I was planning on taking Rylee to the park today. When she woke up, I told her we were goin later in the day when it warms up a little. She LOVES the park so much. Anyways, I went to put the clothes in the waching machine to start a load of laundry, I have a lot to do today, and when I came back inside, Gizmo's water bowl was emptied out all over the kitchen floor and Rylee was soacked. She knows better than to do that now. I told her that I was very upset, and that we weren't going to the park. She got so upset. I have never heard her cry like that. It sounded so sad. I want to give in and tell her that we will go after her nap, but I don't know if I should.

Am I being to hard on her? What would you do?

By Rayanne on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:18 am:

I forgot to mention that Gizmo's water bowl isn't a small one. It's one of those ones that keeps filling up.
It looks like this:

By Mommmie on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:18 am:

I would follow through on this one, but really it seems a harsh response. Course, had you told her, "If you spill that water we are not going to the park" and she spilled it, well, then no park.

I would have made her clean it up (as best as she can at her age) and then that would have been it.

And, no, I wouldn't find anything fun to do this afternoon as a substitute for missing the park.

By Vicki on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:19 am:

Well, I would stick to what you said. Saying one thing and doing another is NOT something that you want to start. I am not sure that I would have taken the park away, but that is over now. Perhaps you can stick to that and not go to the park, but instead, do something else that is fun instead. I wouldn't tell her that your replacing it, but if you think you were too harsh, it might ease your mind. LOL

By Trina~moderator on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:19 am:

Since you have already told her that you're not going to the park I think you need to stick by it. She needs to understand that when Mommy says something she means it. If you change your mind she won't take you seriously in the future. Don't let the crying and drama get to you. They learn very quickly how to push Mom and Dad's buttons. If she learns that her crying was successful at getting her way, WATCH OUT! LOL! That said, I don't think I would have been so harsh over a spilled water bowl. Yes, I would have firmly told her, "No," and made her help clean it up but I wouldn't have taken away a much needed trip to the park, unless maybe if it was a repeated offense. Toddlers are naturally curious and will make messes. Gosh, I have many stories about the messes my DD has gotten into!

By Truestori on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:21 am:

I'm a softie, when they are little, also! LOL

Now that she knows you won't take her, don't go back on your word. It makes your heart melt when they cry, but this is just the beginning, trust me!

By Trina~moderator on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:27 am:

"It makes your heart melt when they cry, but this is just the beginning, trust me!"

DITTO Truestori!

By Rayanne on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:32 am:

I just feel like maybe it's too harsh of a punishment. I should have thought a little more before I said it. I feel like such a mean mommy right now. She's already over it, but I'm not.

Maybe if she does smothng good, she can earn the park back, like maybe cleaning up her room?

By Rayanne on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:35 am:

I am goin back on my word. I know that's wrong, but this is just eating me up inside.
I jumped and got mad and didn't think first. I spoke out of anger and thought of the first thing that came to my mind.
I will tell her that if she takes a good nap and cleans up her room, like I keep trying to teach her to do, then we can go to the park. It will make me feel better. We need to go to the park too. She wanted to go yesterday, but we had too much to do.

By Kate on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:43 am:

You're not wrong, Rayanne. If a grown up makes a mistake, like you did, you need to own up to it! I have also had to explain to my kids that I reacted too quickly and hadn't truly thought. (and really...how many times do our kids screw up for that very same reason? it's good for them to see that ADULTS do it, too) In your case I would have said that mommy truly was upset that baby had spilled the water dish, but that baby didn't deserve to be punished so severely. Mommy is very sorry she got so angry and took the park away. Mommy has thought and thought about it and doesn't think baby deserves to lose the park. Therefore, mommy and baby will still go to the park, but baby HAS to be more careful with the water dish. If the water dish gets spilled again, then mommy WILL have to be more harsh.

By Rayanne on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 10:51 am:

Thanks Kate. I told Rylee that i was sorry, and that after her nap we will go to the park, but she also has to clean up her room. She did!!!!!! Yay!!!!!! I told her that she needs to leave Gizmo's water bowl alone, and if she does it again, then we will not go to the park today. She said, "Ok Mommy." How cute is that?

By Kate on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 11:16 am:

Great, Rayanne! I think you've done her a great service by modeling the behavior you did! Have fun at the park!

By Dawnk777 on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 11:25 am:

I think you did a great job! I know how easy it is to say something you really shouldn't have.

By Reds9298 on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 12:54 pm:

Haven't read the responses but, it does seem a little harsh to me, but since you already said it, don't go back on it!

By Luvn29 on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 05:13 pm:

I've always heard that especially at that age, kids need something concrete in punishment and the punishment needs to happen "right now". I've heard that if you take something away that is supposed to happen much later, the child won't relate it to the cause, and it won't do any good anyway.

I understand completely Rayanne. I have never been able to take away something fun like that that the kids have been looking forward to. I typically use a time out chair for my dd. That works better than anything for her. My ds is never in it because he is just an easy child. So was my dd at his age, though.

And yep, I've said something in the heat of the moment and then regretted it and took it back. Heck, it's just life. We all make mistakes. And I just enjoy doing the fun stuff too much to take it away.

I think you did the right thing. I've found that if my kids are irritating me to the point of making harsh decisions, more than likely they need to get away anyhow, and we'll all do better after the break. If Rylee is doing something like that, then the trip to the park will do her good because she can get all that excess energy out!

By Rayanne on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 05:34 pm:

We went to the park and it was sooo much fun. We bought a new sucker fish too. I love seeing her face when she swining and sliding.