The audiologist recommended I put him in daycare?
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I went to get Connor's hearing tested again since we have a new insurance with the army. I think his hearing is fine, and it did turn out ok, but the audiologist seemed to have her opinions which took me by surprise.
She said:
1. Put him in daycare so he'll learn to talk.
2. Stop sign language
3. Put him in child modeling so we don't have to worry about paying for college.
She was weird. I wonder how many other SAH-mothers are out there wondering if they should put their child in daycare?
Connor goes to my gym daycare an hour a day 4 x's a week. We do a playgroup on Tuesdays, swimming class on Thurs, music class on Fridays, and Montessori school on Saturdays from 9:30-11am.
She still was steadfast on telling me he needed to be put in daycare. I felt like I had to defend myself and my job. I've never had to do that. I even told her about his hospitalizations from the common cold. She said, "They get sick all the time when they're young. I wouldn't worry." She said she put her children in childcare. I believe it.
I suppose this is more of a vent. I'm not putting him in daycare. (I almost laughed at her.) I just thought I'd share what weird insights I had from a "professional" at Johns Hopkins. (The other doctors and professionals have been very good so far.)
Sounds like he's getting plenty of social interaction with peers. I sometimes recommend Mother's Day Out or something (1-2 morning a week) for some kids with speech delays or poor social skills, but putting him in daycare? Sheesh! Have you had a complete team eval done at Johns Hopkins yet? I was thinking you were going to do that--correct me if I'm wrong.
I will, Pam. I'm going to Kennedy Kreiger to get a full eval done. I'm waiting on the paperwork on the referral for that.
She also said that Connor needs a sibling. I wanted to cry. Scott and I were planning on TTC this year. However, Bush had other plans for our family. 
I just wish people wouldn't say stuff like that when they don't know the situation at hand. I plan on writing a letter. It's one thing to be a family member or friend saying that, but it's another to be a professional and offering unsolicited advice. I know she was trying to be helpful, but I was just there to get his hearing checked. I just wished she had asked more questions.
How would a sibling help NOW? Even if your DH was home, it would take a few months to conceive, then 9 months of pregnancy, then a few more months, before a baby would start making tallking sounds, etc!
What if you were unable to conceive? Geez. She really doesn't know what your life situation is. That's all you needed.
It sure sounds like he is out and about enough, without going into daycare.
Heidi, hugs to you. I can't imagine a professional treating you in such a manner.
You are doing an awesome job with Connor! He is around children all week and you are giving him a variety of experiences throughout the week. Childcare? I am just really confused on that one.
I'm sorry she was so insensitive. In her position one would think sensitivity would be a high priority.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience. You are a super mom doing a great job, Heidi.
OMGosh Heidi, this woman is definitely weird! Ignore her comments. You're doing great, and Connor does not need daycare! And the "he needs a sibling" comment was certainly over the top! Argh! I've had similar experiences. Frustrating! {{{HUGS}}}
The one that is over the top for me is to put him in child modeling so that you don't have to worry about college!!! Good grief.
I would definitely write a letter, Heidi. Keep it calm, keep it factually based, no sounding angry or hysterical - what I call "more in sorrow than in anger". Send it to the department head, and cc the administrator of the facility, your pediatrician, whoever referred you to this provider, and everyone else who is professionally connected with this audiologist.
How unprofessional, and really stupid, imo.
Getting the eval at Kennedy is a good idea. However, I will warn you (and hope that you have better luck). I work for a hospital on the east coast so we often will send children with problems to Kennedy and without a diagnosis of or suspicion of autism the wait can be terribly long.
For example, we had a family that was put on the waiting list 6 months ago. They called back to see where they were on the list and were told that it could be up to another year. This family did find a neuropsychologist who was very familiar with Kennedy and the testing that they would do and have had alot of response from her. If you're interested I can give you her name.
Heidi, I totally agree that if she said things in the way you stated them, I would not have been happy either. I don't think any of it seemed very professional at all. However, I actually COULD see how her first two suggestions could be helpful or at least worth exploring. I have a feeling she is thinking you are some what of a "crutch" for Connor. I think she thinks he isn't talking or trying to because he doesn't have to. If you stoped the sign language, he would have to at least try to talk to get what he wanted. If he ws in daycare, he would have to talk to get what he wanted/needed also. It does sound like he is in a lot of activities, but it also sounds like most of them have you included. Not a bad thing at all, but if you are his crutch (not saying you are, but it is possible) again, he doesn't have to talk. Again, I am not saying that you are a crutch and there isn't more going on, but I could see how/why she would make those two suggestions. I agree with Ginny that the third was a bit over the top. I also believe that a full eval is your best bet right now. I think it is just a guessing game right now as to what is going on and that isn't helpful at all. I hope you can get him tested and if help is needed, get that started soon also.
Well it isn't that her points may not have some validity, but it isn't her job to help you parent, it was her job to look at your child's hearing.
The day care thing, is over the top. I do think like Pam suggested a MDO type thing would be great. It isn't just interaction with other peers, but not having mommy around does really encourage them to talk more, and mommy can't translate. We put my middle one in MDO at 2 1/2 for the same reasons. We signed with him and it was a great help for his frustration level. He figured out how to do both, I just called him bilingual 
As for the other sibling comment. If it had been I might of had to ask..."you think I should have an affair or do you think bush will fly me to iraq to get pregnant?" This just reminds me of my favorite phrase, sometimes people are just stupid and you can't fix stupid
I am a strong believer in siblings, they offer an amazing gift to your child. I can't understand when people choose not to have more than one. However, the key is, that is something we get to choose, choice is good. And there are lots of people who just can't get pg again. If you look at the world there are lots of onlies out there and they are fine, heck everyone I know talks and talks very well..hee hee.
Connor will talk. I know this is a big pitb, but this will pass. I have watched his videos, he has great communication skills and is obviously very bright. Getting him help along the way is a good plan, but the reality is by time he is 7 or 8 you will look back and say wow, remember when he was a speech kid. I am not sure why, but there are just some kids who don't pick it up as fast. For the most part even without help, they will pick it up. The reason we get help is it does just speed along the process. So that means chances are he will be fine by age 5 or 6.
My son had delayed speech and I put him in daycare at 22 months and he started talking. I was also doing too much for him (he's on only) and he learned how to *wait* at daycare and do things for himself. He would have learned that if I had another child though but that wasn't going to happen. Daycare was a saving grace for my son. So, I would have to agree on those points.
My son was very difficult in addition to not talking. Daycare made all the difference in the world. I shudder to think if I had continued to stay home with him. I would have been one of those families on SuperNanny.
But it seems like the doctor would have had more respect for the lifestyle you chose and made suggestions that would work with that, like MDO or preschool.
I'm with Ginny on this one. Even though all of her other comments were things she didn't need to say, telling you to put him in child modeling was absurd! If she was telling you he was so cute he should be a model that would be one thing, but she was basically telling you to forget about thinking of college. (at least that's how I'm reading it) That is so insane and unprofessional! I have dealt with "professionals" just like that! Ignore her.
She's right that he will benefit from being around other kids, but it sounds like you've got that covered. Just keep up the good work we all know you're doing, and forget about her.
When you're looking into issues your kids have, you'll deal with many professionals, and many of them will be like her. Fortunately you will come across more who are not.
Well, those remarks are totally uncalled for. As far as daycare, it sounds like you have enough activities, so Connor has plenty of interaction.
This reminds me of when I took my boys to the doctor last year. We saw a new one in the practice. She kept going on and on about how my boys look nothing alike. Yes, they really don't, but that is not the point. She even had the nerve to ask me if they had the same father. I was so mad, this was right infront of them. My then 7 yr. old was upset by it. Needless to say, I wrote a letter to my regular doctor. She actually called me and apologized. She was mortified that this happened. Unfortunately, some people don't know when to shut up.
It sounds like the Dr. thinks there is an exact formula for solving this, not an individual solution for each child.
Regarding siblings, I wonder what her reasoning is? I've known several speech delayed children with older or younger siblings. The ones with older siblings still didn't talk because the older ones would step in and "translate" for them all the time. The ones with younger siblings were hurt when people compared them and said, "look, little Bobby can say ball. He's a baby and you're a big boy. Can you say ball?"
I think that YOU are uniquely qualified to know what is best for your child. Realize that the Dr. comes from a different point of view because she put her kids in daycare. If she had been a SAHM and then gone to medical school later in life, she might argue that daycare would be overstimulating and everything is so planned out (snack time, story time, playtime, etc.) that he never has to learn to talk to ask for anything. You know that daycare is not the balm that will cure all that ails. Enjoy being his mom and keep up the good work.
I wasn't there, but my assumption about the modeling/college comment was that she was merely complimenting you on how beautiful he is (and he is!) I think she was saying he could make a ton of money for you to put away for college and you wouldn't have to worry about saving for it. I certainly don't think she was saying he should model because he won't be college material.
The other comments I would have bristled at, especially as she was only supposed to be checking his hearing.
I think her comments were offensive and out of line. I can't even begin to imagine hearing that from a professional. I probably would have kicked her out of my house...like physically kicked her out.
It sounds like he's getting lots of social interaction! I'm still sitting here in disbelief at her comments. {{hugs}}
Ditto Deanna! Could not say it any better. Sheesh!
Ame
Ditto Deanna!! What a •••••!! She's in the wrong profession.
Hey you guys! I knew my gal posse would think she were strange!!
As for the modeling, she was just saying he was so cute that wouldn't have to pay for college. It was a compliment and probably saved her career at that point. She didn't mean it any other way, but I wouldn't put it past her for saying something along those lines.
I think this goes back to older women (not all of them) thinking they can tell younger women what to do. I can think of numerous occasions where older women have done this in my life. I've NEVER received advice from someone younger. hhhhmmmm...and, I know I don't look 18 and fresh out of high school. I've got my own theory about this...but you all know me. I have a theory about everything. I just hope I'm not like her in 10 years. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to "shut up" so I'm not like this down the road. (I'm laughing at myself right now.)
I was just shocked that someone would actually say that. (She wasn't in my house, BTW. We were at the JH medical building in downtown Baltimore.)
I feel like sometimes I have this sign on my forehead that says "Give me unsolicited advice on parenting." I guess no one ever did that when I was a teacher and told me how to teach. Teaching came so naturally. Although, I wasn't ultimately responsible for those kids' survival or even success.
Thanks for the hugs and support you guys. You made me feel better...
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