I posted this on the debate board too, under Melissa's post but I was just wondering...

The other day, my BIL said "I am glad my son never picked up on the word "no"." (His son is 3 months older than Connor.)
Um, excuse me? His son just grunts...at least Connor can tell me what he does and does not want. He's being a typical toddler and really, his son was saying "no" by turning his head away frantically so what's the difference?

Apparently there are a lot of people who try not to not teach their child "no".

What's your take on this?

By Pamt on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:00 pm:

Saying "no" or using words to protest is actually something we test for during speech evals.

By Tink on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:27 pm:

Every child is going to find some way to protest, whether it is saying "no", shaking his head, running away, etc. An internet-friend didn't use No with her daughter but used "Don't" instead and her dd says that now. My ds only had a vocab of about ten words until he was 3 1/2 but one of those phrases was "no, thank you" because he was shouting "No!" and we figured he might as well sound polite and would only accept that. I'm in your camp, better to use words than to just grunt and shake his head.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:37 pm:

I thought it was a wonderful thing, when my kids could say yes or no! His child is protesting by shaking his head, so he is still saying it!

When my kids could actually say yes or no, then they were starting to communicate. What is the big thing, with "no?"

By Andi on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:48 pm:

Taylor can say no & Yes, I love that she can communicate with us.
She has about 30-40 clear words and the one she loves the most right now is... MOVE!! (She hears me tell the dog that all the time, so now she has to say it everytime she walks next to Chyanne...Our 100 pound Rottweiler.) that gets a bit annoying after a while. LOL

By Nicki on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 04:12 am:

And I think it's a large part of their testing their independence. Like Dawn, I was glad when Lara started to say "no". I would have actually worried more if she didn't!

By Reds9298 on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 07:31 am:

Definitely says 'no' and SHOULD IMO.

By Kim on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 07:41 am:

No is when a child starts to realize that they are their own entity! I also think its a wonderful thing! They can express better what they need. It means they are becoming their own person. I typically see the "no" come out right before my kids move to the two year old room!


He is a man. A lot of them just don't get it! LOL, sometimes the things men say and think about childrearing make me laugh.

By Kaye on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 08:14 am:

LOL people are funny, so if he makes the comment again, your comment back needs to be something like, I am sure you son will catch up soon

By Kaye on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 08:14 am:

LOL people are funny, so if he makes the comment again, your comment back needs to be something like, I am sure your son will catch up soon

By Jackie on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 08:18 am:

Faith is 17 months old and sais No from time to time. But, she doesnt quite have the meaning down. Sometimes you ask her a question and she sais a firm NO, when she really means yes.

By Amecmom on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 08:47 am:

Helen has also just started to get the meaning of "no". When she says it in a soft almost giggly voice, she means "yes" When it's emphatic and accomapnied by waving arms she really means "no".
Over the past few days she's started to say yes.
Her protest word, though, is "wait!"
It's too cute!
Oh - ditto Kaye
Ame

By Heaventree on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 10:19 am:

I don't have a problem with the word "No", however, sometimes when I hear DH alone with Matthew that's all he says:

"No, Matthew, don't touch", No Matthew leave that alone", No Matthew, stop that", No Matthew, get out of there".

So I did talk to DH and asked if he could find a better word or way to communicate with Matthew.

As for Matthew saying No, it's part of everyday vocabulary he's going to learn it eventually so I don't really get your BIL's point. Kids fixate on words sometimes, big deal. Matthew sometimes says no when he actually means yes.

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 10:52 am:

ROFL Kaye! I love that response!

By Kate on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 11:13 am:

Welllll, I do prefer they not learn 'no' so early so that they aren't tyrannical little things saying NO NO NO in a huff. When I was little, my mother's word was 'naughty' because she said it was harder to say and we kids couldn't pick it up so quickly. So if we did something wrong or reached for something we shouldn't touch, she would firmly say 'naughty' and we would get the point without learning how to backtalk. When my kids were little I attempted the
'naughty' and used it a bit, but for some inexplicable reason, I would always say 'deppa deppa' when they were treading in forbidden territory. Don't ask...it's one of those odd sayings that become standard in one particular family. At any rate, my kids (and myself when I was little) all learned the word 'no' eventually, and how to communicate it. Not knowing it did not stunt their vocabulary or their independence in any manner, nor did they grunt in place of it. I do understand how some kids pick up 'no' and use it constantly and drive people crazy, so I do think the less they hear of that particular word, the better.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 11:56 am:

Oh boy does she say "no". I don't mind that she says it because shes expressing herself and making decisions but she's not allowed to say in a mean or demanding way.

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 05:41 pm:

Kaye, that's terrific!

By Conni on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 06:12 pm:

You should say 'Your right, he grunts just like you BIL!!!'

All of my kids learned the word 'no'.