I need help. I'm at such a loss. I don't even know how to discipline anymore. I'm doing it all wrong and i'm back to the spanking and yelling on a regular basis. I know it's not always the appropriate punishment but I get so frustrated that I just don't care. She doesn't listen, she talks back, she runs off when I tell her to come here. She has MAJOR attitude. I can't leave her alone for more than 2 minutes (seriously, two minutes!!!) before she's sneaking into something or causing a total mess. And it's things she knows she's not supposed to do but she runs off and tries to hide when she hears me coming. She's pushing me to the limit and I do have a breaking point. I can't handle this. Nobody warned me that the 3's are SOOOOOO much worse than the 2's.

What am I supposed to do with her? I know I need a whole new approach but before I can do that I need to find some sort of patience within myself. She's just pushed me to the point where I wake up every morning saying "What is she going to do today?" It's bad.

By Vicki on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 12:32 pm:

I am not help at all. I have always said that the 3's are soooo much worse than the 2's!! I have no idea who made up the term terrible twos, but I have always thought they are off by a year. With dd, I swear she changed the say of her 3rd birthday and it lasted until her 4th birthday almost to the day!! It was a very trying year. I don't think it matters as much what your disipline is, as long as you do it EVERYTIME without fail. Consistancy is the key. Don't try one thing for a few days and then decide it isn't working and try something else. I personally feel you need to give something at least 2 weeks before deciding it isn't working. It takes them a little time to realize that this is the new way of life!! You will both live through it....but it won't be easy!! LOL

By Tink on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 12:36 pm:

{{{Melissa}}} I couldn't believe how much worse Bella was at three when her two's had been so easy. I've noticed that I tend to yell and get really angry when I'm taking her misbehavior personally. I try to step back emotionally and respond to my kids the way I would if it weren't my child. If I was babysitting a little girl that just emptied the kitchen drawers, colored on the table, and tried to shave the cat, I'd be much less likely to lose my temper and I certainly wouldn't spank another person's child. So...how would I handle someone else's kid? I'd keep them VERY busy and occupied, I'd have crafts, outside time, I'd pretend with her. Busy hands have less time to get into things and I tend to be right there with them all the time so that they don't have the chance to get into things. Cleaning gets done during naptime and after bed, showering gets done before she gets up in the morning, anytime I have to be busy I make sure that she is COMPLETELY involved in something. It's a hassle and a pain in the rear but if I do this with my kids for a week or so, it breaks the misbehaving cycle and they seem to snap out of it...for a little while at least.

The other major thing that helps me is to re-read parenting books. I like SOS for Parents but there are plenty of them out there to remind me of the more effective ways to discipline like Love and Logic, 123 Magic or the Supernanny even has one out now that I liked. Good luck, I promise it doesn't stay like this forever.

Yikes, sorry for the novel I wrote.

By Colette on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 12:59 pm:

Melissa, go to your local library and take out some parenting books. Look at the many different techniques for disciplining a child and see which one will work for you and Kaitlyn. Good luck!

By Jewlz on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 02:57 pm:

lol I use to call the phrases this.
terrible twos ...
threatening threes
and fortunate fours ... ( that they were lucky enough to live thru the 2and 3 stage and continue lol not really just what Id say to myself when I thought i was at the end of my rope)
just take a deep breath and set consistent boundaries and as some one said busy hands and minds keep them out of trouble more and creating an imagination. i promise it gets easier eventually

By Breann on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 07:39 pm:

3's were a disaster with my little boy. He recently turned 4, and I am starting to see an improvement in his behavior. 2 was a piece of cake compared to 3!

By Amyk on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 06:45 am:

Dr. Phil's site usually has some good ideas. Is your dd reacting to anything going on in your life? Be sure you tell her each day at least one thing you really love about her and enjoy. Praise the heck out of her good behavior and give her lots of attention when she is behaving appropriately. This too shall pass... :-)

Oh, and when possible - try to tone down your reaction to what she is doing to get your goat - sometimes a whole bunch of negative attention is a payoff for them. If she makes a big mess, could you just calmly go "Now, dd - you know we don't play w/ XX - you're off to time out and then we'll clean it up.

I know it may not be that easy - but I've found that it works w/ my 2.5 yo when he tries to get my attention w/ outrageous behavior. I just don't react and it takes all the excitement out of it for him.

By Reds9298 on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 06:57 am:

Keep her busy, busy, busy! Lots of activities planned for the day, and throw in some new things. Be consistent with whatever you choose to do discipline-wise. Good luck!!