Help with night terrors

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Ok, I need some help from you experienced mommies!! My friend's 2 year old daughter started waking up screaming, and was unresponsive to her parents, they couldn't console her or get her to "wake up". When my friend told me about the episodes, I immediately thought "night terrors", based on things I've seen here. They've been occurring in spurts for the last 2 weeks, a couple nights in a row, then nothing, then starting again. When she starts screaming, her eyes are open, but it's like she's asleep. When she finally "wakes up", she is upset, but doesn't remember anything. Then she's afraid to go back to sleep, and her parents are getting NO sleep during those nights. They've taken her to the doctor twice, and were told it was just nightmares the first time (doc said be careful with what she sees on TV), and the second time they said there is just nothing they can do for them. Well, the little girl is now sleepwalking as well. They have 2 flights of stairs, this is a big problem. The episodes are affecting her parents and her big sister, as no one is sleeping well with her screaming. Her dad is one of DH's soldiers, and missed a formation when these first started. DH knew about the problems, and talked it over with their chain of command, but being late to work is just not something that can happen, and can seriously affect promotion. So, the doc's assessment of "live with it until it passes" is just not OK, it's taking too great of a toll on everyone. I babysit this girl a couple days a week, she's a very healthy and intelligent toddler, but I can see how the lack of good sleep is affecting her. Anyway, any experiences/advice y'all have for them would be greatly appreciated.

By Kaye on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 04:44 pm:

I am a sleepwalker. (maybe I should have posted that under secrets..lol). Mine started about the same age and it was frightening to my parents. My dd has a little of this, but not as bad as I was.

In reality there isn't much they can do, but child proof. Things that I found were important, a consistent bedtime routine, low stimulation for at least an hour before bed. A nice comfy bed. I know that sounds funny, but so many of us pass down old mattresses to kids, buy cheap sheets, etc. A new mattress changed my sleep walking from 4-5 nights a week, to once every couple of weeks.

As an adult I sleep walk very little, but lack of sleep causes it, stress causes it. So if I didn't sleep well the night before, then I need a nap the next day. If I am really stressed out I take a long hot bath before bed and that usually helps. BUT sometimes it just doesn't make a difference. When we were selling our home and hubby had already moved, I was up walking 2 or three times a week that I know of. The thing is you don't always know. I tend to wake up in a different room (like the sofa, once in my car).

By Colette on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 05:00 pm:

I am a sleepwalker too. I don't think there is much they can do but childproof the house and install either an alarm on the doors leading outside and into the basement or use a chain lock up high. It can be dangerous. I opened my cellar door and started going down stairs (apparently anyways, I don't remember) I woke up as I was hitting the cement floor. I tend to sleepwalk during times of stress or lack of sleep. I also will start talking total nonsense if you try and wake me...like I told dh and his friend all about "poodle lobsters" once.

So, I guess I should have just written Ditto, Kaye!

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 05:03 pm:

My DS had night terrors as a toddler. I found they tended to happen when our schedule was thrown off for whatever reason. He never did sleep walk, but at the time there was a gate on his bedroom doorway, so he wouldn't have gotten far if he did. LOL! Yes, night terrors are very scarey and upsetting to witness but the best thing to do is NOT wake them up. They don't even remember them in the morning.

Here's a good article:
What Are Night Terrors?

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 05:09 pm:

Forgot to mention, DD used to have similar episodes where she appeared to wake up crying. She was half asleep and incoherent. We would carry her to the bathroom and put her on the toilet. She would pee and then we'd put her back into bed. In the morning she was totally clueless that we had done so. LOL!

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 05:10 pm:

Thank you for such quick responses. I guess it's relevant to add that the parents are having marital trouble, and are in counseling. They've been together since they were young teens, and split last year (before we knew them), but are now working things out. I **really** think having a more consistant sleep schedule will help, and plan on talking to my friend about it today. They do have comfortable beds and sheets for the kids, the girls have a "princess" room, very pretty and comfortable. Any other tips are greatly appreciated!! We're close enough with this couple to talk openly about these things, so I promised my friend that I'd find out all I could for her.

By Colette on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 07:36 pm:

On second thought, don't use a chain on the doors, maybe on the cellar door, but if there ever was a fire you wouldn't want a chain on the outside doors. I hope they find something that works.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 07:58 pm:

Argh... I had a reply, but the server was locked. Trina, thanks for the article. I just talked to her daddy when he came to pick her up, he and DH play video games at their house, and I was wondering if she saw that, maybe something from the games was causing her sleep problems. Also, from that article, the episodes are more like the "true sleep terrors" than "confused awakening", she bolts up in bed, eyes open, screaming as if she were being harmed. She shakes and sweats, and when she was sleepwalking she was shaking the dvd rack in their bedroom. I told him about the calm routine and sleep schedule, that they shouldn't wake her, and should consider a gate to keep her safe. It's really been hard on them since it's happening almost every night, so I hope they can find something that works.

By Amecmom on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 08:12 pm:

Has the doc suggested a mild sedative - like an antihistimine? Sometimes that - or something Camomile based can be helpful.

Ame

By Kaye on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 08:20 pm:

You know chains on outside doors aren't bad. They are easily broken (unless you buy special ones). So in case of a fire you could get in with force (the firemen sure could).

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 08:25 pm:

My oldest daughter had night terrors, when she was about 2, also. We didn't try to wake her up, but would go in and try to comfort as best we could. Sometimes we just brought her into bed with us. I remember being able to get back to sleep, though, after it happened. It was just a freaky thing, though, to have a child screaming and not be awake. She also sleptwalked, too, but was older and able to negotiate stairs, so I never worried about her falling. She hasn't had a sleepwalking episode in a LONG time.

Her 2yo years were a long time ago, so I can't remember if there was anything specific that brought it on, on a given day. They did start after Emily was born, so maybe the new baby in the house had something to do with it.

By Tink on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 08:46 pm:

Seth had night terrors for about four years. They were awful and terrifying. We'd wrap my ds up tightly in a blanket and offer him something to drink, if he even woke up. Usually, he'd fall asleep in our arms or want to go back to bed. I don't think I have any advice beyond what others have suggested but I wanted to let you know that there is someone else who has dealt with them and lived to talk about it.

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 09:43 pm:

Tried to post this earlier, but server was locked. Someone may have said some of this, but I am just cutting and pasting it.

My daughter started having night terrors as an infant! I didn't know what they were at the time, but once she got older, I figured it out. I know that this is your friend's dd, but it will be easier for me to say her and your when typing, but you'll know what I mean....

Do not try to wake her. Hold her tightly in your arms, and speak comfortingly and rock her back and forth trying to settle her down.

I have recently heard that if you wake a child up prior to them falling in REM sleep, they will bypass the night terror. I didn't find this out till my dd slowed down having them, so I don't know if it works, but I do look back and realize that those times my dd woke on her own, she did not have one. So try waking her about an hour and a half after she goes to sleep. Rouse her up just enough to wake her and then let her go back to sleep to see if this calms them some.

My dd tended to have them worse in the summer when she played hard and slept in a deeper sleep. Also, when she is over-stressed she will still have them. So make sure she is getting enough sleep and not wearing herself out so much that she gets overly tired.

There is nothing medically you can do about them, and they are terrifying and heartwrenching for the parents to go through as well. I felt so helpless when she did this as a small child. I was very hesitant about letting her sleep on the top bunk, but she tends to only sit up and holler out now, and she doesn't try to get out of bed.

I know that I could never close my dd's door because I would fear her having them and me not hearing, but maybe they could put a baby gate up on the door. At least that way, they won't worry about her going down the steps.

My dd is nine and has almost stopped having them. But I'll never forget those nights going through them with her. I hope some of the advice you get here helps.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 10:13 pm:

We never had to worry about not hearing Sarah, when she had them! She was pretty loud!

Emily had them to a certain extent, too. Even up until the last year or so, she would wake up, cry out, and go back to sleep. I eventually stopped even going in there, since there was nothing I could do, anyway.

By Marcia on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 12:09 am:

My 9 year old has had night terror episodes since she was tiny. If I get her up to pee before I go to bed, she's normally fine. If I forget or go too late, I think the feeling of having to go it part of what sets her off. She SCREAMS, and has no recollection. It's a blood curdling scream, and doesn't normally stop until one of us goes in. We're pretty fortunate that the other 4 kids don't wake up - even the kids who have been sleeping with her. I can't understand it, but I'm sure glad!!

By Jodes on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 09:14 pm:

My son, who is 8, began having night terrors at around 18 months old, and he still has them, as a matter of fact, he has had 3 in the past week. They used to happen at least once a or twice a week, but they have gradually slowed down, until recently. The only links I have been able to find is, he normally has to go to the bathroom right after the night terror ends, so I am thinking possibly the feeling of having to go partially wakes him and sends him into the terror, also, I know they happen more often when he is sick. They also always happen within about 2-3 hours after he falls asleep. They are the scariest thing to experience, he will point and scream "get away get away!", he shakes terribly, and recently, he will try to run away, I literally have to try and restrain him, which is getting harder and harder to do since he is getting bigger. I did talk with his doctor about it at his check up, and he said there is an option of medication only if it affected his daily routine, like if it affected his schoolwork for example, so since that is not the case, the doctor and I both felt medication wasn't needed.Since I am seeing them decreasing, I keep hoping eventually he will outgrow them. I wish I could be of more help, but I sure can relate!