Natalie is napping only about an hour or so in the afternoon (after 30 min. of crying and fighting me), and then isn't going to sleep until an hour to an hour 1/2 later than normal at night (again with a fight in the beginning). We're going to try cutting out her nap. What did you all do when you weren't expecting sleep but wanted your kiddo to have some quiet time?

A good friend of mine (whose child is a TV freak, which is fine but not my particular choice) said that she always put her down to watch a video for some "rest" time. I don't know that I want her watching a video everyday,or to rely on a video either, but that's just me. Did you always have quiet time that didn't involve you, or was it sometimes just reading books together or quiet play? New territory for me! We're skipping the nap today for the first time.
TIA

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 02:09 pm:

Also, did you have your "quiet time" around usual nap time?

By Tink on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 02:23 pm:

We had quiet time with our kids because I always had one younger that would still need a nap. Quiet time was in their rooms, usually in bed, with a pile of books and one or two quiet activities. My girls loved their magnet sets (like colorforms...kind of) or a baby doll and accessories (bottle, spoon and bowl, diaper and change of clothes). In our house, they had to spend some time alone but there was a twofold reason for that. One, I usually needed to put someone else down for a nap and two, I like the idea of my dks being able to entertain themselves quietly for 30 minutes or so, without supervision or a playmate. This way they had practice for those times when I needed to talk on the phone or make dinner, etc. Especially when we first cut out the nap, I found that they still fell asleep every second or third day.

By Pamt on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 02:25 pm:

I personally wouldn't drop the nap. Both of my boys napped daily through kindergarten. I actually think that most kids need a nap, but at around 2-3 they start a power struggle, parents think that maybe they don't *need* it, and give up on it. I personally think that this is what Natalie is going through right now (not than I am in your house or anything ). Given her age, her recent power struggles, all of the changes (big girl bed, pacifier, etc.) I would just keep at the naps for a few more weeks and they should resolve on their own. I think she is fighting because she is so tired. When you are overly tired it is hard to settle down. I know that is the case for me. I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Children" by Marc Weissbluth who is a pediatrician and sleep disorders specialist.

I never had to have a quiet time because my kids didn't give up naps until they were in school. At 2 yrs, they probably napped for about 1.5 hours and then slept 12 hours at night. Good luck however you choose to go! Parenting is such fun, isn't it?

By Andi on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 03:05 pm:

We did the "quiet time" with a video. Dylan would lay in our bed while he did this or on the couch.
anoth er thing I did was give him a pile of books to look at while he was in his bed. After putting him in his bed I would close the door and leave the monitor on so I could hear him and after 30 - 60 minutes I would get him up.

I think they just need some down time if you cut out the nap.

Taylor still sleeps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon but she dosen't go to bed until 9 at night and wakes up around 7ish in the morning.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 03:18 pm:

She could be fighting naps just as Pam described above. At her age I wouldn't give up on naps altogether yet. My two kids were very different in this department. DS fought naps at 2 for a little while. DD was a high maintenance newborn at the time so it was very difficult tending to both of them. We have a 9" TV/VCR that I set up temporarily in DS's room for "Quiet Time". I would settle him down on his bed to watch a 30 min. Thomas or Sesame Street video. More often than not he fell asleep shortly after the video started. Yes, it was a crutch, but it worked and was a God send for me at the time. Even if DS didn't fall asleep, he needed the down time and was watching something educational. I see NO harm in that. At the same time it enabled me to care for my newborn who had GERD and was very fussy. The few times they napped simultaneously, *I* did, too! LOL!

DD also fought naps at about the same age, however, none of the usual tricks helped. In total frustration one day I put her on the couch and sat next to her. She calmed right down and fell asleep! I was able to get up and putter around to do housework. I tried it again the next day with the same results. AHA! So, she took naps on the couch from then on until she gave them up totally at about 3. For whatever reason, she couldn't nap in her room, but did fine on the couch.

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 03:26 pm:

Natalie has been fighting naps and bedtime for at least a month. She's going to SLEEP around 9:15pm (normal bedtime used to be 8:00 and has been forever until this all started) and getting up at 6:00am, sometimes before. (She was sleeping 8-7+ every night)She WAS sleeping 2 1/2hrs for a nap, and now it's an hour or so. She doesn't seem at all tired at either nap or bedtime, and both have been made later.

At first we thought it was a stage, but it has lasted for like I said over a month with the crying getting worse not better. She honestly doesn't seem tired at least 70% of the time. I didn't even KNOW there were kids who gave up naps around 2, but now that I know that, we thought we would give it a try. We'll see how it goes. Something has got to change because bedtimes are a struggle. I REALLY don't think it's a power thing. I don't know what it could be other than sleep needs are changing. That's surprising because she's always been a sleeper, and a good one at that.

Today, we had quiet time on her bed with books, and she played quietly in her room.

Tink - Your scenario is what I imagined for the nap substitute, however we haven't moved to the big girl bed yet. Natalie is very indepedent as a rule, so I don't think it will be difficult for her. I was really playing it be ear today to see what happened. She seems to feel just fine with no nap so far. Of course we will put her to bed earlier tonight. This may all blow up in our faces, but it seems like a logical try for us.

Thanks everyone and other thoughts are appreciated!

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 03:28 pm:

She hasn't slept in her big girl bed at all yet. Still in the crib.

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 04:02 pm:

Sorry Trina...we were posting at the same time!

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 04:15 pm:

Let me just add that I FOR SURE do not want her to give up that nap!!! We're just wondering if she's not trying to tell us "hey, I'm not tired, I don't need this anymore!"

On the days when she never falls asleep, she's still in good humor.

By Dana on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 06:30 pm:

I would insist on quiet time at the same time as nap. If she is tired she will fall asleep anyway. If not, she had the choice of what she wanted to do during quiet time. I would esp drop back on the nap if night time is getting later.

My DD stopped napping one day and never would do it again. She was just a week or two past 2 yrs old and went from a guarenteed 4 hr nap a day to ZERO minutes nap. We faught like crazy trying to get even 20 min in. Finally I gave up and realized I had to figure out MY schedule without her usual 4 hr nap. Life got so much easier after I quit expecting something that didn't happen.

She did have quiet time and we did fine.

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 08:27 pm:

She did great with it today. No crying at bedtime, went down about 10min. to 8:00. She seemed fine all day. We will continue this and see how things go for her. Maybe after a few days it will catch up with her and we will see that she needs them, maybe not.

Dana- Natalie was the same way when she was napping twice a day. 2 hrs. in the AM and 2-3 in the afternoon, and still sleeping 12 hrs. at night then. She started to get grumpy/cranky all the time, I came to this board, and I think it was Kaye who said "Drop a nap". I remember thinking How could that be? She sleeps so much as it is. But she was right! We dropped the morning nap and she was happy again.

It always surprises me about changes because *I* expect them to be gradual and they never are. Always 2 hrs. to zero, like your situation.

We'll see how it goes over the next couple of days. Tomorrow I'm going to put some books in her crib or quiet toys and leave her be on her own. Today I sat with her for quiet activities, and I don't want to continue that.

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 09:53 pm:

I'm really flailing on this (is that a word??) It seems so foreign to me that a 2 yr. old doesn't nap, yet it seems like that's what MIGHT be happening here.

For Trina & Pam: You've both suggested not giving up the nap yet. What if we continue the crying for ANOTHER few weeks at nap/bedtimes and it doesn't end or gets worse? Then would you be more likely to think she does indeed need to drop the nap?

My DH says I'm worrying way too much about this, and maybe he's right. He's so much more laid back, thank goodness! He says we should try it for a few days and if it's not working, just go back to napping. End of story. I just want to do what's right for her.And I have to admit that major schedule changes are difficult for ME to handle, too.

By Reds9298 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 09:55 pm:

Keep in mind, too, that this is not just naps. It's bedtime, too!

By Dawnk777 on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 11:51 pm:

I'm with you. Try it without the nap, and see how she does. I just know that after Emily was born, Sarah didn't seem to need the nap anymore. She would stay in her room and not fall asleep.

By Kaye on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 08:12 am:

I used quiet time with my oldest two. Some seasons it was a movie, or reading in their rooms, or quiet toys, whatever. But ultimatly it was because I needed the break with the baby, etc.

Since Natalie is a singleton, your needs are different. Just follow her clues and your needs. In general most kids need to play and be wild each day and then they need some quieter activities. Those can vary daily, but you will see what her natural biorhythms are and it isn't so hard to plan. Even as mine are older, I know when they need some "down time". That might mean our choice for something to do, is go to a movie instead of going to a play place.

Trust your mommy instincts, you are doing a great job!

By Reds9298 on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 11:15 am:

Thanks Dawn & Kaye I needed to hear that!

By Dana on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 07:29 pm:

I think your husband is right, LOL. I think if you quit worrying so much you will be so much happier. As I said with my experience, when I quit trying to force what *I* thought was needed and let DD do what her body thought was needed, we were both so much happier. Sounds like the dropped nap did great for your night time routine. You'll get thru this in no time. Just remember to tell me the same when DS is old enought to stop napping. He just went from two naps a day to ONE four hour nap each day. I love that large chunck of time, but w/ DD that leaves us stuck at home all the time during the summer. I've cut back on the hours, but then he is dead tired at 4pm which is WAY to early for bedtime. So, we stay home from 9:30-2 each day (he wakes around 6am). I just pray he doesn't go cold turkey like DD did.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 07:35 pm:

Another great day without a nap. I've realized (now that I think about it) that she has several "quiet" times on her own each day anyway. She often will sit with her books for 20min. and read and sing. Or play hard for a while, then drop in on Playhouse Disney. I've been MAKING a quiet time though around 2 or 2:30 the last 2 days. Today she watched a video and had some crackers in the dark in our bed while I did some crafts and DH played his Xbox. I'm using the term "rest time".

So far so good, but the adjustment for ME is going to be tough. It seemed much easier today with DH here, but when he's at work, I know it will seem like a l-o-n-g day! (Friday seemed long.) I'm sure we'll get into a new routine soon enough.

By Trina~moderator on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 09:42 am:

Yes, giving up that nap is often harder on MOM. LOL! BTDT. You'll adjust and will eventually be glad that you're not tied down to a nap schedule because you'll have more flexibility for outings and activities.

Bottom line, follow your mommy instincts. You know your child best.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 02:18 pm:

I remember being sad about Sarah giving up her nap, too. I used to go out and mow lawn, while she was taking her nap. I would come in, every so often and check on her. She was always sleeping. After I had Emily, Gary got a job out of town, about 45 minutes and he didn't have a lot of time, for cutting lawn. With a 2yo who wasn't really sleeping anymore, I couldn't just go outside and do yard work anymore, while Emily slept, so I didn't have time, either. I would take them to a sitter, for 2 hours or so, so that I could mow lawn. I know once, we were going away for the weekend, so it needed to be done, before we went.

I worked full-time, when Sarah was a baby. She didn't sleep that good, at the daycare. I think there was too much going on. So, on my days off, she took 3-hour naps! I could get so much done, while she was sleeping. Emily was only about a 2-hour napper. She never took those LONG naps that Sarah did.