Okay my DDs are 11.5 and 9.5. At what age do most kids start staying at home alone for an hour or 2 during the day? I have mixed feelings about this because all my daughters friends don't seem to let them stay home alone for any little thing. My 11 1/2 year old is ultra responsible and I let her stay home alone for short periods of time, a few hours at the most, during the day. On the other hand my younger daughter, I will only allow to be alone at home for no more than 30 min at a time and I don't let both of them stay home alone EVER.. because of the fighting. Is this normal or am I being too trusting with my older daughter?

By Kate on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 12:58 pm:

Um, *I* don't think it's common. I have a ten year old and I don't leave her alone ever, nor do I intend to for several more years. I keep saying 14 is the magic year she may begin to babysit, so I guess I don't plan on leaving her home alone until she's 14! I don't know what everyone around the country does, or on this board, but none of my friends leave their kids alone, either, at those ages. It will be interesting to see the opinions of others!

By Tripletmom on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 01:21 pm:

At 12 we have what they call latch key kids and they are allowed to be alone for 1hr before school and 1hr after school alone.13 is the magic # here to be allowed to stay home alone.Why don't you call a police station and ask what the law is.I know I'll have a problem leaving DD alone when the age comes-responsible or not.

By Vicki on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 01:22 pm:

Dd is 11.5 and I will also leave her home alone for short periods of time during the day. I am talking a hour or two at most. And I am no more than 20 minutes away and dh and I both have cell phones. I do think there is a difference between staying home alone for a short pperiod of time and babysitting though. There is no way I would allow her to be responsible for a younger child. I actually think the "legal" age here to be home alone is 12. I have several friends who also allow their children (same age) to be home alone for a brief amount of time, so it is not uncommon in my area at least. Now, if I had any doubts that she would answer the door, or phone (we have caller id) or use the stove or anything like that, I would not allow her to stay home.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 01:28 pm:

Some states have age requirements as to when it is considered "legal" for a child to be left unsupervised.

My kids are 7.5 and 9.5. Both are much too young to be left home or in the car unsupervised, alone or together. I can't imagine allowing them to do so until at least 13 or 14, maybe older, depending on the maturity of each child.

By Emily7 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 01:38 pm:

I agree Trina, especially with all the sicko's out there.
My sister leaves her boys home, they are almost 13 & 9.

By Debbie on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 02:00 pm:

In Illinois you are suppose to be 12 before you can legally be left home alone. My neighbor left her 11 yr. old home for a short time, and her ex-husband called CPS. It was a BIG deal and caused lots of problems for her. My dks are only 8 and 6, so I haven't thought about it much. But, I would say probably not until they are around high school age. It will also depend on how mature and responsible they are at the time. There are just too many things that can happen.

By Bemerry84 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 02:03 pm:

Depending on the maturity of the child. My DH and I both work outside the home. My son stayed home alone everyday the summer after 6th grade, he was 12, and was too old for the daycare. I had neighbors keeping their eyes on him and kept in contact over the phone. He is very responsible and I have never had a problem. He is 15 now and will watch his 8 yr old brother three days a week this summer. Trust your own judgement and check state requirements. Here in MI they have to be 11 yrs old.

By Tink on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 02:12 pm:

My oldest is only 8yo but I think we'll feel comfortable with her being home alone for an hour or two (with the ability to contact us at any time) around 12. Now she is super-responsible and obedient so I have no doubts that every rule will be followed but I won't allow her to watch her younger siblings or anyone else for another couple of years after that. Honestly, if my dd was 11.5 and responsible, I'd be comfortable with leaving her for a hour every once in a while. My feeling is that there isn't some magical maturity level that's reached on the day of their 12th birthday so a couple of months really wouldn't matter.

By Andyjoy on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 02:15 pm:

My mom first left my sister and me home alone together for 1-2.5 hours when I was 11.5 and she was 9.5. However, we didn't really fight at that age and she would always listen to me.

I was sometimes home alone at 11.5, but my sister was 13 before she was allowed this priviledge because her common sense was a bit lacking.

As long as you aren't breaking the law, I think it depends on the individual's maturity.

By Jackie on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 02:49 pm:

In Virginia there is no law about a specific age to stay alone. There is a specific age to babysit. My oldest will be 12 in August. He has never been left alone for more then 20 minutes. He stays alone while I take my daughter to school, which is a total of 5 minutes. I just dont feel right leaving him home alone. He is a good kid, I just get nervous.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 02:54 pm:

I started leaving Sarah home alone, when she was 11 and Emily was 9. My parents left me home alone, when I was 10! There were never any problems.

By Reds9298 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 03:17 pm:

My parents started leaving us home alone around the ages Dawnk mentioned, probably 10 and 8 for us. That was long before cell phones and really we just had trusted neighbors. It was against the law, but really, so is speeding and I do that EVERY DAY. I think it depends on the child, your neighbors, and access to you.

By Tarable on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 04:00 pm:

I guess my problem is that I don't belive there is a specific age you can leave your child alone where I live. My biggest issue is that I work out of the home 8-5 and she will be in 6th grade. They don't have after school care for kids after 5th grade around here. What am I supposed to do if I don't allow her to walk home from school (it is only about 2 blocks) and stay there by herself. I don't want her friends mom's to start thinking badly of me, and not allowing her kids to come over and play. Since they are stay at home moms and don't have the same issue I have with work. But what do people do at this point? We have great neighbors that have kids around her age that are say at home moms. I know that they will even bring her home some days if it is raining or something but I don't want her over at thier houses every day.. they have other things to do, I am sure.
I guess that I am starting to worry about what others think. I know my dd is totally trustwothy and I have never been worried about her being safe at home alone. I just don't want the overprotective parents of her friends to start not trusting me because I allow her to stay alone after school.. BTW it would only be for about 1.5 hrs in the afternoon.
I was a single mom for 6.5 years until I got remarried last May and for now we still need 2 incomes, so I guess I can't understand when people say they can't imagine leaving their kids at home utnil they are 14. That is High School... and if you have to work what would you do with them once day care quits taking them at 11-12 depending on the grade they are in.
As for me I was the younger sister and my mom was a stay at home mom until i was 15 so I don't remember when I started staying home alone, for that matter I don't remember ever being home alone until my sister went off to college when I was in high school, so I have nothing to go off of.

By Marcia on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 04:10 pm:

My just turned 13 year old has been babysitting for another family for most of this school year. She just does a couple of hours at a time, and they have 3 little boys. She stays home alone, and also watches my other kids if I need to go out for a bit.
My just turned 11 year old has been left for very short periods of time, like while I run to pick another one of the kids up or something. She stays with her almost 10 year old sister. She's not ready to be left for much more than that at this point. She's very responsible, but not confident enough yet.

By Tripletmom on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 04:15 pm:

I would stop worrying what other people think.Do what is best for you.If you're DD is trustworthy and responsilble go for it.

By Bemerry84 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 04:24 pm:

Tara,
Don't worry about what people will say!!!! You have to do what works for you. When I got married I knew I would NEVER be able to be a stay at home mom and couldn't let that get in the way of having the children I always wanted. My kids have been in day care since birth (6 weeks) and there is nothing wrong with that (or them) and don't let people make you feel like there is. BTDT!!!! If I were you I would discuss this with your closest neighbor and let her know how you are feeling and I'm sure she would be more than willing to keep an eye out for your DD. I gave mine my work and cell numbers and have not received a call from either of them in 3 years. I would talk to them when I see them and ask it they saw or heard anything and they always said no and that he was a very good kid. Set some rules for her, maybe no friends over while she is alone. Have her call you as soon as she gets in the door. I would allow only one friend over while we were gone and the parents knew of our situation and were OK with it. You WILL be able to work it out and I can certainly remember having the same feelings you are having now. {{{{{{{ Tara }}}}}}}

By Kaye on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 04:42 pm:

The law in TX is also very vague...it is all about your child and how safe. There are some guidelines that you can probably find though.

However pretty much nationwide the legal babysitting age is 12.

My kids are 12 and 10 and 8. My 12 year old does stay home by herself, for a few hours if needed. She is fine. She doesn't love it though. She also babysits for neighbors.

My 10 year old I will leave home for no longer than an hour very infrequently. If I have a parent teacher conference, if I am making a quick trip to the grocery store.

Also we know all our neighbors, at least 2 of them have a key to our house. We have saftey numbers posted on a bulletin board. We have had several fire drills, we have an emergency action plan etc.

My 8 year old...never gets left. He will sometimes get babysat by his big sister (again no longer than an hour or two). The middle kid never stays home with them, for the same fighting issues.

By Mommmie on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 05:27 pm:

My 11 year old stays home alone. There's no set age here. I don't let him walk home alone from school though.

By Alberobello on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 05:34 pm:

Ditto Mary (Bemerry), you have to do what you have to do. My dh's mother used to leave my sil and my dh when she was 12 and he was 4! Of course they were different times and neihghbours used to look out for each other more but if you trust your daughter then you should give it a try. Like Mary said, have her call you as soon as she gets home.

Good luck darling.

By Tarable on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 05:35 pm:

Thank y'all so much. I live in TX too so that is what I was talking about there not really being a specific age. I guess i figure it can't be illeagal for her to stay by herself at 12 if she is legally able to babysit then.

I am just a little insecure about my parenting ablilies because of how some of my dd's friends parents treat me. I was a young mother when I had her (19) and most of her friends mom's are about 10 years older than me and seem to make me feel like they think I am a bad mother or something.

All of our numbers (mine and my husband's and my sisters and a couple of other close trustworthy friends) are on the fridge. For that matter I plan to make her call me when she leaves school, I am going to get her one of those cell phones for kids that only has a few numbers they can call.

Thank y'all sooo much for the boost of confidence.

By Pamt on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 07:15 pm:

I started leaving my oldest son home for 1/2-1 hour when he was about 11.5. He's SUPER responsible. As a toddler he would put himself in time out and I would ask why he was there and he would tell me what he had done wrong--LOL. I wouldn't have known otherwise, most of the time. Anyway, now that he's 12 I will leave him for about 3 hours or so during the day, but not at night yet. My 9 y/o also stars with him, but they get along well *most* of the time. The 12 y/o knows not to be bossy and the 9 y/o knows to listen to his brother when we aren't at home. As for rules: No playing outside. No cooking with the oven or stove. No answering the door or the phone unless it's me or DH. I think it's all about maturity. We're still figuring out what we're going to do this summer too. It's a tough age!

By Crystal915 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 07:40 pm:

I was babysitting other people's children at 11. It all depends on maturity, I grew up a latch key kid in a small town, so was left "unattended" early on, even though I had about a million family members and family friends looking out for me. (By that I mean I wasn't under constant supervision as a child, but someone always knew where you were, and would call mom if you were into something!!) Anyway, a few of my dad's coworkers would hire me to babysit at 11, but I also worked at our family's store part time at 12, so it's all about the individual child and their level of responsibility. Also important is the law, I know on post we have laws about what age a child can be left unattended, I believe here it is 10, and only for a certain amount of time.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 07:57 pm:

There are no rules/guide lines here either. You basically go by the child and if something happens then they hold you liable.

I started staying home at 10 and was babysitting for my parents and their friends by the time I was 11. But I think it should be based on your child...

By Cocoabutter on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 10:29 pm:

Didn't read all the responses....

I have a friend who leaves her 13 and 10 year old dds at home alone every day. During the summer there is no daycare, and during the school year, they get home from school at 3 and 4:00, and she gets home at 5:30-6. She is married to the father of her dds, but he is rarely home before 6 PM either. I totally don't agree with this happening on a regular basis. Statistics show that kids get into more trouble between the hours of 3 and 6 PM, when they are left unsupervised. I don't care how responsible or dependable one may think they are.

However, if you just need to run a few errands on occasion, I see no problem with leaving the kids at home for that short period of time.

By Conni on Saturday, April 29, 2006 - 08:41 am:

cocoabutter, do they offer things in your area for kids 13 and up after school? They dont here. k-5th grades can go to afterschool care. After that its legal for them to be home alone. I have read the statistics you mentioned and I agree to a point, that its better to be home with them if you can. But I know so many parents dont really have a choice.

During the summer they offer alot of camps here that kids thru the 9th grade can go to. So that is nice! But expensive.

I am still a sahm at this point. I have signed back up for classes at the local community college this summer and fall. But all of my classes are during the hours that the kids are either in school or have other activities.

It kind of bothers me to post on here if I have kids home alone at any point in the day. Just being paranoid this week about the internet I guess? I am usually not that paranoid.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, April 29, 2006 - 01:35 pm:

The rec department here, has before and after school child care, but it's only for kids 5-12. They don't do anything for 13 and up, either.

I'm sure by the time I was 13, my sisters and I were alone everyday after school, except for Wednesdays, when my mom had off. We never got into trouble! Nobody got pregnant. No one did drugs. No one started smoking or drinking. When I turned 13, my sisters were about to turn 12 and 10.

By Annie2 on Sunday, April 30, 2006 - 05:35 pm:

The woman's dh, down the street, from me is in Okinawa for a year. Since he has been gone she is turning to the worse. Anyway, she has started leaving her five kids home alone, all night, while she goes out partying. The kids range in age from 12 to 5. Most of us in the neighborhood, thinks this is neglect. However, this woman told another neighbor, that she called CPS and that her kids are old enough to stay by themselves.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, April 30, 2006 - 06:32 pm:

5 kids? 4 kids left with a 12yo all the time doesn't sound very safe! Maybe for a short time, but not for hours while you party.

By Annie2 on Sunday, April 30, 2006 - 06:57 pm:

I agree, Dawn. I have been trying to find some age guidelines on the web for my state, but am coming up blank. I heard through the grapevine that one of the neighbors called the sherrif's dept. A car was sent over about 10:30 but the mom was home by about 9:30. It must be okay or something would have been done this am.