Allergic to Milk? Any suggestions?
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The bloodwork FINALLY came back. Although, instead of eggs or peanuts, it resulted in a moderate allergy to milk.
His doc recommended to take all dairy out of his diet. (Rolling eyes...ggrrreeeat. How in the world am I supposed to get protein and iron in this guy when he survives on milk, cheese, and iron fortified yogurt and won't eat meat?)
Anyway...what type of soy milk is a good substitution? I'll try it for a week, but I'm going to get a skin test just to be sure about the eggs and other stuff. We have to wait for his allergy appt that's on Nov 7th. Scott will be here during that time so that will be very helpful!
My kids don't have milk allergies, but one is a strict vegetarian so I buy a lot of soy milk. I can tell you the flavored stuff tastes way better than the plain. My kids absolutely love Silk chocolate soy milk or Silk vanilla soy milk.
will he eat spinach? that's a great source of iron. also soy cheese isn't as good as real cheese but it's not awful.
((Heidi)),
Its so hard to modify sometimes..UGGGH
Atleast he is still little and you can try differnt products without him really knowing. They have everything Soy now, so you can probably find great alternatives. Goodluck
{{{HUGS}}} Welcome to the world of food allergies! For me, it was very overwhelming in the beginning but with time and experience it just became an every day part of life. Read labels and be wary of processed foods. Many contain milk, and use terms in the ingredient listings that don't register as "milk" unless you're familiar with them. If my memory serves correctly, I believe "casein" is one of them.
A good resource is FoodAllergy.org
Ask your doctor about rice milk. I don't know about protein, but it is fortified with calcium and vitamins.
Heidi,
I have a friend whose child has a serve milk allergy, she just had twin boys and had to be really careful about what type of formula she transistion them to. Something to think about the next time you are preggers!
Anyway, I posted this link for Trina in another thread, but thought you might find these helpful if you every leave Connor in a centre or program:
Blue Bear Aware
Heidi, Scott has done the soy, etc. diet several times, and pays careful attention to nutritional values. I will ask him to review your questions and respond. In the meantime, your doctor really should be giving you helpful advice on what he can eat (that he will), not just what he can't.
Ok, now I feel overwhelmed...
I will try to eliminate all milk from his diet and read some more...ugh. 
BTW, thanks so much for all your input. I really appreciate all of your ideas! It's just so hard having to do all of this on my own. I get overwhelmed easily lately.
Thanks so much though!!!
Heidi, I had a long consult with my Scott. First, until Connor is 4 or 5, I would urge you not to give him rice milk - after that it is fine. But rice milk has absolutely no fat in it unless fat is added, and young children need some fat in their diet for their nerves and particularly their brain neurons to develop. There has been a fair amount of research on this.
Second, you can get soy milks that have 2-4% or more fat added. Soy is naturally high in calcium (soy beans - all beans - are naturally high in calcium), and in protein, though not a "complete" protein. You want to be sure to get a soy milk that has Vitamin D added, as Vitamin D is essential. Here's an article in a recent issue of Newsweek that refers to the medical journal, Pediatrics: Newsweek Read the nutrition labels to figure out how much calcium, fat, Vitamin D and other vitamins, minerals, and protein etc. is in the soy milk - the nutrition label has to give not only the quantity per serving but also the percentage of a normal daily requirement in each serving. My Scott uses firm tofu as a substitute for eggs, cooking hunks of it just like scrambled eggs. Scott showed me a can of soy protein supplement he uses sometimes - it's a "body builder" supplement he got at Trader Joes - and it is loaded with all kinds of vitamins and minerals, including added in minerals and stuff that is usually not found in soy products. (There are some kinds of protein that are only found in animal products, not in vegetable products, even soy. For example, you have to give cats food that is designated as "cat food" because cats need taurine/torine (sp?), which is only found in animal products, and cat food has taurine added.)
Now, here's the hard part. You say Connor won't eat meat or much else besides milk products and eggs. I'm sorry, but I grew up in a family and raised a family where you eat what is put in front of you, or you go hungry. I suggest that it might be a good idea to stop catering to Connor's dietary quirks, put a balanced meal in front of him (with no milk products) and tell him - that's lunch, or that's dinner. If he doesn't eat it, OK. But, no substitutes, no snacks, not even a glass of (soy) milk until the next meal. And the next meal is a balanced meal and he has to eat some of everything. No child will voluntarily starve.
My Scott says that is what, in lab animal medicine, they call "Hobson's diet. (Hobson was one of the designers of the first Model T Fords - the ones that you could get in any color as long as it was black - or at least that's Scott's story.) The Hobson diet is used with cats in lab facilities who try to be fussy eaters. They are given a small quantity of food, and if they don't eat it, the next meal is a fresh small quantity of the same food - until they realize that this is all there is, and they eat.
I went through something similar with my first when he was about 4, and my pediatrician recommended what I am suggesting to you. The ped said don't fuss, don't force, sit down to the meal and when you're done, he's done, until the next meal. You can't and shouldn't force him to eat or coax him to eat, but he won't voluntarily starve. We went about a week where he wouldn't eat 2 meals out of 3, but he ate all of the third. And by the end of the week he was eating some of everything on his plate at each meal.
If Connor doesn't like meat, disguise it. You can take ground chicken, mix it in a cream sauce made with soy milk, and put it on toast. You can jazz up a bit of chopped chicken for a chicken salad sandwich. You can make chicken fingers (like Wendys or whoever), and so on. There's always spaghetti with a little meat in the sauce. You can gradually ease him into eating meat or eating a more balanced diet.
You might start this when your Scott is home - making meals that are "daddy" food, and telling Connor that he can eat food just like daddy eats. You'd have to clue your Scott in, of course, but that should be easy.
What worked with 2 of my 3 was "of course you don't like it - you're not old enough, it's for grownups". They ate it just to prove that they were old enough. (The third, I'm sorry to say, just said "yes, you're right".) My sons all ate brussel sprouts, okra (yes, I know you Southerners all eat okra, but it's not a Northern thing), lima beans, liver, and whatever else I put in front of them, and by the time each of them was 4 or 5, they knew that the only option was to eat what was in front of them or go hungry until the next meal.
Ginny, exactly why I said to ask a doctor about rice milk. Whole milk is recommended until the age of 2 for the fat content for brain development, etc., but after that it's not as important. Fortified rice milk is one of the alternatives used for milk allergic kids, which is why I mentioned it.
Ginny, I tried the whole "withold food" bit and it was the worst 2 days of my life. When he's hungry, he's just angry and then it's *me* who has to fix it. I also refuse the put my kid to bed hungry.
I do fix him things and present them, but I'm not expecting him to eat them. I felt like I was forcing it on him and losing his trust by telling "Eat this or starve until your next meal."
People are always telling me that "he'll eat something down the road" but what they don't realize is that I have to deal with a hungry child in between feedings.
It's bad enough now that I have to take away dairy for at least a week. Now, we're just down to the sweet stuff and he barely drinks the soymilk.
Ugh...I'm just frustrated...I can't wait til Scott comes home...
I hate to say this, I know you are alone in this right now and I hope it's not taken the wrong way but as I see it, you're in a power struggle and losing.
Your son is old enough to put together that he needs to try what is in front of him or he will be hungry until the next meal. He won't starve but he may be hungry. The problem is that he knows how to make you feel bad and knows what pushes your buttons. You've given in before when you tried this approach so he knows that if he holds out long enough, he'll get what he wants.
I don't envy you. At four years old, I have to go back and start this with Timmy every once in a while. I find myself slipping into the routine of not being consistent.
Not everyone's approach is the same, but this is my view from the outside looking in.
Question: What does a hungry child do for 2 hours?
He cries, whines, yells, has a tantrum or two, throws things ..... But - who is in charge here?
At four, Timmy tells me he doesn't love me any more. He tells me I'm not his mommy. He tells me he's not going to play with me anymore. I've been slapped and recently spit on. The last two have had more consequences than just no additional snack or dinner though.
But, the next time I put a plate in front of him, he thinks twice. He doesn't always get it right away, but he's not dumb. He puts it all together.
As Timmy has gotten older, I'm living more and more by my mom's rules. These are rules that I thought were horrible growing up. I've found though that they weren't and at 35 years old, I can finally begin to appreciate her.
You should not have to be a short-order cook.
I do understand how tough it can be to make a picky child expand their preferred menu and I know how stubborn a two year old boy can be BUT, IMO, you are choosing to avoid a battle for a few days over a healthy diet for your child. Connor doesn't eat the foods necessary to keep him healthy and growing well. He's not going to choose to eat these foods that he thinks he doesn't like until he knows that you mean business. I know things are tough with Scott gone but Connor getting the food he needs is really important and his diet is sooo limited now. I hope that you find a way to get him to eat some new foods somehow.
{{{Heidi}}} My ds has reflux, and thus we have eating issues. When his reflux acts up, it seem like we are back to square one with eating. It is hard because my ds has also learned to "play" me. He will compain about his reflux, and I know sometimes he is using it as an excuse to get out of eating certain things.
This is what our GI doctor suggested we do, it seems to be working. It is a slow process, but we are making progress. I make a meal, and make sure he has at least one or two things on his plate that he likes. I always add something new. The rule is, he can not have more of the foods he likes, until he eats/or at least tries, the new food. With this method, he at least eats something(I make it as healthy as possible) and he has been trying(and liking) new foods. Our GI doctor said that it something takes introducing a food several times(up to 10-12) before a child will eat it. So, just keep trying! Also, I know Conor has some delays with speech and communicating. Could he also have food texture issues? I had ds evaluated for this. He doesn't, his issues are only related to living with undiagnoed reflux for several years. But, it is something you might want to check into.
Ginny- A tantrum or two? You don't know my son. I'm also dealing with hitting 10 times a day (which means time outs 10 times a day) and I'm VERY much in charge. 220 days without a husband and I'm doing my best.
Tink- Your second sentence has me steaming. Did you know that he eats Kashi and Multigrain Cheerios like it's going out of style?
Connor has difficulting understanding and expressing. In fact the other day, I asked him "Do you want more Time Out?" (After he refused to say "I'm sorry" to the dog for hitting her.) ANd he smiled and said "yes"...honestly. He knows what "more" means and he knows what "timeout" means so why doesn't he understand what "more timeout" means?
Same with food...he doesn't understand certain things. I also think he has an issue with texture and he's SUCH a routine type kid. It took him FOUR music sessions just for him to set foot in the room and be used to it. If you know this from my past posts, I appreciate this consideration.
So...going back to my original question that some people so graciously answered, I appreciate you. And, thanks Debbie and others who have questions rather than answers.
And, thanks Colette, for the soy cheese idea. I had no idea that it even existed. The only thing my doctor said was "Don't give him anything with milk in it."
Duh. So, what are the alternatives?
There's soy milk and cheese...what about kinds of yogurts? Do they make that too? He loves milk, cheese, and his iron fortified yogurt.
I can't wait until the prick test. I think that will be a lot more accurate than the blood test.
I also think I'll post this on the special needs board and ask for allergy help there.
How in the world am I supposed to get protein and iron in this guy when he survives on milk, cheese, and iron fortified yogurt and won't eat meat?
Thought I was answering one of your questions. Guess not, good luck. I survived the 2 year old age and am now on to 4 year olds.
Heidi, I may understand what you're going through more than anyone else on this board. My ds was completely non-verbal at Connor's age and had texture issues with many foods and was on a casein-free\gluten-free diet. It doesn't get much more limited than that. My dh was home at that time...for 6 hours a day, all spent sleeping. Kashi and Multi-grain Cheerios are great and better than cheetos and candy but they still aren't giving him all he needs. I'm really sorry that we aren't just agreeing with you that it's difficult. We all know it is but I thought you wanted suggestions on how to deal with this lifestyle\diet change. I'm sorry if my honesty left you "steaming".
{{Heidi}} It sounds to me that this is more then just a "picky" food issue. What type of evaluation did you have done with Connor?? I do not want to scare you, but from the way you describe Connor's behavior, he sounds a lot like my friend's ds. Around Connor's age, he was diagnosed with a mild case of autism. He too had food/texture issues, delay in speech/communication, etc. The reason I am bringing it up is because once my friend's son was properly diagnosed, he was eligible for occupational therapy, speech therapy, etc. They were able to help with his food issues, speech, cognitive thinking, etc. He has come such a long way, and was actually mainstreamed at school this year. It could very well not be anything like this, but it just seems that there is something going on. Connor really seems frustrated that he can't communicate with you. {{{hugs}}} I know this must be so hard for you, especially with your dh gone. When I was having problems with Josh, it was heartbreaking and frustrating. I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't get answers. Finally, we got a new pediatrician, who referred us to a GI doctor, and we were able to get the help we needed.
I know everyone is just trying to help. But, I definitley understand where you are coming from. With Josh, it is not just about being picky. There are other issues behind it. I know people mean well, but I get frustrated also when people make comments that I should just lay down the law with food, he won't starve. Unfortunatley, when there are other issues involved, it isn't that easy. And, I am in no way bashing anyone here. I just think there is a lot more to this.
Thanks, Debbie. I'm calling his pediatrician tomorrow. 
Email me if you want to talk... dg soliz @ sbc global.net (with no spaces).
Hang in there. {{{hugs}}}
Oh my Heidi. Huge hugs!!! Noah was diagnosed with a milk allergy (the root of his reflux) when he was four and put on a milk protein (casein)-free diet. I did the whole soy milk, cheeseless pizza, homemade chicken nuggets route myself and this kid loved cheese. I did have a quack GI doctor at the time and ended up switching to a super pediatric GI doc. He said that kids should never be on a totally milk-free diet (unless they have an anaphylactic allergy) because calcium is essential to growth plate formation in the bones. Fortunately, milk allergy is one of the most commonly outgrown allergies. Noah outgrew his in a year. The "Good" GI said that he has all of his parents who have kids with milk allergies work closely with a dietician to come up with a workable diet that is low in milk, but has enough dairy to get meet essential calcium needs. It is really difficult to get enough calcium into kids without milk, cheese, pudding, etc.
As I have told you before, I do think Connor has some sensory food issues and yes, these kids WILL actually refuse to eat for days on end. I have some idea of what you are dealing with here. I saw where you have had trouble getting speech services. Are you getting any OT? If you are still having trouble getting services, then I would be happy to dig up some local resources for you. I do think he needs an eval with a whole team (OT/ST/maybe a neurologist). Do you have a children's hospital nearby? That might be a really good place to start.
I know it must be tremendously difficult to handle all of this with Scott going on and I think there is more underlying stuff going on that it is not merely a case of eat or be hungry.
Hope you can get on the right track with this soon and you have my email address if you need it.
Thanks again, Deb.
And, Tink, I'm just hurt that you would say that without knowing what he DOES eat and what I put in front of him. It was just really ignorant and I was surprised you would even say such a thing to a parent who has had the same struggles as yourself.
He's in the 97th percentile for height and weight and his blood was tested for anemia and he was fine.
Here's an article you should read:
https://www.healthforums.com/library/1,1258,article~11242,00.html
(I would have linked it but it has commas in it and that confuses html formatting.}
And, I would take a look at how much iron multigrain cheerios has, along with other essential nutrients. It's his main snack.
As far as feeding... I put 2 things that he likes with 1 thing that he doesn't like (yet). (It's such waste of food otherwise.) I don't want to make him eat one thing just so that he'll eat the other because I don't want one item to seem "more important" than another.
Studies have shown that when dessert is presented with dinner, they'll eat it all.
Otherwise, it's all forcing. He eats veggies and gets his protein with cheese, milk, and yogurt. My doctor didn't even bat an eye and said it was perfectly normal that he didn't eat meat. She said to just keep doing what I'm doing until he gets used to seeing it and smelling it.
Pam- Thank you so much. I'm so happy you're back online.
I did have an OT evaluate him and she said he was just a picky eater. Although, she only saw him for 45 minutes and it's a free resource. Not sure if that matters? I'm going to ask my ped today to refer us, through Johns Hopkins, to a place that can help Connor and possibly get him evaluated again. I will ask for your help down the road, I'm sure!! I'll let you know how the conversation went.
I was SO frustrated with the speech therapist for not showing up twice! And, I think we only have one speech therapist in the county. Grrrr...
And, thanks for those with empathy. I'm so tired. So very very tired. I'm training for a half marathon, seeing my mother every day (I have to go and make sure that she's taking her meds every day so her gums don't bleed...she can be a real pistol about her meds), taking her to her dentist appts, doing her laundry, taking care of a toddler and his tantrums...I'm just so tired.
Thanks for listening.
Oh do I feel your pain! I have two kids who have milk allergies. One was diagnosed at 3 years and he too LOVED cheese, yogurt, etc. That's what he lived on! He wouldn't eat meat either. He was a very picky eater and would go on hunger strikes for days at a time. I was stubborn and kept putting food in front of him and he would scream and not eat. He was thin, but I was determined to be "the parent". It didn't work. Once we discovered he had a milk allergy and he was off all milk products for 3 weeks he began to eat more. He does have some sensory issues (at least in my opinion), but removing the milk from his diet helped his attitude towards food and his general disposition. I'm still hard on him with trying new foods (I use dessert as bribery and it now works). What I'm trying to say is give it some time on a milk free diet. He probably doesn't feel well so everything else in his life seems more extreme. We're still dealing with issues but removing the milk made the biggest difference in him overall. Keep sticking to your guns. Hang in there!! I give you a lot of credit for doing this alone.
On another note- there are many good alternative foods on the market. I've found dairy free chocolate chips, cake mix, ice cream sandwiches, Oreos, etc. My ds now loves soy milk (enriched so he gets calcium). I started him on it mixing it with Quick. Check out the natural food section in your local store. It's a rough go, but once you get used to what he can and cannot eat it gets much easier.
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