PamT????
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Connor is saying "bah" when I ask him to say a word...most words are "bah". It seems like he's not even trying. I'm reading books, trying to "make" him say his words. He knows some words like "juice" but he refuses to use the word and his "eh eh eh eh eh eh...over and over" is grating on my nerves!
Is this "normal"? I went 3 minutes in the car today to get him to use the word "juice". I thought I was going to die of impatience!!
I just feel like everyone is telling me "oh, he'll talk when he's ready" and it's not like I want to have a full blown conversation, but I would just like for him to tell me what his needs are. 
His buddy, who is only 1 month older, is already counting to 10 and knows most of the colors...I do get a bit sad that I can't even communicate with my son without sign language.
How old is Connor?
22 months
Not to butt in here, but what happens if you don't give him something he wants until he says it? Like if you know he wants a glass of juice, do you give it to him when he says eh eh eh or do you wait until he says juice? I am not talking about everything, but the words you know he can say?
Heidi, I really think you need to have him evaluated. He should have a vocabulary of 25-50 words and be putting 2 words together at his age. The fact that he's not is not necessarily a huge delay, but it is a delay and intervention would help. Therapy at this age is more about teaching you a variety of way to help him communicate by increasing communication demands until he learns that words are power. Most states have early intervention services (often free or for a reduced rate) where the therapist comes to your home to show you ways to help Connor communicate using the toys, books, etc. that you have now in a familiar environment to communicate.
Connor will be fine in the long run, but he probably does need a little communication "kick in the pants" to get him going. Apparently there is an epidemic of this right now b/c my caseload is primarily 1.5-3 y/o who aren't talking, but are "normal" kids.
As a developmental therapist working for a state intervention program that Pamt mentioned, I work with LOTS of speech therapists. I also have to overlap speech with DT and coordinate services with speech therapists.
I'm in agreement with Pamt. I also think you should look into having him evaluated. You would be amazed at how much those speech therapists can bring out in young children! Often it is free or next to nothing for the charge. In Indiana, it's based on your income and insurance. If he qualifies for services, the therapist will come to your home and you will get to observe the therapy and get lots of input from the therapist about what you can do to help him along. (Again, reiterating what Pamt said.)
My dear friend just finished speech therapy for her 3 yr old through our state intervention. She took it so personally when he qualified and felt so bad about it, when really that's not the case at all! Now that he's "graduated" and met all of his goals, she soooo thankful that she did it because now he won't shut up!  It was the best thing she could have done for him.
It's worth looking into without a doubt. Good luck!
Heidi,
I'm going to agree with having him evaluated. Be prepared though, in NY the rule is a 33% delay in one area or a 15% delay in two areas in order to qualify for early intervention. I don't know what the rules are in your state.
In NY, they lump together expressive (talking) and receptive (understanding & following directions) language. So, if your child understands and follows directions very well, it could lower his percentage of delay in the language area and knock him out of the box for speech.
I also remember you saying he has food issues. Please, when you have him evaluated, insist on a good oral motor evaluation. Insist on a Sensory Integration evaluation as well. These two things can result in a speech delay, yet can be overlooked if you don't have the right evaluator.
I've been through the EI evaluation with my son. At 22 months he said Mama Dadda and ca for cat. That was it. He would not eat lumpy food and could not bite and tear. If I fed him then what I feed my 19 month old now, he'd have starved. He did not qualify for EI because his receptive language skills were so high. They never did a Sensory Integration Disfunction evaluation or a thorough oral motor eval. Had they, they would have found he had low tone, poor motor planning, and oral motor weakness.
He did not get evaluated or begin services until this September. I had to go through the school district and fight for the six months he's received. They have now declassified him and he will stop speech and ot in June.
I urge you to get it done. Everyone was telling me, "he'll outgrow it" or "there's nothing wrong. Boys are always later than girls". It may very well be the case. But an evaluation will give you some peace of mind.
I have to take a moment to thank PamT again. When Randy did not qualify for services, she was kind enough to email me a whole list of activities to do with him to help his oral motor skills. I will be forever grateful.
Ame
Thank you guys so much!! I will call today!!
Ok, I called the local office. I did call them way back in November, but I just requested some info and advice that they mailed to me to help him talk.
But, it's getting more serious, so they said they'll see us. She asked me a whole bunch of questions and I did request an oral motor evaluation too. Thanks, Ame. :-) She did ask me if he bites and tears into things, but really he only does that with his Nutrigrain bars which are easy to do. He doesn't do it with his bananas. He won't eat pasta, meat, or anything lumpy, gooey, or soupy except yogurt.
I'll keep you posted! Thanks for your input everyone!!!
PS- These are the words he says (and knows what they mean)...
1. Apple (His first word)
2. Dadda
3. Mamma
4. Mommy
5.Puppy
6. Bob (Bob the Builder)
7. Baby
8. No (Although says "no" a lot. When asked if he's a boy, he'll say "no".)
9. Hi
10. Ball
11.Bye bye
He can say these words, but doesn't know what they mean.
1. Happy
2. Yo Yo
3. Wow
Then, he has a few "Connor-ease" words...
1. "Jew" for juice (But won't say it when he wants juice. Only tries to imitate.)
2. "Pah" for help
3. "Nee" for banana
4. "Num num" for yogurt covered raisins
5. "Yah" for cat
6. "ha" for hat
Good for you! And yes, the eating issues go hand in hand. Does he like to touch (with his hand) things like Play-Doh, shaving cream, mud, etc.? A lot of kids who are tactically defensive in their mouths are also that way with their whole bodies.
Heidi,
You were posting Connor's list of words when I was typing the other post. He's actually off to a pretty good start. However, when you think about the fact that he say "eh-eh-eh" when he wants something and then take a look at his expressive vocabulary the reason is pretty clear. Look at the words he uses spontaneous. They are almost all either social words (hi, bye, no) or names (which can also be considered social greetings). He has no words to use to make requests.
Since the "p, b, m" are among the first consonants to develop and there are very visual since they are made on the lips, then go with those. Since Connor can say "ball" then play ball with him. As he throws/rolls the ball to you then you say "ball." Hold on to the ball and say, "Ball. Do you want the ball? Ball." He doesn't get it until he requests it. (A variation on this theme is to have the ball and another object and offer a choice that he won't be interested in. If he starts with the reaching and grunting, say "I don't want you want. Use your big boy words. Do you want the cup or the ball?" Always use the target word as the last word when you give a choice.) This activity is to teach the concept of requesting. Don't clap and "yay" when he does it---the reward in and of itself is the fact that his message was understood. Verbal praise is fine too.
He likes yogurt covered raisins, I gather? Put him at the table for snack time and give him 1 or 2. Of course, he'll want more and that's just what you want him to want. Hold out a couple more raisins and say, "More. Do you want more? Tell me more." Initially he'll probably reach and "eh." Respond as if he said it corrected and say, "Good job. You want more raisins." After he eats those 2, then ask "do you want more?" Up the ante a bit each time---i.e., don't give him the raisins until he puts his lips together and tries to make an "m" sound (even if he doesn't say more) or makes a good vowel sound like in "more." What you are doing here is shaping his speech with successive approximations. If he begins to whine, cry, or tantrum, DO NOT GIVE HIM THE DESIRED OBJECT. If you do, then you are teaching that whining is a powerful communicator and we don't want that. Redirect his behavior by getting down and getting a drink, playing with a toy, etc. and coming back to it later. You can also do "more" with blocks, shape sorters, crayons, puzzle pieces, etc. You hold all the pieces and if he wants another then he has to ask for it. Also, outside with swinging. If he wants a push, then he has to say "push" or "more" for you to do it. If he doesn't request then say something like, "Oh well. I thought you wanted to swing but I guess not. I think I'm going to go down the slide." You've gotta be tough--if he doesn't ask, he doesn't get all throughout the day. Obviously you aren't going to do this for every single thing, but gear your mind so you are purposely creating tons of communication opportunities throughout the day, esp. with snacks and toys (not so much at mealtime).
Hey Pam,
Thanks SO much! I'm going to try to get him away from his sign language. I'm not sure it was a good thing that I taught him that. He would definitely use that, rather than saying the word. But, I figure, if he can say "mamma", he should be able to say "more" right? Ugh. I'll work on it. He gets so emotional and pitches so many fits as it is...but, I've just gotta suck it up!!
And, YES!!! He hates playdoh. He acts like he wants to take it out of the container and then panics when I've opened it and he's just looking at it! Should I mention this in my appointment with the specialist? His first experience with it, he did touch it and about screamed his head off like I was torturing him.
Good ideas...thanks for taking the time to tailor the help you offer to our needs. {{Pam}}
I REALLY REALLY REALLY appreciate it!!!!
Oh, and he tries to be very social. He smiles and runs up to his little neighbor buddy. He also blows kisses to all the residents at my mother's nursing home.
I also wanted to ask...at what age do they understand "tomorrow"? We had to stop our bubbles session today and I thought he was going to pass out from crying so much. (I gave him repeated warnings about 5 minutes away and he knows what those mean.) But, I kept telling him "We can do bubbles tomorrow." With a smile no less, but he looked confused.
I've also been using a lot of Spanish in our house. The specialist asked me to stop that temporarily. Is that right? (He actually understands "Mira!" more than "Look!")
Also, Pam, he ate a stick of cheese all at once and then spit out the whole thing. He can bite and chew, but sometimes he doesn't. He's been known to spit things out after he ate the whole thing. He's also done this with apple slices and goldfish.
I would definitely mention the problem with playdough and the foods during the eval. They will probably follow up with an oral motor eval as well. In my state, we have ED teams that do the evals, with one person from each discipline (speech, developmental, occupational, and physical therapy). My kiddos with sensory issues hate anything like playdough, model magic, squishy balls, shaving cream, etc. We really work on it in very small steps, starting by just sitting at the same table with a ball of playdough while *I* use it. One TOUCH during a session is major progress with a couple of my little guys!
Regarding "tomorrow", I don't know what age specifically, but I can tell you that I think Natalie understands it. We use "tomorrow" ALL the time and she seems fine with it. Before bed, we always talk about what our plans are for tomorrow, and she even will say it. Just our experience so I thought I would share.
Also, food for thought, if he does qualify for intervention with regard to oral motor issues, at least here that is covered by an Occupational Therapist. It can be difficult to experience the first few sessions as a parent because he/she will make Connor do things that he will NOT LIKE and often the first couple of sessions are a crying/tantrum mess. (I've witnessed this during co-treatment with OT's) I am always AMAZED at the progress between the first session and then 4mths. later with the oral motor. Those OT's really know how to make those kiddos work on oral motor and they just don't give in.
To answer your questions...
1) Yes, I would cut out the signs. He obviously gets them and knows how to use them, but is not transferring that to speech so he is now using them as a crutch. When he signs, point to your mouth and say, "I want you to tell me with your mouth. Use your big boy words."
2) Ditto with the Spanish. Kids who developing language at a typical pace can handle two languages, but it's very confusing for those who are having some trouble learning the first language. This doesn't mean to ban Dora, but don't use Spanish when you speak to Connor.
3) Understanding tomorrow---sorry, but kids don't understand that concept until about age 6. I would say that you will play bubbles again later and then he'll like forget about it. BTW, bubbles are great because you can work with him to say "more, bubbles, pop" while you are playing. If he doesn't request more or bubbles then the bubbles get put up. And you can "pop, pop, pop" as they float through the air. I use bubbles in EVERY therapy session with kids this age.
4) The freaking out with Play-Doh and chewing and spitting out foods are all part of a sensory disorder typically. I would definitely mention these things to the evaluator and probably go ahead and request on Occupational Therapy eval. Once Connor learns to accept the touch of a variety of textures on his body, hands, and in his mouth you should see a huge change in eating habits. Ask Ame all about it because she's BTDT. HTH
P.S. I *know* he is social from his pics and videos. He's an adorable little man and I have a feeling that once he gets talking he's gonna be hard to keep quiet.
One more thing...how are his play skills? Can he play appropriately with toys? Can he build with blocks without throwing or mouthing them? Can he pretend to feed a stuffed animal, give it a bath, or give it a drink?
Thanks you guys...from the bottom of my heart.
I'm getting frustrated because I have heard him say "jew" for juice a few weeks ago (while using his sign)in the car but now all he'll say is "BAH". I went 30 minutes today trying to redirect because he wouldn't say it, but he just looked so sad...almost like he was telling me, "Mom I CAN'T say juice!!! But, I'm thirsty!" I was just in tears...I don't know what to do when I'm at a point where I don't really know if he CAN say it.
I tried to work with the word "more" for another half hour and he kept saying "BAH". Again, more crying. It's frustrating for both of us.
And, yes, Pam. He DOESN'T play with blocks appropriately. In fact he throws them in the air and then giggles. He also does this with his puff puffs when he's supposed to scoop them...he scooped at first but decided it was more fun to throw them behind his head. So, I don't know if it's a toddler thing or something else.
He won't pretend to feed anyone but himself. He will pretend to eat out of a bowl. He'll even blow bubbles and pretend even more when the solution has run dry.
What do I do when I feel he CAN'T say "more" or "juice"? Do I wait another half hour? I fear his frustration level will be at a maximum. He gets mad very easily if things aren't easy for him.
BTW, he's in Montessori school and tried to swallow a marble/disk thing. He is still putting crayons in his mouth too from time to time. Is THAT normal?
The teacher wants to see him without me in the room after our next session and I told her "not yet" because I fear he will swallow those marble things just as she goes to another student. (They're like the Mancala pieces.)
Heidi, I was just reading your original post, and noticed that you said his friend is counting and saying his colours. Please don't compare Connor to that little guy, because all kids are different. Those skills aren't typical for all 23 month old kids.
Yes, mouthing objects is still normal at the toddler stage. Having marbles in a toddler room is NOT normal, and it's not safe.
Heidi - I really think it sounds like he just needs a full eval. I agree with Pamt that from what you are saying it sounds like a sensory disorder of some kind, speech, and oral motor difficulties. In my experience it seems like at least 2 out of 3 of those usually go hand-in-hand.
The only thing I might add to all of Pam's wonderful suggestions (aren't those speech people great?) is possibly some mirror work and silly play with your mouth, meaning not when you're working on using words to communicate but simply when you are playing together. If you have a hand mirror or easy access mirror, forming the mouth in different ways and making repetitive sounds. Will he copy the sounds you make? Will he copy the movements of your mouth even if he can't /won't attempt the sound? It makes the idea of using his mouth and making sounds that might seem hard to him, more fun. I use a mirror in almost every session, although my area is not focusing on speech. I also use bubbles in every session, and blowing bubbles in front of a mirror is great, too. Just trying to help! I work with so many frustrated parents and I know it's difficult when you don't know how to help.
Pamt-I'm well aware that Natalie does not understand the concept of "tomorrow", but she certainly does know that it means we will do something at a later time or when she wakes in the morning. 6yrs. may be the textbook definition, but for real kids, I've worked with a blue million 4+yr. olds in an advanced program that definitely understood "tomorrow".
My aunt, who is a developmental pediatric doctor, recommended that I get referred to Kennedy Krieger thru Johns Hopkins. I don't know if my army insurance will pay for it.
Just an FYI on Kennedy Krieger. They are the only people who do what they do with children on the East Coast. If you insurance doesn't pay for it, question who can offer those EXACT services to you. Even army insurance has allowances for this. It might be fight but it is your right. I have seen amazing things out of Kennedy and consider myself lucky to be this close to have them as a "local" option.
I don't know what Kennedy Krieger is, but it sounds great. I hope that your insurance will pay for it.
If you'd like to take a peak, you will find more information than you'd care to process at www.kennedykrieger.org
If the state offers a free eval, then your insurance will probably not cover it. You need to go through the free process first and then if you are denied you can fight it out with the insurance. BTDT.
Ame
Our state does free evals, but insurance will still pay for them to have an eval at our facility too (and we are one of the most expensive in town). It's certainly worth a try and looks like a great place!
It actually depends on your insurance and how the policy is written. Our insurance will pay for the eval wherever you would like it to be done as long as it is "in-network". However, treatment for school age kids should be done through school since that is "free". We have on occassion done treatment in conjunction with schools but so much of it depends on your insurance and where you live that it's hard to give advice that is set in stone.
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