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Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Sleep! Yes a huge topic!
Hi I don't know if any of you older members remember me. I haven't been here in almost a year. We vacationed and moved and all that good stuff.
Did you used to live in Alaska?
Yes, I do think that if you don't give in, you should be done in a week or less. However, it will be ugly, so be ready for it. I also don't think you should totally ignore her. What you do need to do is be consistant and put her back into her bed and leave the room again. Every night it should get easier and easier. The fist few nights it could take hours though, so be ready for that. You have to remember that this is all new to her and she is going to have to adjust to it. For almost 2 years it was one way and now all of a sudden it is going to be another. She is bound to be confused and not like it.
Not all would agree but I say let her CIO. If nothing is wrong then she will go back to bed. What about having daddy help. Can he get up and put her back to bed.
I am definetely not a supporter of CIO, but I do think that consistently putting her back in the bed is the way to go. Just keep on putting her back in- say goodnight and shut the door- I am sure after a week she will have it down! Good luck and congrats on the pregnancy!
Yes, i think it can even take three nights.
I could not do the cio and I would not do it if I was about to deliver. I'd let it go for now, try getting her to sleep in her own bed, if she won't let her sleep in a sleeping bag on your floor. Eventually she will outgrow it, why put yourself under all this stress this late in your pregnancy?
What is CIO?
cry it out
Thanks Vicki
Sorry, i didn't read all the responses but it seems that there were one or two that suggested to let her cry a bit and to be consistent. That's it, if you are going to start don't give up. It will be worth it in the end.
Well thank you so much to everyone that has posted! And yes I used to live in Alaska! We just moved here (Virginia) about 7 months ago.
To be honest, I would be more apt to try to deal with it now rather than later. She is going to have even more to adjust to once the new baby gets here and you are going to have even less sleep. I would try to get the routine down now so that it is established before the baby comes. That way, she also might not "blame" the baby for it. Are you planning on co-sleeping with the baby? She might not like that at all either. LOL It really should only take a few nights as long as you are strong and consistant and what ever you do, don't give in. You will be back to square one if you do! Every night should be easier than the one before. Good Luck!!
Ditto Vicki. Who knew we'd stress over so many decisions as a parent? I hope you're able to get this sorted out and that you can rest easy with whatever decision you make.
John got his foot stuck in the crib once when I tried crying it out so I am scared of not checking on a 21 month old in a crib when they are screaming. Also John could climb out of a crib at 21 months. (Or fall on his head trying)
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I'm personally not a fan of co-sleeping, sleeping in the same room, or anything like that, but since that's something that you obviously felt was important, I like Heaventree's suggestion. Maybe she did get too much too soon. Putting the toddler bed in your room, waiting a while, talking a lot about moving into her room and being a big girl, then doing it...that's more like weaning her out of your room, you know? A slower approach/transition. I think if you do a gradual thing like that, then you can choose to do CIO at that point. Right now she just might be terrified of this change, and although I AM a fan of CIO, I would never do it if I thought my DD was scared or confused.
Well I tried the CIO tonight to put her to bed. I sat in the hallway for about 10-15 minutes and then tried leaving. She of course got out of bed so I put her back into bed and told her night night. Then walked away and shut the door. She banged on the door as loud as possible at first but then gave up and started crying. She only screamed for about 20 minutes. I did go in once to check on her and put her back into bed and tell her night night one more time. After 50 minutes all was silence. Not sure where she ended up falling asleep too scared to go in and wake her to see! She knows that I have been trying to get her into her own bed. This has been a going on process for about a month now. I just tried other things first to see if they would work and they haven't. I wanted CIO to be the last options and I have ran out of patients by now
Glad it worked out for you. It must have been hard listening to her cry. (((HUGS)))
We put a gate on Matthew's door (as per Trina suggestion) this way he can't get out and we don't have to close the door. I like to be able to check on him without having to open the door.
Our first children are always our practice children - poor dears.
Well, that is good news!! Really 50 minutes isn't bad at all. Just make sure you do the EXACT same thing tonight and it should be even less time. I can't stress how important doing the exact same thing every night is. If you go back, even just a little, you will be back to square one and have to start all over. Good job! When she gets up today, make sure you praise her for doing so good at sleeping in her own bed last night!! Make a very big deal out of it.
Well through the night went well. I am tired but she did really good. She did keep waking up but all I had to do was wait about 5 minutes to see if she would settle back down by herself. Of course she didn't so I would just go in there, lie her down and tell her night night and then I would leave and shut the door. Every time she would do like 3 screams and then silence. She woke up about 5 times and everytime that is what happened except one time she did fall back asleep without me going in. I can't believe how well she is taking it. I thought it was going to be so much worse. Around 6:00 she woke up and I did the same thing she only slept for about 30 minutes and was back up so I tried the same thing and she wasn't having it because it was starting to get light outside. I even have the black out curtains in her room but she still can notice. So I let her cry for abour 10 minutes but then just went in there and got her and came down stairs and layed on the couch with her. She was ready to get up for the day after relaxing on the couch for about 15 minutes.
Good for you! Good luck again tonight
How do you normally handle naptime? If you usually lay down with her to get her to go to sleep, than yes, I would do the same thing. If it is just that she wants to take her nap in your bed without you having to lay down with her, I think I would let that go for now. Let us know how she does!!
Ok I thought the first night was supposed to be the hardest? She ended up not taking a nap because it just wouldn't work for the nap. She cried for at least 1 hour and a half and was still screaming her head off. I went in there a few times during saying what I did the night before. Now she has been crying for almost an hour and a half and she is still banging on the door. She better sleep good tonight with no nap, no sleep last night, and screaming so far for an hour and a half. I wasn't really expecting this tonight since she did so well yesterday. Did I mess up with the night and that is why tonight is being rough? I just wasn't sure about the nap because it is light out so I wasn't sure if that was missing things up. Are you supposed to go in after they have fallen asleep and put them back in their bed or should I just leave her until the next time she wakes? Another thing is if I sit out in the hallway for nap time will that mess with this night routine? I was hoping that she would be able to tell the difference between nap and night and then finally get it that I don't need to sit there for her nap. Just being clueless about the nap thing.
The first night is not necessarily the hardest. Sometimes it gets a little worse before it gets better, but if you can hang in there for 3-4 days then it will ALL be over and a distant memory. I am tempted to say just to let her sleep wherever she falls asleep--just maybe cover her up. But then again, she might wake up because she is uncomfortable on the floor? My kids never had this issue since we did CIO why they were still in the crib, so I don't really know. I would do the same process at nap that you are doing at night. Nap will be harder because it isn't dark. I would try for 1-2 hours and then if she doesn't sleep, go get her up, try not to act stressed or emotional, and go about the rest of your day as normal. However tell her if she gets whiny that it means she must be tired and she'll have to go back to nap. By the time she consistently figures out the night-time drill, she'll be pretty tired and she'll start to get the naptime thing down too. Hang in there!! I PROMISE (money-back guarantee
Well last night was rougher than the first
It's because she knows what is going on and she is testing you. Kids are pretty darn smart. She figures if she cries long and hard enough that you'll give in. Once she realizes that you won't and figures out that sleep is good and she is still very much loved it will come to an end. A couple more days and all will be good. Stay tough!
Like Pam said, it's because she knows what the plan is now. Therapists even call it a behavior spike. Since crying for an hour didn't work the first night, she decided to step it up a notch or two to see if she could wear you down. She didn't and tonight or tomorrow night should be much easier. You may notice this in other areas, like when she throws a temper tantrum. When she realizes that you really are going to stick with this, she'll settle in and it'll be easy as pie...until something else comes along.
Well guess what!!!! Kaylee went to sleep with no problem what so ever tonight
Whoa! That's great! I hope she sleeps the rest of the night and goes to bed nicely for you tomorrow, too!
Well the rest of the night was great. The only problem was I went in there to check on her when me and my husband were going to bed and she had pooped so I had to wake her and change her diaper! She did cry but for about 5 minutes and then was back to sleep. I chedcked on her again and she was laying on the floor by the rocking chair and wall. I didn't want to wake her so I just had to leave her
I don't think you are ever too young (or old) for a sticker chart!! LOL I bet she would get a kick out of getting to put a sticker on the chart after waking in the morning or after a nap. She is doing great!!
I don't think it matters that she slept on the floor. She never woke up, so she couldn't have been that uncomfortable. I would have woke her up to change a poopy diaper, too. I just couldn't have let that sit on her skin all night.
I think stickers are a great reinforcement at most ages. To make it more fun for her, you might put one on the chart and give her one to put on her hand or shirt. My kids loved to "have" stickers, rather than just looking at them on a piece of paper. I wouldn't worry too much about her being on the floor. That will probably change in a few nights. She'll realize that being under the blankets in bed is much more comfortable than the floor. The other alternative is that she'll get so comfortable with putting herself back to sleep that you'll be able to move her easily since she'll fall back asleep on her own within a minute or two after being moved. I'm so glad to hear that it's going so smoothly.
Okay am I doing something wrong? Tonight she is screaming as loud as possible. She has never cried this any of the other nights. Is she still testing me or did I do something? The only thing I may have messed up on is the nap. I just can't get it down. I have been sitting in there with her to fall asleep still. Well today I sat in there and left. Well she only slept for a half hour if that so I told my husband to go put her back. Well he left the door open so she came back out screaming like she is now. I put her back in there and shut the door but by then I knew it was already screwed up so I let her out within 10 minutes. Did this ruin everything? Man this hard. Should I let her cry at naptime too? The first time I tried making her cry at naptime she cried for 1 and an half hours and just thrashed to room while crying.
Ditto Tink. Natalie is about the same age and LOVES stickers, but she *wants* them on her skin, not on paper.
I would also let her CIO at naptime. She is getting a mixed message if you'll sit with her during the day but not at night. Naptimes always seem to be a bit more difficult since kids are less tired and it's light outside. There is usually less of a routine leading up to naptime so maybe you can make up a small routine so she knows what to expect? Maybe lunch, clean-up, diaper change, a book and then nap. Give her plenty of warning that it's time to settle down and that she'll be going to bed soon. Stickers can be given for naptimes, too. I don't know how full her room is but we just dragged the toybox out of my ds's room for naptime when he would destroy his room. He still had his stuffed animals and we'd often find him asleep in the midst of all of them.
ditto Tink and Reds
She is doing it tonight because it worked this afternoon. Yes, do the exact same thing at naptime and at bedtime. Good luck!!
Ditto, everyone else. You have to do it at both naptime and bedtime for it to work. Be consistant and stick with it. It will get better soon!
Well I took everyones advice and did it at naptime today. She cried for about an hour and then went to sleep. She only slept for like 20 minutes though and then was back to screaming her head off. I went and got her since she did fall asleep even though it wasn't a very good nap. She was still way tired.
That's what I used to with Natalie at nap times. She would scream for an hour, sleep 20-30 min., then up. I would also get her then, too. I just had a "length of time" goal for the time in her room, regardless of how long the actual nap was.
She has always taken naps in her bed but I would sit in there with her until she fell asleep. She used to take almost 2 hour naps but now even when I sat in there with her they are only 20-30 minutes.
But the thing is, she has no idea how long she slept. So getting her out of the room when she wakes from a nap isn't a big deal. Like I said, she doesn't know if she slept for 20 minutes or 2 hours. Just make a big deal about her sleeping in her room!!
yeah that is true. I did let her out because I knew she would scream forever since she did get some sleep.
Well we are doing much better at nap today. Hopefully it stays like this. She only cried for about 15 minutes today and now there is silence. We will see if she sleeps for longer than 20 minutes
Glad to hear she is doing better. Just make SURE you keep up the routine when your MIL comes and she does it while your in the hospital delivering and recovering. (I am assuming she will be watching her)
Well she slept for 45-50 minutes
Yes she will be watching Kaylee for us!
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She cried for 3 hours before finally giving up. Then when she woke in middle of the night she would cry for 5-10 minutes (which isn't bad but not as good as the first night). Is it because I gave in at nap time or because she knows what is going on for sure now?