching it.
Then she told me that a lot of times the teacher has the students teach the class. He will ask them to raise their hand if they already know how to do the problem. Then, the kid that raises their hand gets to teach the class how to do it.
::::sigh::::
I'm just not liking the direction all of this is going in.
My daughter is always at the top of her class, and picks up on things like this very quickly. I understand that things can change, and that she may not always be so smart. But, this is basic stuff. Things that she figures out easily once I show her.
I'm considering talking to the principal about a class change.
This is the only 3rd grade education she is going to get, and I want to make sure it's a good one. I really feel like 3rd grade is important.
I want to know if you think I'm over reacting? Am I making too much out of this? Should I just let it go?
I apologize for this being so long.
And, I apologize for going anon. I don't want anyone associated with the school to find this and relate it to me or the school before I make this decision.
Before changing classes, maybe you could sit in the classroom for a few days and watch how he runs the class? Or maybe you could just go and talk to him about your concerns. I would try that before trying to change classes, which to me would be the very last resort. Good luck and I hope things work out.
I highly recommend observing in the classroom as well!  I would do that first, and then you have some idea of how he runs the class. I would also schedule a conference to discuss what your child told you about students "teaching" a concept/lesson. Maybe you will gain a better understanding by talking to the teacher, or maybe he's off his rocker. If you observe the classroom, talk to the teacher, and don't feel good about it, at least then you can say that you tried those things before switching classes.
Good luck!
I agree with observing. We had a situation last year where I couldn't figure out what was going on with my son so I would come and sit in the back, I learned so much about what was going on in his class that he could not vocalize.
After you do that or even without doing that I would set up a meeting with the teacher and discuss some of your concerns. Make sure you keep dates and brief notes on your meeting so that if it does not improve and you do feel neccesary to go to the principal you will have a foundation and will have followed prodical, then the principal will be more willing to accomodate and listen to what you have to say.
Thanks. I guess that observing would be a logical first step. I did sign-up to be a parent helper on Thursday mornings, but he hasn't called me to start yet.
What is the proper thing to do when observing? Do I ask the teacher first? Do I just stop by? Do I ask the principal?
The last thing I want to do is get this teacher in trouble. He seems so fragile. He is very nice and I would hate for him to feel like he's under a microscope with me.
For an observation, call the teacher and ask what would be a convenient time to observe the class. ANYTIME should be fine except during specials (gym, recess, art, etc.) or during standardized testing. He should welcome you to visit at any time other than the above. If he doesn't, then ask for an explanation and tell him you will be contacting the principal to set up an observation.
If he doesn't return your calls, keep a log of when you called and/or left messages for him, then contact the principal and schedule the observation.
JMHO- Teachers can't be fragile! LOL If he is, then he likely can't deal with the class on the whole. That's just my opinion. He may be able to teach physics one on one very effectively, but he's not a tutor...he's a classroom teacher.
Is observing common? Do you need to offer a reason as to WHY you want to observe? Do you usually get to stay the whole day? Don't the teachers act differently when parents are there?
Definitely observe, but also have a conversation with him. But be careful with your approach. Start by saying, "Let me explain to you the situation as I understand it from my daughter's perspective. I'd like to hear your take on it." Don't go into the discussion attacking and with the intent of pulling her. Talk to him and see if this is something that can be worked out together. He won't improve if he doesn't get useful feedback. Going to the principal before talking to him directly is not the best approach, IMO. Good luck!
I agree, but I think I would try to get in some observation before speaking with him. If you talk to him first, he may become defensive about the idea of observation.
That your daughter likes the teacher is good - and you can tell him that when you set up the observation.
I suspect the notion of having the first student who says s/he knows how to do it teach it is something new from "teaching" classes in his school of education. I must say, I wouldn't care for it. (But, heck, my kids went to school before "new math", which was just fine with me.)
I also agree, going to the principal is one of the last steps. Partly, at least, because if you do wind up going to the principal, you want to be able to show that you have tried other methods to solve the problem before involving the principal. Deanne (Reds) has good advice.
As for the teacher seeming fragile - it is nice of you to be concerned about this, but in the end, this *is* the only third grade education your daughter will have, and you are correctly making that your primary consideration.
Kate -I think observing is more common when a child is having behavior problems, but observations can be done anytime. I can't say that I had too many that just wanted to come in and observe without a behavior problem being discussed first and the parent just wanted to see how the child acted at school. You don't have to offer a reason why you want to observe, but you can. Sometimes it's just for fun, sometimes behavior, or sometimes (without saying it) it's because you want to see how the teacher responds to the children. You can observe as long as you like, as long as it's not disruptive to the class. I always requested that parents just let me know ahead of time so that they knew our schedule (specials, lunch, assemblies), and also so that I could get them involved in some way. I also wanted to know because there are procedures to follow (signing in at the office) and my parent population was, let's just say, not ideal. They would think nothing of coming to observe and bringing their 2 small children and a friend with them, which is just about as big of a distraction as you can get. So in my situation,I had to lay out ground rules like "you can't bring siblings".
Acting differently....hhmmm...I don't know. I don't *think* I ever really did, but I was pretty straight forward about how I run my class, what I expected, and what I think is developmentally appropriate. If this teacher is not "teaching" anything and letting the kids do everything, then it will be hard for him to just switch over for a parent visit I would think. Planning takes a lot of work and preparation.
Ditto Melanie. I also agree that you don't go to the principal unless a)you can't ever get in contact with the teacher by letter, email, or phone or b)you feel that the teacher isn't working with you to resolve the problem. I also don't think your intent should be to pull her, but to see what's really going on. Switching classes is not emotionally easy for anyone in the situation and it's definitely not something you want to do without thinking it through.
I would say though, that you're observing *your daughter* and not him. You can tell him that you're worried about her grades and that you think this would help. This might make him less nervous.
I would tell him when you're coming in and ask if that would be a problem. Or, ask if you can come in during math time.
I MUCHO disagree with having the kids teach the class. I wonder if the principal knows that he's doing that?
I would also log EVERY phone call with every subject matter you discussed. AND, write down what he does during class so you can take it home and evaluate it or possibly show it to the principal.
You can meet with the principal and express your concerns afterwards, if there are any concerns. They have principals specifically there to observe teachers and help them. He also (probably) has a mentor teacher and you can ask him who that is and talk with him/her.
The first 2 years are the roughest...especially with classroom management. The best teachers have the best classroom management though.
I would also observe the classroom of the teacher you would want to switch her to, if that's possible.
Sorry she's struggling so much!!! It's a good thing you're looking at her work and helping her like you are! ^5 mommy!!!
When my kids were in 3rd grade, and they each had the same teacher, I was in the classroom once a week, typing spelling words into the computer. She picked three or four words out of each week's spelling test, to make an individualized test for each kid, at the end of 7 weeks. She never seemed all that weirded out, by my being there.
I have heard other people don't like this particular 3rd grade teacher, but my kids never had any trouble with her, and went onto 4th grade just fine.
When I suspected trouble (and a few of the other moms did too) I volunteered in the classroom stuffing the weekly packets. Sometimes I would take all the stuff into the hall so I could hear what was going on but the teacher wouldn't think I was listening. I didn't want to just go and observe. It seemed too confrontational although I guess it's not. I wanted to get a more real idea of what was going on. I also found reason to be at the school doing other things and would wander down that hall and evesdrop. Other moms did this too and we compared stories. The teacher was ultimately fired a couple of months later.
I wouldn't officially observe, I would also find a way to be in the classroom.
One thing you have to really keep in mind, there is your daughters story, the teacher version and the truth lie somewhere in between. I think it is great to let the kids teach the class, but not if it is the ONLY instruction. I can't imagine a teacher doing that. What I see is him explaining it, then having them work, then writing one of the probs on the board, calling on a student and then letting them "teach" the class.
I know it is hard, but chances are your daughter is the one with the problem right now. There are teachers that are better than others, and there are bad teachers. I guess as a former teacher I hate that the conclusion is always the teachers fault. Boy do kids come home with interesting stories. Give the teacher the benefit of the doubt and then go get yourself in there and make a decision.
Thanks everyone, for your suggestions and ideas. I really appreciate it. Looks like the first item of business will be for me to get myself into the classroom and take a look at what's going on in there.
I, of course, don't want to uproot my daughter and stick her in a new class. That would be hard on her, I think. So, we'll just take it one step at a time. You girls have been so helpful. Thanks a million times!
Kaye, I have to disagree about my dd being the one with the problem. She is excelling in classes that are taught by the other third grade teachers. But the classes taught by her homeroom teacher are the ones she is struggling in. And, as soon as someone teaches her how to do the work, she excells again. I know that a lot of parents think their child is always right, even when they aren't. But, in this case, I think that it is the teacher and/or the teaching methods that is the problem.
You may be right in may not be your daughter. I didn't catch in the first post that she had several teachers. The point that I am trying to make is, don't go in guns blazing. He may be a horrible teacher, but it may not be all him. I too have a 3rd grader and this year has been really tough for us. We are finding all sorts of new problems and issues. They really do expect a lot more out of them and they move very fast.
I definitley would find a way to help in the classroom, so you can see for yourself what is going on. My ds is in 3rd grade this year, and it has been a big adjustment. His teacher is trying to get them to be more responsible for their homework/work. They are moving fast, and he has a lot more homework. It just seems like there is a lot more to juggle. It may just be that this teacher has a teaching style that is harder for your daughter to follow. However, unfortunately, everyone teaches and learns differently, and sometimes they don't mesh.
I don't think I'll be going in guns blazing. That wasn't my intention anyway. Sorry if it seemed like I was that kind of person.
My number one goal is to not offend or hurt the feelings of this teacher in any way.
|
Members
