More Potty Questions
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: More Potty Questions
Okay, I'm thinking of really starting to "train" on the potty in the next month or so. I think our big thing left to work on for "prep" is the term "pee-pee" and "wet". She still says "poopie Mommy" when she has just peed. It's a vocab issue I think.
I've been reading "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" (A MV recommendation)and I have some questions for *real* moms!
1.Did you all set a time frame for training? Like "ok, we're going to FOCUS on potty training for the next week" or something of that kind? That's kind of what I was thinking.
2.What are training pants? How are they different from a diaper? Did you start out still using a diaper when you trained? When do you go to training pants? (Natalie is not yet able to pull her pants down by herself. We're working on it.) It seems like going through the whole diaper on/off thing will be a hindrance, but I'm not sure what training pants are or if that's appropriate.
3.What rewards did you give? So far whenever she has gone potty (3x) we've done a sticker thing on the fridge. Some books recommend junk food/treats. I'm okay with treats, but nothing out there like a candy bar. What did you all do?
4.How often did you head for the potty? I was thinking about every 20-30min. Too long?
5.We're using a potty insert seat, not a chair. What did you do when you were out and about during the training phase? Did you just hold them on the potty? I've seen some portable potty inserts online that just fit in your diaper bag. ???
I appreciate any experiences or advice! All I keep thinking is that my only experience is with puppies...every 30 min. out the door! Start to squat on the carpet, ring the change can, "outside" then hit the door! LOL
(Unfortunately, I can't just sit Natalie in the grass - hee-hee!)
Well, I did it much differently than you, but I'll try and throw what I think is similar out there to you. I waited until the girls were three and they basically trained themselves. However, when it became obvious they were interested in it, then we did devote attention to it and rearrange our week and such so that we were home almost 24/7. It only took a day or two in our cases because they were so much older and it was their decision. However, I still made sure to stay home that week just to further encourage it and to prevent accidents caused by fears of being out in public with a restroom or anything. I wanted them to be 100% before we ventured out. So yes, I'd definitely devote a specific time frame to it.
As for rewards, we gave out four M&Ms for pee and five for poop. Don't ask me where we got those numbers from, LOL! The big thing here was, EVERYONE in the family got the M&Ms and got cheered for and clapped for and a fuss was made over them....Mommy, Daddy, and DD age 7. DD age 7 was very disappointed when little sister was all trained....
I would head to the potty about a half hour after eating or drinking. If you do it too often you'll drive both of you crazy I think.
I would hold your little one on the potty when out in public. I attempted those fold up potty inserts but they were gross. I mean, imagine using that and then having to fold it back up and put it back in your bag!! And they tend to pinch tender thighs, too, since they have a fold and seam!! NOT a good thing to do while trying to encourage pottying!!
Oh, and I think training pants are super thick underwear. Pull ups are pull up diapers. We used neither, we just took the diaper off. But again, this was a one to two day process so the diapers weren't a hindrance.
Good luck!
Training pants are an older thing, they are those thick undies that absorb a little. Mine didn't iniitally know how to pull down her pants, but they figure it out very quickly. We just went to panties. We did set a time frame. My one word of advice, set a time frame, be firm, ON monday we are going to use the potty all day. I promise you will know in a couple of days if this is good or bad. If she isn't ready, go back to diapers, say nothing and try again in a month or so.
As far as public, we just held her on the potty. What I found worked well for us, we used the potty first thing when we went somewhere, seemed like the car trip just made things move...LOL. Also we wore pull ups out in public with my youngest, it was just easier that way.
We did rewards, we did stickers some, but M&M's were the fav. We did 2 for pee and 5 for poop.
The other thing that helps (and reasonable with only 1 kid..lol). Write it down, you will very soon see her schedule, like she always pees at noon, or 25 minutes after a meal. In general they shouldn't need to go but about once an hour, but you have to find out when that hour starts. It wouldn't hurt to start noticing her time frame now.
I didn't train this way at all, but I do have a question about it. If you are taking them every 30 minutes or so, do they ever get to know the "feeling" of having to go? If their little bladders are emptied that often?
I didn't use the training pants either. I used pull ups both at home and in public for training. But then again, dd was ready herself to train, so going in them wasn't a issue for us at all. More of a security blanket for me. LOL
Good luck!!
Oh, we made a sticker book and everyday got a new page. She got a regular sticker for going pee and a gold star sticker for poop. She loves showing her book to daddy when he got home from work.
We used gummi bears! LOL! I used pull-ups with the older one, but they were too much like a diaper and didn't help her much. I think we finally went to training pants. She was older, so when it finally happened, it was quick.
The younger one wanted to wear panties and I let her. We cleaned up a few accidents and then she got it and it was a done deal. She was 3-ish, too, though.
Pull ups are just disposable training pants. The whole point of training pants is to keep your floors a little drier when they have accidents.
As for training early, will they feel the urge? No matter what age you train them, you do just take them to the potty at first. They figure it out. It is interesting to me, that as a society we don't think it is odd to not start potty training until almost 4. I literally have known kids who can read who aren't potty trained. It just seems odd to me.
I would never suggest getting into a power struggle about potty training, but I do think children are exceptionally bright, and if you introduce it and expect success chances are they will take it and run. The whole potty training in a day bit really emphasises teaching them cause and effect. It isn't talking about teaching a non walking child how to produce on the potty.
You all have great suggestions and I appreciate it! Waiting until 20-30 after she eats or drinks is a very good idea, and if we start this and it doesn't seem to be working, then we'll wait a while and try it again at a later time. Whoever said that going too often might hurt more than help....hmmmm good thinking. We will just try to go after drinks and meals.
When some of you say "you didn't train this way at all", what do you mean? Just wondering.
Keep 'em comin'!
Kaye, I don't agree at all that pull ups are disposable training pants. The training pants I bought were no more than thick underwear. They would absorb very little and everything on the outside of them would be wet also. I think pull ups are more like a diaper than can easily be taken on and off.
Also, when I trained dd, I didn't take her to the potty at all. It was all on her. I would ask her once in awhile if she needed to go potty, but didn't tell her it was time to try. Same end result, just a different approach to it. I also agree that people are waiting longer and longer to train these days. I wonder if it is because of the disposable diapers? Dd trained just a little after her 2nd birthday. I wouldn't consider that late training. I am sure people trained earlier when cloth was the only option. Those would get old fast. LOL
When I said I didn't train this way at all, it wasn't meant to be that I don't think this is a good idea. I just didn't want to be the one responsible for her going to the bathroom. I wanted her to learn the feeling of having to go so that she could tell me when she had to go. Sometimes I feel that parents are the ones who get trained and not the kids. When they have a accident, the parents think it is their fault because they forgot to take them in to the restroom. Just as she doesn't know when you have to go to the bathroom, how are you to know when she has to go? She was giving many clues that she was ready to be trained. So one day I bought pull ups and showed her how to take them on and off and we bought a three ring binder and used construction paper to make pages and just got started. The first day, she went in her pull ups a few times, but told me right after she did it. I would just say, next time, lets go into the potty before you let it out in your pull up. By the third day, she pretty much had it down.
I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way to train. What ever works for you is what is a good idea!! Everything gets the same end result and that is all that matters!!!
What *I* meant when I said I did it differently was that it wasn't something I planned and went about doing. I attempted that with my first child and quickly gave up on that because it was MY idea and MY agenda, not hers. She wasn't interested! And *I*, clean freak that I am, was NOT interested in accidents! So, with diapers as easy as they are, I gave it all up and let it go until each one gave clear signs they were ready and boom, it took a day or two, and about one accident each. Each child was just over age three.
I merely didn't have the patience to do it without their full interest, and like I said, I like clean carpets...technically I was selfish, but I knew eventually they would be out of diapers, and they are! Nothing is wrong with your way, it's just more work in the beginning and I'm lazy. 
Vicki they are called "pull up training pants". They are so much more effective then the old cloth ones, but just like diapers the disposable are so much better than the cloth.
For me I found this was super easy, I didn't do it with my dd, she trained herself at 18 months. I didn't ask her to go, I gave her a little potty at about a year and let her sit there while we were getting the tub ready.
I would have prefer to go through a couple of days of accidents and let them figure it out, than another year of diapers. I hated carrying the diaper bag around!
I agree there are lots of people who are potty trained as the parent. But the reality is Reds child is 2 (or almost), so she is capable of learning to go. It may not be her idea right now, but part of the whole potty training in a day is you spend some time up front talking it up. Think of having a birthday party, you have it where you want it, how you like it, invite who you want to be there. Does she have have a great time? Of course, but you also talk about it for weeks before time and it is all about her. That is what this technique is.
Honestly if I had waited for my youngest to initiate, he would still be in diapers (he is 8). He is not the type to like any kind of change, even when it is good for him. Summer is upon us, we will have 100 degree temps, I will have to hide his blue jeans and long sleeves sooner rather than later. He just asked at the beach this weekend if they had pants swimsuits. He was wearing his jeans btw. Each kid is so different.
Lots of helpful information here:
Toilet Training
Thanks for clarifying girls...I didn't think anyone was being negative at all, I just wondered what you had done differently!
I think she is absolutely ready as far as learning it. She loves going potty, has no resistance to it at all, knows the whole drill very well except getting her own pants down. Physically, I THINK she's ready. She can stay dry for sure for a minimum of a half hour, and an hour on the times I've checked. She's a drinker, so we shouldn't have any trouble with that part of it!!
**On a side note, I'm not into the late training thing. We had a few kids in Kindergarten that still weren't trained completely and their parents said they were letting them "learn it on their own". I just don't agree with that, and it wouldn't be my business except that it affected our classroom/my teaching when one of those kids needed potty help that, IMO, SHOULD be out of the way by now.**
I know everyone does it differently. My sister did this run around naked thing for 3 days and let them pee everywhere. She swears by it but I don't think that's for me! Since I'm completely ignorant here () I wanted to see what everyone thought about the questions that have come to mind and get your insight and suggestions about it.
Kaye-Your suggestion about 'okay on Monday we're doing only the potty all day'...That's what I was thinking. So would I put her in training pants while we're doing this? I think I will freak out if she's wearing panties and there are are messes everywhere for a week. (Kate, I'm the same way!!) I just don't think I would do well with that, so maybe it would help (me)if we went with the training pants? I think I'll pick up a pack and check them out.
The training pants won't hold all of it if she lets it all go. It will absorb a little more than regular panties though. You can also put plastic pants over the training pants that will help with messes too.
We tried the 3 day run around naked thing. After one day I was tired of that.
What got her over the hump was a BIG treat. I took her to the store and let her pick out some really pretty panties, her choice. I told her big girls go potty and wear panties. If she uses the bathroom in her panties then she needed to wear the pull-ups so she wouldn't mess up her pretty panties. She wanted those pretty panties so bad that pullups were a part of her past. But we did have little treats along the way usually her picking like a few Skittles or a story or a cookie or something like that. But we always made a big deal and did a dance.
When she seemed ready and interested, we did focus on it for several days, stayed home so we didn't have to confuse the issue or mess up others lives.
Pullups vs training pants (really thick underwear)-- pullups absorb the urine and keep the surroundings dry, too. My child really didn't understand the issue because she stayed dry. Training pants absorb some of the urine but the surroundings and the baby get wet. So they do understand that if they use the bathroom in them, they and everything are wet. I used the pullups to get her used to trying to go potty and pulling them up and down without risking the mess. We used the training pants for a few days in the critical time when I thought she was ready to understand.
Pooping in the pink Pocahontas panties, did it for Emily. She was horrified at what she had done and it never happened again! LOL! (It makes for a funny family story, too, with all that alliteration! I still remember her sitting on the potty chair, saying, "I pooped in the pink Pocahontas panties!"
LOL Dawn!! Too funny and a GREAT storyI'll keep that in mind!
I think my potty training days were similar to everyone else's except that we did go potty every 15 minutes for the first half-day. Then we spaced it out to an hour for the rest of the day. Next day was an hour for the first half and two hours after that. We did that for several days (paying attention to cues and that "after meal potty"). I chose to take them at certain times because I wanted to give them as many chances to be successful from the beginning as possible. Once they realized exactly what I expected from them and what would get them the M&Ms they wanted, I was able to spread the times out.
Incidentally, I'm so against the late training trend. Both of my girls were trained right after their second birthday (and looking back, I could have trained my youngest six months before) and my son was trained by the time he was three, even with his disability. I have a friend whose sons were all trained by 18 months and her dd was by 2yo. I was a little skeptical until I babysat and her ds asked me a couple of times to take him to the bathroom without being prompted by an adult. Several of my ds's friends (6 or 7yo) are still wearing a pull-up at night or in the afternoons after school!!!
DH trained both of ours in less than 2 weeks and they were sleeping through the night, too. He used pull-ups for the first 2 -3 days and then switched to undies.
He took them to the bathroom every hour or two and made them try. If they had an accident, he wouldn't scold them, he'd just take them to the potty and have them go through the motions of what to do. He made them do all of the work.If they pooped, he showed them what to do, including wiping. He would put the poop in the potty and had them flush. After about 3 days, they were pretty much trained during the daytime hours.
Honestly, we don't have any bad memories of potty training because it was done with no pressure and was done in a matter-of-fact way. He didn't negotiate much. New undies and a few m&m's and the deal was done.
I think each child is different. My oldest DD was trained by 2 1/2. My middle one, who will be 2 next month, is not ready yet. She is starting to show signs and watches the potty video (seems to enjoy it). I just don't agree with rushing a child until he or she is ready. I think it only becomes an issue when the child needs to go to school.
I just found it easier with potty training if the child can pull up or down her own pants which will come in handy with the pull-ups. I used the training pants once and would never use them again. My dd had a bowel movement in them and I was just not going to cleam them so I threw them out. My dd didn't like using the potty for a bowel movement so I would bribe her. Everytime she would do a bowel movement in the potty, she was allowed to pick a surprise out of a bag (candy, knick-knack, small toy, etc-I went to the dollar store for that stuff). That worked.
Good luck!
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