Shouldn't She Be Talking...???
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I am concerned about my grandaughter. She is 18 months old, healthy, and VERY active. She came into the world with eyes wide open, looking around. At five months, she would stiffen her legs when holding her, wanting to stand. Her muscle tone and control are good. She is always on the run, and crawls up the back steps. She can figure out how every toy works.
I am just concerned because she really doesn't talk. I can't remember at what age my DK's said phrases, but I tend to think it was by 18 months, especially DD. DS was more muscular and on the go, like Megan is. Megan only says, "Mama", "Daddy" (she's madly in love with him  ), and "Dandit". (Their dog is named "Bandit").
I would never say anything to DD because I don't want her to worry. Speech/Hearing professionals like Pamt? Am I just worrying for nothing? TIA
Hi, I'm a speech therapist working in early intervention with kids under 3.
Technically she should be saying more words at this age, but remember that with all developmental norms, kids vary. It sounds as though your grandchild is focusing her efforts on developing motor skills, and sometimes kids do concentrate on one to the neglect of the other. They then come back and learn the other skill and are fine.
You didn't mention whether or not she understands -- that's key in determining whether there is really cause for concern yet or whether it's okay to wait a few months and see what happens. Does she follow simple verbal directions without you have to gesture to get her to do it? Such as "Come here" or "Give me the toy"? Does she understand the names of common objects? If you're not sure, you can find out and still be inconspicuous about what you're doing. Grab a few common items and put them near her, and ask her for them by name and see what she does. "Where's the ball? Good girl! Can you give Grandma the car?" etc.
Does she recognize names of family members? Where's Mommy? Where's Grandma? Is she starting to identify some body parts? Show me your nose. Where's your tummy/belly?
If she understands pretty well, I'd just wait and see for now since she's not your child and you're reluctant to say anything to your daughter. If she doesn't understand either, there could be more going on, however (hearing would be the first thing you'd want to check out if this is the case), and you might find a way to probe your daughter into worrying herself rather than actually saying you think there's something wrong with her.
Also, when you're with her, repeat words to her constantly -- anything she looks at or picks up, name it, again and again. If you have something she wants, say it 2-3 times giving her a chance to attempt to imitate the word before giving it to her, (Juice. Say juice. You want juice? then give it to her - although reward her with it immediately if she does try to say it, even if it doesn't sound quite right.) Hopefully she will soon start to imitate. Also if your daughter sees you doing this and she DOES imitate, chances are, she'll start doing it too and you didn't have to say a word to her about it.
If 3 months or so go by and you're seeing no significant progress in her speech, post again with what she's doing and we can see if there's cause for concern yet. If she does reach the point that there is major concern, you will want to find some way of getting your daughter concerned about it too because early intervention is so important. And if you find she doesn't really understand words either, I wouldn't wait, I'd find some way of making your daughter wonder if there might be something wrong with her hearing. You also didn't mention if she's had many ear infections, and if she has, that could be the issue. Even without a history ear infections, some kids have fluid buildup in their ears and therefore they hear sounds, but speech sounds garbled and this makes it very difficult for them to learn to talk. Get the fluid drained and you see very quick progress.
Try not to worry too much -- she's still very little and even if there is a problem, if she gets treated early on (before 3), most kids catch up with their peers very quickly with a few months of therapy.
Zoie - THANK YOU so much! First of all, she does say, "Mama" "Daddy" and "Dandit", like I said. I point to myself, or DD will point to me and say "Grandma", but she doesn't repeat it.
She seems to understand some things, like "No", but she is also very willful and has temper tantrums. (Something I never would have allowed with my own). They had to go through a LOT to get her. They are both in their thirties. They had to go through fertility treatments, and ultimately, in-vitro. She is VERY spoiled, and as my DH says, she is "the boss". (Not at all a good thing. They will reap the results of that later). She never stops. Her motor control and coordination are excellent. My DD talked way early, but the motor control came later. My DS was on his feet early, but it seems to me he was talking by eighteen months.
When I babysit, I DO try to get her to say words by pointing to the object and repeating the name of it several times. We also play the "where's your eyes" "where's your nose" game. She responds correctly about half the time. I also pick up "Elmo", who she loves, and say "Elmo", but she doesn't repeat that either. She does constantly call "Emmy", the other little girl at her daycare.
She has been very healthy, thank the Lord. DD breast fed her for over a year. She's only had one cold, and one minor ear infection that was more swimmers ear from a trip to Myrtle Beach.
DD is a registered ER nurse, and reads EVERYTHING she can get her hands on about child development. Megan gets excellent nutrition, and is a good eater. She is a beautiful little girl (even if she weren't mine ), and very well developed. It's just the speech that worries me. This child has EVERY interactive, educational toy that's been made, thanks to her parents and both sets of grandparents. Her godmother bought her these magnetic letters that go on the fridge. You stick a letter in this holder, and it keeps repeating the sound of the letter. She likes the noise it makes, but doesn't repeat it. My son-in-law is a police officer, so he is EXTREMELY protectful of her. I "pity the fool" who EVER tried to hurt her.
I am reluctant to say anything to DD because I don't want to be one of those kind of Grandmas, and I don't want to insult her, by insinuating that she doesn't have a grasp of the problem (if there is one).
I am babysitting Saturday evening. I recently bought her some hand puppets, and I was playing with her the other day, making the puppets "talk" to her. I am going to try to work with her again Saturday.
The fluid in the ears has me intrigued. The pediatrician that DD chose is one of the best in the area, but of course he only sees her in an office visit, and not to assess her speech abilities. He may not be aware of the problem. Would he see the fluid when he examines her ears, at her check ups?
Thank you again, so much, Zoie. I will keep you posted on her progress.
Hi again,
If your daughter reads everything she can get her hands on about child development, she probably knows even if she hasn't said anything to you about it yet, that the norms tend to say anywhere from 20-50 words at 18 months. I hate those norms, they scare a lot of parents unnecessarily, but at the same time, they can be helpful in pulling parents in whose kids really do have significant problems earlier than they might otherwise have become concerned so I guess they're useful.
Do a lot of play with animals and making the animal sounds as well as saying their names. Kids often find those sounds easier to make because most of them consist of early developing sounds and they're extended (like moooooo) or repeated (bokbokbok, woof woof, quack quack, etc.), and most kids love animals so are motivated to engage in animal play for a long time so they hear the sounds again and again.
Another thing I like to do with this age is take a simple board book with nice clear pictures (not a busy page with a million things on it, but pages with a solid color or white background and two to four simple objects on it) and on each page, ask her to point to something. Where's the ball? Where's the dog? If she doesn't do it on her own, you can then take her hand and help her point to the right picture. If she loves books, you can actually ask her to point to several things per page; if she has a short attention span for books, though, I usually have them do one thing per page, use short books (4-6 pages max) and make them finish the book before they can get up and play. (It might seem mean but it's really not, and it works, kids who hate books and won't look at one for more than a couple seconds will sit willingly and read book after book with you a month or so later.) Anyhow, this builds her vocabulary and it's great because kids love repetition and when you repeat the same books over and over again, you ensure that they hear and learn those words.
No, the pediatrician usually doesn't have any idea there's fluid in a child's ears unless he is specifically testing for that because of the concern being voiced. I wish they did hearing screenings at every well child visit during the first 2-3 years of life at least. But they don't...
Again, I wouldn't be overly concerned yet. A lot of kids I've noticed tend to really pick up fast once they get going. For example, last month the mom of one of my kids was asking about his 16 month old brother because he wasn't yet saying any words at all. I recommended we watch him a couple months while she did the same language building activities she did with her older son when we first started, before calling up and getting him in the system too. Sure enough, yesterday she told me he's started talking and she made a list of all the words he says and he's already got 20 words, at 17 months so was glad we decided to wait. Since it can and frequently does happen that fast, there's no cause to sound the alarm yet. A month or two from now, she could be talking your ear off. :o)
Keep watching and talking to her nonstop in single words and short phrases, and see how her speech comes along. By her 2nd birthday, you'd like to see a couple hundred words and beginning to put words together into phrases.
Again, Zoie, thank you so much for taking the time to read my posts and respond so thoroughly. Megan does love books. I buy her a lot because I love books, and DD is also an avid reader. I do buy the type of books that you mention. Very simple. One or two animals on the page. Some are very tactile, with "fur" where they can pet the animal. She will bring the book to me, and climb up on my lap. She points to the animal, and looks up at me and smiles. I say the name of the animal a few times, slowly, to her, but she doesn't say it back. She loves Elmo in "The Monster at the End of The Book". She has already worn it out. She "reads" it back to front.
I am going to ask DD, in a subtle way, tonight if she has had her hearing tested. Even is she passed the test, is it still possible that she has fluid, and therefore, the sounds are distorted?
There is no way that she says 20-50 words. I haven't heard her say more than 5. Is the fluid assesment something that should be done by an ENT? We have an excellent one, if need be.
Thank you again, so much.
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