My dd 5 has for the last 2 days had a problem with her bowels. She keeps going just a little and it's sticky. She of course then wipes to much and now her but is red. I am getting frustrated. I admit. She appears to be manipulating it somewhat. She won't sit on the toliet and try and then says she pooped her pants. Which she does but only a little. The frustration comes from her fighting me to sit on the toliet, not letting me wipe her, put the cream on, bascially everything. Now she is fighting me on taking the liquid laxaitive. So dh is going to go to the store and get the one that you have to insert. She is now crying about that. But I don't know what to do anymore. Any ideas. I was trying to find something at the drugstore but everything was pill form. I think she needs to take something reguarly that keeps her regular. She is constipated about once a month. Which I know is not a lot but she won't listen to anything that might help the situation. I know I have to be the bigger person but she is wearing me down.

By Beth on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 09:14 pm:

Okay so now she decides to take the liquid form after dh leaves for the store. I hope it works before bedtime or I am in for a long night. I hope you all don't think that I am really mean. But last night I saw her visibly straining, asked her if she has to go. No. Ten minutes later, she "pooped" her pants and said she couldn't help it. Today we went out of town about an hour I took all the necessities that we needed for this problem. We stopped twice on the way home and once on the way home. She would get out of the car and then not want to sit on the toliet. I am just frustrated. I don't know what to do for her. Sorry so long. Any advice???

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 09:49 pm:

If she is constipated, she might be going just a bit each time to ease the internal pressure and stopping because it hurts. At 5 she is certainly toilet trained, so I would suspect something else is happening - either physical, or some significant change in her life that she is reacting to by reverting. Only you would know that.

In the meantime, I'd make sure she drinks plenty of fluids, both water and juice. I wouldn't give her adult medications - stool softener or adult laxative, and if this persists past the long weekend I would certainly consult the pediatrician. I am very reluctant to use adult meds for a child. A suppository - if it is child strength - might be a last resort, but if it were me I'd check with the doctor first. (You might also want to put some plastic on her mattress, in case the laxative works too well and she isn't able to get to the bathroom in time.)


In the meantime, given that she is red and sore around her rectum, you could use one of the hemmorhoid creams that has a topical anesthetic in it, just on the outside/surface parts where she is sore. It will definitely soothe, and that might help. And, of course, one of the usual soothing creams for the rest of her bottom.

I know the kind of bms you are talking about. I have had that problem myself sometimes. I have found it much easier to use just enough paper to deal with anything sticky, and then use a clean rag or two and cool water to finish cleaning - much less irritating to the skin, and I can just throw the rag away. (Those are the times when I wish I had a bidet.)

You might also see if you can get her to eat some dried prunes. Prune juice is usually very strong and the taste is not great, but I personally find the dried sweetened prunes very easy to eat, both for flavor and texture. You could chop up one or two and add them to her cereal. Apples are good, and if she won't eat them, maybe applesauce.

It can also help if you can see that she is probably not doing this deliberately, and try really hard to just be matter of fact and say, OK, you had an accident, so let's get you cleaned up and comfortable - without scolding or blaming, just nice and calm and being the helpful mommy.

By Juli4 on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 09:52 pm:

I make smoothies with frozen fruit and put some metamucil in it that is orange flavored. They drink it fine and dont even realize that anything is in it. Of course you can also buy the kind that is suppose to completely dissolve. I havent tried it though. It will usually work within a day or so if they are constipated. I put frozen fruit, milk and some metamucil. You can put sugar if it is not sweet enough, but it is for us. Hope that helps.

By Luvn29 on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 10:07 pm:

I think the reason she is fighting everything is because she is afraid of the pain. That is why she is fighting the meds and everything. She is old enough to know it will lead to a BM and she is afraid of it. Hard, large stools which are the result of constipation, or holding it in too long, can be very painful. She realizes this, but doesn't realize that she can prevent it by going as soon as possible.

My son would not go to the bathroom at school in kindy and had problems for awhile. Then he would have a very difficult time going when necessary.

Maybe a little vasoline around the rectum will help ease the pain a little.

I know it is frustrating, but showing her compassion and letting her know that you know she is afraid, but she will feel much better once it is over with, may help. Getting angry and upset will just complicate things and possibly make her even more hesitant.

The reason she is probably having an accident in her pants is because she is holding it for as long as possible, and then without realizing it, some escapes, either while passing gas, or just on it's own. Many times this is unpreventable when a child is constipated even minorly.

Good luck to both of you. I would check with a doctor if this continues, and in the meantime, maybe you can get her to add things such as yogurt and the prunes and applesauce to her regular diet.

By Debbie on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 11:24 pm:

{{{hugs}}} It definitely sounds like she is constipated, this can lead to a very vicious cycle. She doesn't want to go because of the pain, so she tries to hold it, thus becoming more constipated. At this age, she can't rationalize very well, all she knows, is that if she goes it is going to hurt. If she is holding it, it is possible to "leak" causing the accidents. Also, she may have some blockage, that she can't push out, and there is leakage around it. My ds got into a horrible cycle with this and it took a long time to overcome. I would call your pediatrician, and get him/her to prescribe you a stool softner. She can take it daily to regulate her bm's. Once, she is over the pain and regulated, you can taper her off the medication. Also, if she is easily constipated, you may need to make some dietary changes. I would not mess around with this. It is something that can get out of hadn quickly. I would definitely recommend taking her into the doctor.

I don't know how to post a link, but here is an article about encopresis. It is very informative, and may help you understand better what she is going through. This helped me a lot when my ds was going through this.

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/WELCOME/conditions/encopresis.html