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Ds wants to change his name!

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2005: Ds wants to change his name!
By Cat on Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 12:27 pm:

UG!!! Robin's decided he wants to change his name to Zack. Okay, so I know kids find names they like, and that's totally normal. I loved the name Cassandra when I was young. I even thought about what it would be like to change my name to that, but never actually thought to even ask to do it! Well this little bugger's throwing a fit! He's saying he's never liked his name and that if I don't start calling him Zack and let him change it he'll just ignore me until I do. NOT going to happen. I explained to him that it's not that simple (many places it would have to be changes, medical, military, school, etc), not to mention the meaning it has for us, especially dh (there's a story there and Robin knows it). I even told him I think it's great he likes that name, so why not save it for when he has kids. Nope, little Mr. Obsession doesn't want that. I hate when he fixates on things! I know, this too shall pass. I just have to deal with Mr. Grumpy Pants until then. Thanx for letting me vent. I have to go get What's-His-Face to get busy on his school work.

By Tink on Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 12:54 pm:

I hated my middle name and was adamant that it be changed from about the age of 12 on. My mom told me that if I still hated it at 18, she'd give me the money to have it legally changed. I hated it all through high school and about 6 months before I turned 18, I realized that I'm much more than my name. I really think my desire for a name change was more about searching for an "identity", rebellion against my parents and a desire to change the person I was. Not liking myself was a huge problem for me (still is!) and I thought if my name was changed, I'd act more like the impression that my "new" name gave me. Maybe find out if Robin feels like that and see if there are any changes that would let him feel that way without the drastic-ness of a name change. Or you could just call him by it and wait for him to outgrow it.

Incidentally, the name I wanted to change mine to is now one of my oldest dd's middle names! :)

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 03:26 pm:

I like my name. It's fun being part of a exclusive group of people all named "Dawn Marie!"

Not all Dawns have the middle name of Marie. I think it's great being one that is!

By Sunny on Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 03:40 pm:

Hey, you could always tell him that all the gifts under the tree will be "To: Robin" and that if he really insists on changing his name, you'll have to find another boy named Robin to give the gifts to.

Not sure what to tell you. I think all kids go through it at one point or another. I have on occasion told my kids when they told me to call them by a different name that I named them when they were born, so I'll call them what ever I like. Of course, they never pushed the issue like your DS is doing, so that may not work. Good luck anyway! :)

By Heaventree on Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 08:18 pm:

Let him watch an episode of Desperate Housewives and he can see how creepy the kid Zack is on the show, maybe that will change his mind.

You know when you're picking out names for your child before they are born and if you knew someone in the past that you did not like there is no way you'll pick that name?

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 08:30 pm:

I think most boys go through this honestly. All the boys in my family did anyway. Most just wanted to use the adult name though.. Like Mikey wanted to be called Michael. Tommy wanted to be called Thomas. Dougy wanted to be called Douglas. Basically it was a huge pain in the rear end. My nephew Jacob now goes by JJ. Maybe it isn't his name but the fact that all of his friends are transitioning to their "adult" names and he doesn't see that he can just transition his too. Robin, could go by Robby or Rob.. And actually, every third person asks if my real name is Robin. So he could also go by Bobby or Bob. I don't think it is personal, I just think it is something guys do.

And I have never had an issue with my name. My dad confessed to me last year (I was 33) that when they named me they thought is would be cute and then as I got older he thought for sure that I would want to change it but I didn't and I don't... Other people had more of an issue than I did. At the begging of the year, or in the case of a Sub teacher, I would be ask what my real name was and the class would break out in a chorus of Bobbie Jo. I think they were just as sick of the question as I was. And every teacher would look around for a boy... Even with the female spelling on both names.

Anyway, tell him Zack is out of the question but that you might agree on a play of his real name. And I agree, if he doesn't want to play and calm down, that some kid name Robin would be getting his presents, wonder how well that would go over.. He would probably go through the roof. Don't you just love the dramatic fits over things they won't win...

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 09:14 pm:

LOL Sunny! Being a teacher...I've heard that story a million times. He'll appreciate by the time he's 17. At least he didn't say he'd hold his breath until then!! LOL! :)

Or, you can always call him the "Artist formerly known as Robin"?
Is he getting teased at school or something? If so, maybe help him think of some comebacks. Kids can be so cruel. I think it's neat that it's sentimental...he WILL appreciate it one day...one day. Until then, we'll pray that you enjoy the temporary silence.
Vent away...and let us know when he talks to you again. :)

By Jewlz on Wednesday, December 7, 2005 - 01:43 pm:

You might look up important people with the name robin. Maybe show him that name has some respect and importance not just from his dad. In his defense some kids may see the name robin as a girls name and sometimes can be cruel in the classroom. THis is just a thought. Also what about a nickname that u and he can agree on or his middle name for a while ... my daughter switched back and fourth between jessica and marie every so often. she likes the name jessica but there were so many of them that she felt she got lost in the classroom. In her kidargarten class alone was six of them. so she became marie and become the only one.then moved again and we were back jessica ... a name is individuality and u know what mom will always have robin in her heart but he is searching for what makes him special... encourage him to strive for making a name for himself even if its his middle name or initials RC or rb or what ever ur last name...also Robbi is a spinoff of the name robin ... have him make a list that can be a apart of the names he has been given so its not so far from his original name.

By Latonya on Thursday, December 8, 2005 - 07:57 am:

My ds, Dylan, wants to change his name to Clint Eastwood!!

By Missbookworm on Friday, December 9, 2005 - 10:12 am:

wow! I don't know what I'd do. I'd find it darn near impossible to call my child a different name.

I guess you could tell him if he wants to be called zack at school and things he can just start trying to change it with his friends there. Say you refuse to start calling him Zack though. Tell him if he still feels the same when he's an adult then he can change it! LOL Then he can also afford to pay for it himself. I imagine this too shall pass (as shall my child issues) but I know it sucks in the meantime

((((((((((((((((((((( Cat )))))))))))))))))))))))

p.s. On the ignore you til you do part I would say Ok you ignore me til I do but don't ask me or dad for anything you want if you're ignoring us. Then don't give him anything, after all Christmas is coming and you could just say that counts for Christmas too!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, December 9, 2005 - 06:18 pm:

Cat, so what happened.. Did Robin break under the pressure???

My brother in laws name is Alfred. He went by Alfred until he was in 2nd grade and then he switched to James, his middle name. Kids are crule to say the least...

I would never change what I called my child. My children all have pet twist to their names and when angry they hear their full names flow from my lips before the thought even reaches my mind. Him wanting strangers or friends to refer to him as XYZ is one thing but for him to ask/expect you to call him something is is not right. My DH is Robert.. His friends call him Rob and people he meets call him Bob.. And he will always be Robert to his mother. So if you are with him and someone comes up and says Hi Bob you know this guy isn't a friend but someone he knows through work or someone he didn't deem personal enough to correct them when they called him Bob in the first time. And all my friends and family call me Bobb... So, anyway.. I hope you two have worked this out.

By Cat on Friday, December 9, 2005 - 08:45 pm:

Robin finally dropped it. I think he realized I wasn't going to play his little game. He wasn't being teased by anyone. There are no kids at school to tease him because he's home schooling this year. :) So after throwing his fit the other day and I didn't give in, he hasn't even mentioned it. If he does bring it up again I think I'll go with the dirivitves (sp?) of Robin. Rob, Robby, etc.

Bobbie, my dh is a Robert, too. (man, there are a lot of those out there! lol) He goes by Rob, but will always be Robert to his family. There are a few people that he meets that call him Bob because they don't know any better. :) He almost always corrects them. He hate being called Bob! lol

Thanx, everyone for the advise, listening and the hugs. One of my many parenting battles, over for now. :)

By Breann on Friday, December 9, 2005 - 09:02 pm:

I wanted to change my name when I was in 6th grade. I absolutely hated my name. I wanted to change it to Brooke, lol. My mom said ok! I was Brooke for a couple of days, then I went back to Breann. I got over it pretty fast!

By Pamt on Saturday, December 10, 2005 - 12:03 pm:

Funny. My DH is Robert and goes by Robert. He hates when people assume that he goes by Bob or Rob. I do call him Bob sometimes, but it's more of a pet name. My family calls him BobbyT as a pet name too and he doesn't mind that. His initial's actually spell RAT. so he was called Rat all through school and college. Our college and high school friends still call him Rat, as does his dad.

I'm not crazy about my name, but I don't know what I would change it to. Everyone calls me Pam, but professionally when I sign my name or write I letter I sign it Pamela. My middle name is Ann and I always wanted to add an "e" (Anne). If people forget my name, they almost always call me "Amy" instead, so I must really look like an Amy--LOL.

By Missbookworm on Saturday, December 10, 2005 - 03:31 pm:

On the name variations. I'm Catherin (everyone almost always adds the "e". It annoys me to no end! LOL I almost wish my parents had spelled it traditionally just so I wouldn't always have to send things like ID back to get fixed and always correct people. lol

I hate to be called Cathy (only my dad and my ex boyfriend still call me that) I prefer Catherin (business) Cat with friends and I would love to be called Kate but no one has ever picked it up! LOL so I live with Cat or Catherin :)

By Tink on Saturday, December 10, 2005 - 07:05 pm:

My dh is also Robert but he will only answer to Rob. His mom gets away with Robbie but I don't think I've ever heard anyone call him Robert. He'll correct anyone that calls him Bob but very few people assume a nickname for him.

Catherin, I love the nickname Cat! I wanted to name our youngest dd Kennedy, just so I could nickname her Kat.

By Kaye on Sunday, December 11, 2005 - 12:24 am:

My 6th grade dd went from nicole to nikki this year. She was changing schools and it just seemed like the right choice for her. I am trying hard to call her correctly in front of friends, but it doesn't come easy! Funny thing is we named her what we did, because girl or boy she would be nikki (nicholas). After she was born we decided that we didn't really like nikki, but prefered her full name. By age two she corrected people who called her incorrectly nikki. Oh well, we tried!

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, December 11, 2005 - 11:05 am:

Dawn doesn't really have nicknames. Only a few people in my life get away with calling me Dawnie, DH and the girl who was my little sister, when I did Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I just don't like it!

My youngest sister's name is Margaret and insisted on being "Margaret", when she was only 3. When she was in middle school, or so, my mom tried to get Meg going, but we were all so used to calling her Margaret, that it just didn't catch on. She HATED being called Maggie and inflicted bodily damage on anyone who tried. (fingernails in your skin, until she drew blood, but you know how sisters can be!)

My dad's name is Ron and all of his aunts used to call him Ronnie. That always killed me, when I was a kid, because to me, he wasn't a Ronnie! My mom often calls him RJ, since his middle name is James.

My hubby's name is Gary and that's all anyone calls him!

Kids are Sarah and Emily. Sarah is just Sarah, but Emily is once in a while, just Em.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, December 11, 2005 - 01:01 pm:

At one point Jen wanted to change her name. She says she hates her name - Jennifer Lauren. I always thought it was pretty. She goes by Jen, her own doing - and has since around 5th or 6th grade.

Jeff wanted to change his name when he was young to Mario! LOL I suppose it had something to do with playing Nintendo, but I clearly remember him at around age 6, telling us he wanted to be called Mario. NOT happening!

Jules' birth name is Juliet Ann. She always hated it, said she got teased about Romeo and Juliet. I started calling her Jules many years ago and it stuck.

Jason decided to start spelling his name Jaysun in high school. UGH! Thankfully that phase did not last long.

My sister Nancy legally changed her name to Nikki a number of years ago.

As for me, I always hated my name, and I'm not going to even say what it is. I always thought it sounded like a *hick* name.

By Cat on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 09:24 am:

Dh is the only one that calls me Cat (unless Robin wants my attention and I don't hear him say "MOM!!!" lol). My given name is Cathleen but I've always been called Cathy. Cathleen was reserved for when I was in trouble, and then it was "Cathleen Elizabeth!!!" The only person to insist on calling me Cathleen was a colonel who was the commander of another squadron when I was in the military. My office had done his office a favor (ran some phone lines) so every time I saw him he'd say, "Hello Cathleen!" There was no point in trying to correct him. lol The only other time someone's tried to call me something different was another person I worked with in the military. He insisted on calling me Katey, even though I explained to him my name wasn't Katherine and wasn't even spelled with a K! Whatever...

By Andyjoy on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 03:32 pm:

When I was in 8th grade I wanted to change the spelling of my name from Andrea to Andria, just to be different (there were 2 Andreas in my school of 15 students). However, it was a fleeting wish and I never pressed the issue.

When I was a newborn, my grandmother started referring to me as Andi--which my mom HATED. However, when my grandmother first saw me, she said, "Oh, she's too cute to be Andi--she's Andrea!"

When I was in 3rd grade, several boys objected to playing soccer with girls. Thus, the most popular boy in my class "renamed" me A.J. I've gone by A.J. and Andy as a teen/college student.

My sister Lisa wanted to be renamed Elizabeth from ages 3-12. Then, when she was 15 she started going by Lisa Marie (her actual 1st and middle name) and still goes by this at 22.

My mom's name is Michele (yes, 1 L) so it's often misspelled or mispronounced. She also doesn't have a middle name, so my sister and I picked Renee for her when we were 8 & 10.

By My3cuties on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 12:45 am:

OH my. I don't think one single person in my entire school life spelled my name right the first time. Even when I would spell it out I would say C-A-N-D-I-S and they would add an E I was like, um..no, No E! lol Anyway, just thought I'd share. and I got nicknamed Candy and candy*** which I didn't care for. grr.

I'm glad Robin dropped the whole change my name thing. Katelyn has started saying I am "so and so" and I play along and then 2 mintues later if I call her that she says, "MOM!, my name IS Katelyn" oh brother... kids! lol

By Robin on Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 03:55 pm:

I have to say, my name was not and still is not a favorite for me. I am Robin Claire named for my parents, Robert and Claire. I preferred Claire but since that name was already taken, I just changed the spelling from Robin to Robyn in the eigth grade. I changed it back. The reason I hated Robin was because everyone thought it was a boy's name! I still get mail addressed to Mr. Robin. Also, as a catholic school student, the nuns always asked me for my real name. Robin is not as good as Mary or Anne in the catholic religion.

By Annie2 on Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 05:42 pm:

I have a simple name, Anne. Everyone always asks me if there is an E at the end. Everyone calls me Annie, except my dh who calls me Anne. I love my name now. Ann is a very popular middle name but I know only one other first-named Anne.
When I was younger I wanted a name that was like a boys name; like Chris.

By Cat on Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 08:41 pm:

Robin, it's funny that you say everyone thinks you're a boy because everyone always thinks my Robin is a girl! When ever someone calls to talk about him (medical, school, etc) they always say "She". I always have to say, "Well, HE..." lol Shoot, I have a birth announcement listing a "Daughter, to Mr and Mrs M". Then I have another one listed two days later listing him as a son. :)

By Bobbie~moderatr on Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 11:28 pm:

Cat, Dillan's birth certificate has him born on the 29th of February.. It wasn't a leap year, thus there was not 29 days in February that year. He was actually born on the 19th. And it list Rob's birthday wrong too... they didn't change Dillan's birth certificate either, they just put on an amendment paper.

I get mail to MR all the time. They also mix DH's and my names together. Because our first names are the same. Robert Bobbie...


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