I think Connor's already in his terrible 2's.

The smallest things are setting him off and he's hitting me, throwing stuff, etc. He just seems to want to do whatever he wants and doesn't want any limits.
He's throwing fits so bad, I have to put him in his crib to calm him down.
He was also up from 3-4:30 this morning, screaming. The only thing that calmed him was rocking him and holding him.
I'm SO exhausted... how do I set limits without having him throw things (he threw his whole drum set) or hitting me?
Gosh, I miss my DH badly...

By Amecmom on Saturday, January 28, 2006 - 11:15 am:

And that's exactly Connor's problem, too, Heidi, but you don't need me to tell you that. His routine has been upset. Kids are super sensitive to everything around them. Helen had been up for nights on end and I couldn't figure out why. I went back to her "old" routine of two naps during the day, and she was sleeping through again.

I wish I could give you a magic solution, but there isn't one. Just try and keep his days and routines as structured and predictable as you can. With any luck, this will reassure him and he'll settle down. It will take time because he's missing your dh, too. And he has the added stress of knowing mommy is unhappy and not really understanding why.

Hugs. Be strong. When he's 20, he won't be throwing drumsets .
Ame

By Reds9298 on Saturday, January 28, 2006 - 02:20 pm:

I agree with Ame. Try to stick with routines as much as possible, give him plenty of attention (which I know you do!), and don't give-in on your limits either. This has all been a big adjustment for both of you, and he feels your emotions, too. {{Hugs}}

By Nicki on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 01:31 am:

I agree with Ame, too. My dd went through a stage of throwing, hitting and terrorizing our two cats. I was beside myself. She is three now, and for the most part the storm is over! She is SO gentle with the cats, and seldom throws her toys. (Her favorite was her doll's tea set on a small table. She'd throw the whole thing across her room!) She will occasionally hit me if really upset, but often breaks down in tears when I tell her that's not okay. I can remember during the two's, reprimands seemed futile.
I hope it will get better, for both your sakes.
Sending a hug.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 10:45 am:

Heidi, I totally agree with Ame. I'm so sorry. This is a time when you are probably feeling your lowest, and need some comfort yourself, and you have to be your strongest for Connor. I KNOW it's tough.

I don't think Connor is old enough for a talk, something like *It's OK to feel sad and angry that Daddy is gone, Mommy feels sad too*. You can't reason with him at his age. He doesn't fully understand what he's feeling so that's where all of this is coming from.

Continue making his days structured and *safe*. When he does something like hit, etc., discipline in your normal manner, firmly. Maybe you can help him draw or make cards or something, or banners, for when Daddy comes home. Keep reinforcing that Daddy WILL be coming home. He needs to feel safe right now.

And I am sure YOU need a good scream and cry too! Have one, though not in his presence.

And....many huge {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

By Mrsheidi on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 01:26 pm:

Thanks you guys!!! I loved reading your responses.

I think I will start to plan his day a little more. He's also getting bored, I think, especially with all this rain.

Time to break out the crayons!!! He just wants to watch Elmo all day...wonder if he'll outgrow that? LOL
I have Elmo songs stuck in my head...gggrrrr!

I had a break yesterday and today though. My DMIL came and rescued me from self destructing. Connor and I had the worst morning yesterday and she drove 3 hours to help me. Plus, I got an evening out with the chicks, so that REALLY helped!

Thanks again, everyone. I have been feeling like a bad mommy lately.

By Kiki on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 03:54 pm:

Ame is on a roll, I agree with her as well. Hang in there. I think the terrible 2's begins around the 1st birthday anyway.

By Nicki on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 07:25 pm:

"La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la, Elmo's World..." Lol, if I never hear that little theme song again, I will be quite okay! Lara was a big Elmo fan for so long. I used to wake up with that silly song in my head in the middle of the night. Now I get the theme song from that little show called "Charlie and Lola" stuck in my head. Lara did outgrow Elmo, and has moved on to Lola. She watches it daily, even the many re-runs! Which makes me wonder as I write. Maybe it is comforting for our little ones to watch these shows over and over? Entertaining and very familiar? Just thinking out loud.

So glad you had a break, Heidi. You sure deserve it. I think you are a very good, caring mom dealing with a lot of stress right now.

By Kim on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 07:28 am:

Something that helps me with the ones tremendously is teaching them some basic sign language. Then they can get across what they need sometimes! Just another idea...