Son in the dog house today! LOL
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It's funny now but I was put into an awkward situation today...
I have always told my kids that if they are in a situation that they couldn't think of an answer or felt overwhelming peer pressure that they could use Dh or me as an excuse. ie: My mom doesn't like us to jump on the bed, my dad said we could never play in his truck, etc..
Well, today my 8 yr old ds was playing nicely with the boy next door. Slept at his house last night; just the two of them really getting along. Another neighbor boy wanted to play with them today but my son and the first friend didn't want the new one to play with them. My ds told the boy "we can't play with you because my mom doesn't like you." !!!!
The mom of the first boy told me what happened and that mom #2 told her that her feelings were hurt! I felt awful.
Anyway, I explained to my ds about using his own words, how to be tactful, using me as an excuse for peer pressure and how he has to find his own words if he doesn't want to play with someone....which is fine.
I called the mom to apologize and clear the air. She is a K teacher in our school and I felt like such a heal. She understood the situation and was glad that I called.
Funny now.....but I hate confrontations! 
Well, first, you did the right thing. You called the mom, apologized, and she understood.
And you explained to your son.
I remember my boys, in their teens, using "you know my mom" as the reason they couldn't do something, so that they wouldn't be called chicken, and I think that's an excellent technique. Wish I had thought to teach it, instead of my sons coming up with it on their own - might have kept them out of some trouble.
I think 8 is a bit young to fully understand the difference between "I don't want to do it because it's dangerous and besides which my foks would be angry, so I'll just use mom/dad as the excuse" and the situation you describe. But I'm sure he'll understand it a lot better after today.
Now - what can a kid do if he doesn't want to play with another child - no particular reason, other than maybe, like your son, the two of them were having fun and didn't want a third?
Seems to me that a child should be able to not play with someone just because he doesn't want to, but how can the child handle it? And of course, there's always the issue of excluding another child just to be mean. What do you moms of younger kids do to work that out?
Something similiar happened to me the other day, except I really did say it.
DD wanted to invite a friend over to play. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to invite "this" girl since this girl never invites her for a playdate. She insisted this was the friend she wanted so she invited her. Later as they are playing I overhear DD tell the girl that her mom really didn't want her to invite this other girl since she never gets invited over there.
I meant to talk to her later but forgot
Yikes! I think most of us have been put in that kind of situation once or twice! My dd has a neighborhood friend that is welcome to play over here but I'm less than impressed with her homelife and my dd isn't allowed to play over there. I explained to my dd why and she told the little girl, who then told her mom. Ugh! Mom threw a fit and called me, complaining and upset that I thought our family was better than her's.
Annie, my mom always told us to use our parents as an excuse, if necessary, and it was VERY helpful when I was in high school. I've already told my dks the same thing.
Ginny, I have tried to teach my kids that they need to include others, including their siblings, but if they really don't want to, they can tell them, politely and respectfully, that they'd like to play with the "third" friend a little later and, if I'm nearby, we immediately make plans for later that afternoon, the next weekend, etc.
I was told the same thing in a parenting class years ago - to encourage your children to use you as an excuse, especially when under peer pressure. And to let your spouse do the same!
It's hard when they're only 8 - hard to understand the subtle issues of being tactful, etc. I think you did well.
I'm trying to teach my kids to handle the "I just don't want to play with you just because I don't want to" thing by saying some version of what I say when I'm asked by a teacher, neighbor, etc. (someone not a friend) to do something, "Sorry, but I can't. Thanks for asking though." Kids need to learn the power of "No" and that they don't always have to offer a reason/excuse.
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