DD is turning EVIL!!
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Help. Jade is driving us all crazy. She goes against everything she is told. Tells everyone NO when she doesn't like something and if she gets really mad will lay (throw herself) down onto the floor and have a fit. She will stomp her foot at us or tell us we are mean. She will not listen to anything.
We immidately take her to the couch and make her sit with no TV no nothing until she calms down. But this is getting too old fast. I get to spend 2hrs a night with her before it is bed time and I spend all of that time yelling at her or putting her in timeout. I try to cuddle her and sit with her but she makes it so difficult.
We do not spoil her or give her everything she wants and we do not give in or ignore the fits because they are not allowed. The yelling at us is not allowed and neither is the hitting. I cannot ignore it and hope it goes away so any other suggestions bring them on.
And Love and Logic doesn't work so other options please.
I am a Love and Logic fan, so let me apologize in advance if what I am saying does nothing more than annoy you. ;)
I think it's very important that you recognize that there are some things that are in your control and some things that are out of your control. Jade is in complete control of herself and her actions (the yelling, the tantrums, etc). There is nothing you can say or do that will transfer that control from her to you. So instead of feeling like you have to stop the yelling and tantrums because they are not allowed, instead take the attitude that they are not allowed around you. When she starts, smile (you can't yell when you are smiling), carry her to her room with a simple "That doesn't work here", put her in her room and tell her you will be happy to see her when she is feeling sweet. Don't say anything more than that. A child will NEVER handle a situation better than an adult. If you are getting upset and yelling, it's a guarantee that her bad behavior will only escalate. Stay calm. If she is pitching a fit in her room, that's okay. It's not hurting your eyes and ears because it's not happening in front of you. When she comes out and says she is sweet (she will) try whatever you were doing again.
The first couple of times you do this, the tantrum will escalate and she will try to lure you back into your old patterns. Stay calm, hang tough, and it will get better.
I hope that helps. I wasn't going to respond since I could tell you weren't that interested in hearing from me, but thought it would be better to at least try to offer something helpful. I hope that was okay. 
I have never read or tried the love and logic stuff, so this isn't from that. LOL
You yourself said that you feel you are yelling at her for the whole 2 hours you are with her. She is yelling because you do plain and simple. It is a learned behavior. The fits, I stopped them the exact way that Melanie said. I told her that she could be as mad as she wanted and could yell and scream and stomp all around all she wanted to, but that I didn't want to see or hear it. If she wanted to act like that, she needed to do it in her bedroom and when she got it all out of system, she could come out. In all honesty, I think she went to her room 3 times after that with fits. Kids throw them to get your attention. Positive or negative. If your not around to watch the fit, it does them no good and at least in my experience, they end pretty quick.
I did the same thing as Melanie when my dks would throw a fit. I would just put them in their room, and tell them they could come out when they were ready to act nice. I learned real fast that the more yelling I did, the more my dks would get out of hand. If you put her in her room instead of the couch, she has no audience.
Also, I gave my boys as many choices as I could, so they were more likely to do what I wanted when there was no choice. It might be nothing to us, but giving them a choice of a red or blue cup, putting shoes or jacket on first, etc, gives them some type of control. I noticed that when I started doing this, I got less of a fight when I asked them to do something/or asked them not to do something.
I didn't know that what I had been doing with my kids 20 years ago had a name - 'love and logic'. LOL I just thought it was common sense and passed down from my mom to me. : )
Sorry ladies I didn't mean to sound like I wanted no advice. I will try it again with putting her in her room and see what happens. I tried it before nad she would just follow me back out again. She is not allowed to close her door because she gets into things you would never think someone her age could get into. Maybe what I will do is put the baby gate in her door when she is in trouble and tell her when she is ready to be nice to call me and I will let her out.
At this point I am willing to try anything a 2nd time if it will work. I don't yell at her for the whole 2 hours I was exagetating I just listen to it because I don't want to fight with her. I generally try to ignore it but lately that just makes it worse.
Rich puts her in her room in her crib it seems like it takes forever for her to stop before we can go get her out.
Thanks ladies.
Babyproof her room and remove things that she could get into trouble with. We still need to lock DD (7.5) in her room at times. We don't let her out until she can be "sweet".
I agree with Trina on babyproofing the room completely if at all possible.
Natalie hasn't been big on throwing fits, but when she has they are big! I haven't had to confine Natalie anywhere, I just say "I'm sorry you're upset" and leave the room. She follows me, then I just ignore her completely. (Even though sometimes I feel like yelling!) It usually only lasts a few minutes and she realizes that she doesn't like me ignoring her.
Good luck!!
LOL...yeah, ditto Deanna. One time, I locked MYSELF in the bathroom! LOL!
ROFLOL....I've done the "mommy needs time out" routine too. My quite place was the bathroom as well. Works wonder in getting the kid to think about what is going on. Mostly I think they just get totally confused and spend their time on trying to figure it out rather than the bad behavior that started it.
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