How do you teach them to be "little ladies" when they wear skirts/dresses??? I have a 4yo girl I care for that can't seem to keep her legs together and her skirt down. Just a little while ago I caught her sitting with knees pulled up, spread wide and pulling on her panties. I didn't want to see that, let alone one of my kids (mine and the other daycare kiddos) seeing it! Maybe I'm too uptight, but there are boys in this house (they live here--I can't get rid of them! lol). I wish the parents of this little girl in particular would get rid of her dresses when they don't fit anymore! The dress she's wearing today barely covers her butt! I'm thinking of asking her mom to put shorts on her when she wears skirts/dresses. Do you think that's unreasonable? If I had a little girl I wouldn't like if she did this. Hm, maybe that's why my mom never put me in dresses! lol Argh!!! Okay. That's my vent for the day. I'm sure I sound like a prude...

By Tayjar on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 05:18 pm:

I don't think that's unreasonable to ask them to put shorts on under her dress. That is the standing rule at both our grade school and our town daycare. It doesn't matter how old the child is, they must wear shorts under the dress.

You are the provider, you make the rules for your house. And, I would buy a pair of shorts to put on her when they forget. When they pick her up, take the shorts off in front of them just to reinforce your point.

I can't stand this either and you don't sound like a prude. In today's world, you have to think like this. Sad, but reality.

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 05:54 pm:

I agree. At 4 years old, someone should at least begin to teach her how to behave properly while wearing a dress. I would have a spare outfit altogether for her, and change her back into her clothes that she came in before her parents come to pick her up.

You could make it a game to teach her how to sit properly and keep her legs together, like have a tea party. Unfortunately, you may need to provide the influence she needs right now (albeit not the strongest, but you do have some influence.)

Could it also be that they are hard up for cash and can't afford to buy clothes? Could you go to Goodwill and buy her some stuff that fits?

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 05:55 pm:

Some girls just cannot wear dresses. I think you are definitely not out of line to enforce a rule such as this. Even little girls who learn how to wear dresses forget at times while playing or while thinking about something else, so it is just best to have a pair of shorts on. I love it that they are making a lot of skirts with shorts "built in" already.

By Cat on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 07:04 pm:

Thanx everyone. I did talk to the mom when she picked her up and she said she'd talk to her tonight. I suggested putting biker shorts on under dresses and she agreed. I'll have to put something in my handbook. Never thought I'd need a dress code for family child care! Although, some of the school age kids I've had in the past have made me think about it. Thanx for not making me feel like a fuddy-duddy.

By Tink on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 07:30 pm:

I've got a 4yo girl and she loves to wear dresses but we've enforced the sitting like a lady rule now. I don't think that's too much to expect and I think shorts is a great solution. She'll be in school soon and it certainly won't be seen as appropriate there.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 07:41 pm:

We have to remind Madison frequently, and often put her in bloomers (she'll be 4 in June). I think that you just have to keep reminding them, even with shorts, because it is one of those things you have to learn sometime!

By Imamommyx4 on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 07:51 am:

I have a 5 yo dd that loves to wear dresses also. Several of her little skirts have the built in shorts which I love. But for the ones that don't, I usually just keep telling her to keep her legs down, she doesn't want people to see her panties. And in defense of the too short skirt, it might just have been an accident. For example yesterday dd wanted to wear her fave outfit which is a little green skirt with the built in shorts and a pink and green matching top. It's just getting warm enough to wear that outfit for the summer so I made her wear tights under it when she went to school. I didn't really pay any attention to it until we got out at school. And doggone it was short and that child has the longest legs. I apologized to her teacher and told her that that outfit wouldn't be coming back to school. They just grow so fast and that outfit was just fine the last time she had it on.

But I think you did the right thing politely telling the mom about your concerns. Sometimes people need an outside force to bring things to their attention.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 09:51 am:

I have not read any of the other responses.

I would suggest to the mom that she wear shorts under her skirt.
I always tell my dd to sit like a lady, to close her legs together and put her skirt over them. She is into the Princesses, so i tell her that princesses never show their panties, and they sit like ladys.

That seems to work pretty well.

Good luck.

By Cat on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 11:11 am:

Thanx again everyone else.

Patti, this particular little girl is VERY into princesses! That's a great suggestion.

BTW, she's wearing pants today.

By Kim on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 02:23 pm:

I did not read everyone's post. I always made my girls wear shorts under shirts and dresses. Kayla, at eight, still has to. They make them built in now! :o)

By Kiki on Sunday, April 16, 2006 - 12:42 pm:

I use to tell my oldest daughter that her panties are secret and that no one should see them. She got a kick out of that and it solved my problem.

P.S.- skorts are a good thing for tomboys

By Sandysmom on Sunday, April 16, 2006 - 05:20 pm:

Cat, when I was a kindergarten aid, there was a little girl in our class that wore dresses everyday. We'd go to the playground and she would just hike up her leg with no reservations on the monkey bars. I realize it was all innocent to her but we asked her mom the put shorts on her underneath her dresses. That helped.